Jay_Blu
Im a 19 year old with a strong passion for making a story. I put hard work into making sure my novels stay original, and I hope that through good criticism, my novel can become successful one day.
Writing
of reading
104
Read books
I like the path the story is going. It breaks away from the typical romance scene, rather focusing mainly on a theme of betrayal and revenge, sprinkling in a nice dark undertone to the story to enhance it. Not only that, but the female lead is powerful and smart, making her a very likable character.
Thanks for your feedback! I really appreciate the thought you put into helping my story improve. So far I agree with everything you've said and I'll make sure to improve on it. One thing I want to make certain though, what you're basically saying is both side A and B are doing what they can for survival, but with the way I'm telling the story, I'm making it seem like one side is good and the other is bad, right? If so ill do what I can to change it and make everything more clear. Once again, thank you for your review, this was very informative and helpful for me!
This was incredible. For a story of romance, the plot is actually very well-made, and you can tell the author has put a lot of effort into it. A lot of effort was also put into narration, allowing us to visualize the setting with ease. Also, a lot of the characters, especially Red, are very likeable.
The first chapter was very emotional, and the mc's will to live right when it was too late for her was heartbreaking. I will say though, your paragraphs are very long and dividing them out into smaller parts would be more pleasing to the eyes for all your readers. Other than that, this book seems very promising.
The novel has a very interesting and rather unique concept where the world is created and dominated by God's, who themselves have even created the seasons. Not only that, but the character and the kingdom she lives in are pretty much werewolves. The prologue also gives a sense of tragedy where the protagonist's parents are murdered before she could even get to know them enough to care. I do have to say although, from reading the first two chapters it's a little hard to tell who's speaking. Names arent addressed when using quotes to tell when someone talks. I also feel there is room for improvement with character design. When writing, its always good to think about what actions or ways of thinking and speaking a specific character can do or have to make them more discernable.
You wouldn't see a story relating to Greek mythology quite often, and I like that. The prologue helped forge the storyline in a magnificent way to help start the reader off pumped for the first chapter! Everything is narrated very well with much thought and detail put into every single sentence. I can almost immediately make out a characters personality just from the few actions they do or words they say. I'd say this novel is more than worth a read.
This is a story unlike any other out there, where the mc can foresee the future through his dreams, enabling him to fight against fate by changing it. The prologue is captivating and it helps the reader understand the events that will take place throughout the story. During the beginning of the novel is already a nice and eerie mystery that the mc goes through. If you're into that stuff I promise you will like it!
The novel has quite a unique setting where the characters are living in a post-modern and perhaps post-apocalyptic world. The amount of suspense and action created in the prologue is very appealing as well. Character design is also well done. The only hindrance to this novel are the bits of grammatical errors, but this novel is overall high-quality.
This was pretty dark but hilarious!
Short and sweet!