Note : please read till end . This review is real 100% . Story is very considering its author first time . The story in starting is unbearable honestly . The only reason this story has not much reader is bcoz if its starting chapters . Even author knows that . and i suggest ppl should take his advice for bearing untill first 40 or 50 chapters . Afterall story is slow in starting sowmwhat and u will curse mc for sure almost at every parah for his simpness and coward less behaviour . But wait thing starts getting intresting from after 40 chapters for honestly as Mc becomes mature . Overall this story is very good . Of not for author making some re- changes in starting chapters . u could have read my rant at every parah in stating chapters for sure . so guys its good novel u should give it try for sure . Its worth ur time . just bear for some satrting chapters and it will reselut in very good story .
To be bluntly honest and direct, the rating of 3 about sums up my opinion of this story—it’s average. After reading through 9 chapters, I wasn’t impressed nor was I repulsed. Just neutral. This story is like a skeleton that has a lot of room for improvement. It’s the basic litrpg story notion without much differentiation from any other litrpg’s. Writing Quality: Average Update Stability: Great Story Development: Below Average Character Design: Below Average World Background: Average Firstly, writing. Your English grammar is actually quite fair. No obvious awkward phrasings to note with verb tenses mainly correct. My only qualm is the punctuation. Several sentences need commas badly to make the syntax correct. And the spaces before and after commas and quotations is seriously bugging me. This is a personal little “itch” of mine whenever I see those incorrect spaces. It just doesn’t make for a pleasant reading experience. Writing style wise, it’s basically nonexistent. But as I’ve said to others, writing style is a work in a progress that develops the more you write. But your story can definitely benefit from more detail, emotion, and vocabulary. Currently, this is written as a basic web serial. Story development and character design. The first chapter was confusing. I think you made a typo with Mark Edwinson instead of Max. The repeated going to the awakening ceremony was confusing and not very engaging. It didn’t add anything to the story when you could’ve jumped right to the issuing of the gene system. All that failed awakening info can just be part of the background story for the MC. The story also drags with no much interesting conflict. I can’t see where the plot is going except for getting stronger. I understand many litrpgs are like this, but usually there is still some motivating goal for the MC to become powerful. So far, the MC doesn’t demonstrate any individuality or personality. This is further emphasized by the first person narrative. Stay away from first person narrative. It can easily get messy and confusing if you ever switch perspectives. And the principle reason for using first person is to deliver any in-depth view or insight into the speaker. This was not accomplished. In fact, you could’ve easily made this story in third person, and nothing would be lost. If you want first person, then you’ll need to improve on the narrative thought process. What does the MC feel and think? How does his actions confirm or contradict his inner thoughts? What’s his inner perspective that might not be outwardly expressed? This is what first person narrative should be used for conveying. A short bit to add onto character and writing. Instead of using caps to convey shouting, just use regular text and say that he’s shouting, like: “Damn it!” He/I shouted vehemently. Caps is unnerving and not pleasant to read. Only save caps for crucial moments and not for general shouting or cursing. Some story dialogue is unnecessary. Only include what is integral to the plot and reader’s comprehension. Not every spoken word by every character is needed. Think plot-first, what does this dialogue achieve for the story? Does it convey more of a character’s personality is besides what’s know? Does it spur forth anything conflict or reveal something important? World background is okay. Not much is described of the settings; the system details in place are sufficient though. Be careful of having too many numbers where your story becomes mainly stat screens and skills information. Plot first, always. In short, you have a lot of room for improvement, but you have the necessary English skills to back up what could become a very good story. Keep writing~!
The book starts off slow but it picks up pretty quickly. The world building could use some work. The information about the world is in the introduction. Overall after I got to like chapter 20 or so it was a very enjoyable read, to the point where when I caught up I was sad. The main character is a bit dumb, and cowardly in the beginning but gradually gets better as the story progresses.
Shit. The MC is a self-entitled, idiotic coward. If you have to wait till chapter 40+ for the story to get good, then it's obviously shit. Who's masochistic enough to read 40+ chapters of pure garbage for something that might not even give satisfying returns? Anyways MC awakens nothing, and being the son of two famous awakened people, he cries like a little shit head, understandable. What's annoying is that he gets a system and takes it for granted, which obviously proves his 2 intelligence points to be true. He constantly ridicules the system and doesn't even want to work hard for power, when he's given the chance to, he whines like a little bitch about it, which mind you is almost every chapter. MC despite having the "Calm Mind" perk, is anything but calm, think of someone that's innately timid, matched with Naruto's boisterous personality and the IQ of a brain dead chimpanzee, that's what the MC is. His "veteran" parents practically ditch him at the start despite knowing that his system is a variant and they might use MC to get to her. There's no part of MC that's realistic at all, even for that blacksmithing perk where he got 20% in a bit, he still went ahead and bought it, proving his sub-human(Literally) IQ to be true. The story reads out like a typical school novel where the MC attends and goes through cliche encounters and crap, which is boring as ****. Overall I wouldn't recommended it to anyone, unless you have the attention span of a retarded squirrel.
All i hear from MC is 'damn it' 'damn it' 'damn it' 'damn it'................... 'damn it' and cursing the system that why its not babysitting him to became as strong as an average man in more than 2 months. Many emotions but only one thing i can say- Stop making novels with poty with dumb,stupid MC atleast.
It's a passable story at first but at one point, the author started narrating the story from several points of views and it got really annoying really fast. In a same chapter it jumps 4-5 times from one point of view to the other and it ruins and confuse the reading. Showing the PoV of a character that was not properly introduced for which readers have no affection for make us feel one thing...annoyed. At chapter 20, MC is still weak as heck without any real action nor any prospect of MC having a passable strength any time soon. Would be acceptable if the story/world building was there to make up for it but so far nothing. I stopped reading it at chapter 20.
What the **** is even going on in this novel? Breaking the momentum all the time when the story is just picking up the pace, too many characters, very low descriptions, very boring story development, so typical.. I mean yeah the story is good.. But you don't release few chapters every day. And you keep changing the point of view all the fucking time, whats there to enjoy even? Beginning chapters were very much entertaining, but hell, now, it has been very disappointing. Too many complexities and too many story lines.. What the **** is with that?
This nobel is a hidden gem. If you want MC to be the typical xianxia MC who reincarnated/soul transfer therefore is ruthless, calm, intelligent, P**sy attracting magnet, OP and wears the plot armour as his underwear then this novel is not your cup of tea. This novel is a journey. We can see the MC who is a timid coward idiotic moron shittty unbearable trash grows up to become intelligent, responsible, ruthless , and sly. I know in earlier chapters due to the MC it is quite unbearable to read but trust me after chapter 50-60 you will be hooked up in this novel. As the story becomes great and the MC finally grows from a child to a man.
I dont like writing a bad review but I have to be honest here. The story has a few qualities, it is not a masterpiece but it was worth reading, untill I have reached the end of 300 chapters. Early, the story have of good world background with the MC friends acting independent and many events happening without the MC triggering it. But later his friends became his minions and everything happens just when he interacts with them. Its like he is in a game and the NPC are waiting for his arrivel to start moving. For the drop of quality I give a bad score.