There’s a lot of jumps between what happened in the books and the changes you made then weapons or facts that weren’t mentioned till that point it is getting extremely hard to follow and I do want to enjoy this story but like I said lots of jumps in facts making it hard to follow along with what’s suppose to be happening in this story. I really do like the concept though of what you’re trying to do with it. Just really think some things need some editing to make it flow together better. Maybe ask or have someone be like an editor for ya to help.

Yeah nah let shrek have his true love just grab Elsa cause she doesn’t end up with anyone plus powers

The text types

Makes sense plus it’s definitely a hassle switching between fonts just for a conversation

Ah nvm I guess it was to showcase mental aspect of that whole interaction

What’s with the text shift?

Hope to see more chapters

Pssst author you could totally take inspiration from ‘Death Mage Who Doesn’t Want a Fourth Time’ it’s got some pretty cool ways to use death magic. Plus it’s a really good read.

Yo author can you re read over your story so that you can fix some of the thing or add details you may have skipped over? I enjoy the story it’s just hard to focus on it when details are conflicting each other. I don’t know if you are basing some of the scenes straight out of the book but only slightly reworked or what. Again I do enjoy the story and I want to continue seeing how you develop it further as well just want some of the details straighten out.

I look forward to the next part of this great job by the way 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

He doesn’t have Riptide though he has Brunhilde. I thought you would’ve given him Riptide as well but that didn’t happen.

Minotaur horns? Those didn’t get dropped from what you wrote plus you never told what the cards had on them or the card for the hellhound he killed after capture the flag.

It’s all good 👍🏽

But wouldn’t that have been mentioned? Plus the mindset of mc keeps fluctuating which throws me off a bit. I can understand forgetting stuff about the series due to time in that world though.

Now don’t get me wrong I like the story it’s just throwing me off a little trying to figure out what’s still fact and what is altered

I think the author may be trying to stay true to the story but isn’t mostly useless now? Did the author go back and edit chapters or forget to edit chapters with new changes made?

This chapter is the same as last chapter thank you for multiple chapters though.

Honestly it doesn’t have to look exactly like that picture I’ve seen some that were made to look really nice. I like the idea for the khopesh being the sword it isn’t used enough.

Interesting I’m looking forward to the direction this story takes. Thank you for the chapters.

Thank you for the chapter and look forward to many more