Another novel in which a powerful 'general' who has lived for years acts like a whiny retardd child after being reincarnated. Author if you're going to write a main character acting like an dumpp, don't give him a background story like this
The cliché father route. What makes you think it makes sense for someone 3 years older than you to be someone else's father? A rich brat who hasn't even come of age is going to be someone else's father? It wouldn't look so weird if he said she'll grow up to be part of my harem.
Fellow reader's point is correct but not well expressed. As a veteran of reading thousands of web novels, I can say that you write the story very superficially. It would be nice if you gave some details. Example: Leo's first kill in Chapter 2. The emotions he feels, Lia's emotions. The effects of this on his/her... And here, everybody is attacking him all of a sudden - it's weird for some people. Because it feels like everybody in the group hates him. Should they at least say something or react?
It's weird, it seems to me that Danzo interrogated him a bit inadequately, or because you didn't explain it clearly, so now there are unanswered questions. This guy told them everything about the future and no one asked him how he knew all this? If he can tell them memories of naruto in his past life, shouldn't they find out that he's a trasmigrator? If they found out about his past, didn't they ask him how he knows so much fuinjutsu? How much did he reveal about himself, not just the future, under Danzo's influence? Did he mention that he has a system? Obviously no one is paying enough attention to him. Danzo's supposed to take all the information, record it, and investigate every little detail, and he just drops by every now and then and asks questions?! He told the guy that he will die in the future, right? That aside, if someone who knew the future showed up, wouldn't you scramble for any information you could get out of him? I expected to read this in the simulation, but you ignore writing their reaction like programmed NPCs and just use the simulation as Mc's grinding tool. Yes yes root will make it stronger than before, what an unexpected result!
My personal opinion is that both have their good sides. Here at least Mc has a firm and decisive attitude. He has emotions (a little psycho). That's good for me. But on the other hand there is not enough depth in the characters. Supporting characters etc. You have to try not to make them one-dimensional. Especially as the realms rise in power scale. And yes the first chs could polish - character interactions). Plus I don't have a problem with it but you can definitely be criticized for creating such a psycho Mc in 10 chs and completely killing his character development.
Nah, nothing afraid here. It just shows the cruelty of this world. Of course, that makes the story a little darker. Any case It's your choice whether to do or not...
It seems they are principled villains. Normally in Chinese stories, they don't have this attitude towards defenseless girls. "Hey little girl come here and play with this uncle, If I like your taste I may think let go you two..."
Okay, not gonna lie, I think you're throwing some bs now. In the simulation where Orochimaru killed him, what was missing that he got Sannin's attention but not Danzo's? Obviously he was there more to develop his power in plain sight. There's a Danzo plot in every Naruto ff so I'm no stranger to it but now his unplanned appearance screams 'forced plot!'
He can take different races and fuse them with his own race. And he can train their powers more easily. instead of taking it out of the system every time. Still, I think the title is a bit deceptive. Thanks for the comment I will think about it 🤔
It's not much for now, but he'll only need it when he's not a simple Hollow. He also needs a place to put the items in the shop.
He had a bit of spiritual energy before he transformed into the Hollow, so I wanted to point out that his actually 'traveled' during the transformation. From Demi-Hollow to - Hollow. In short, he fused with him when he was at his weakest moment.
No, I understand. Before I explain one by one, I want to mention one thing. Since not many chapters have been published, it's normal to have questions about the system or Mc's personality, etc. Story doesn't have a fast pace. That's why I'm showing most of the things with Mc. These things will be clear before the first arc is over. You can be sure. What you say about the evolutionary process of Menos is true. They're a new kind of hollow that was formed from hundreds of hollow clusters after cannibalism. But that's not what I'm talking about here. You're thinking of Mc's hollow evolution like in the Bleach anime. He's a hollow with a system. So you don't have to worry about his personality or his will being weak or being swallowed by other souls. His evolution process will be different. If you want, you can just see it as an increase in the spiritual reserves that he has, that's fine with me. About system, system is just using souls as energy. He is not a hollow! Souls don't accumulate inside her. I don't think I designed the system badly. I adjusted it for most of the things that can happen. I just think I didn't introduce his features more, there's too much confusion, I'll make a separate chapter for sytem details. And I think it is ridiculous for you to see my Mc as the worst Hollow Mc. There are Hollow Mc's with systems on this site. They get tasks from their systems. They evolve as long as they complete the condition. Do you think these Hollow Mc's are so great? Or do you not care about the problems you mentioned? If you compare it to normal Hollow Mc's, I can understand, but calling it the worst is very biased.