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HGB9mthCommentedOne punch man + Sung Jinwoo
This book has been deleted.- HGB9mthPosted
It's great so far !! Read till the current chapter on another account, and I have to say I've taken a shine to it. While the writing flows a bit iffy in places, for the most part, it's good. Decently stable on the updates which is always a positive thing. The story development needs some work, I'd reccommend going back over what you've written because some of the logic feels off. I like way you've done characters, and I always appreciate a good xinxia world with cultivation and whatnot. All-in-all, I'd say this a worthy read thus far !
- HGB9mthCommented
Your descriptors are fine and more than dandy, at least for my tastes, but it reads like a list. Ex. They had a small figure. They were crouched in a bush. Their hair was black and so was their eyes. They were youthful. etc etc To state the obvious, your writing isn't exactly like that, but I feel you get the gist of what I'm saying. Ciao !
A panting figure hid within the lush crown of the tall trees. The windy rustling of leaves drowned out his heavy breaths. The pears of sweat covering his body sparkled under the few sun rays. A damp, haggard cloak sticking to his skin veiled most of his youthful figure. 'Dammit, who are they?!' Orion cursed within his thoughts as he darted his view around. - HGB1yrReplied to pop_smoke6
I have, yes— but that isn't to the level of degrading the man to an object. When a woman says 'my man' they are showing that the man is tied to them and them alone, showing a possession over them. Is a parent saying 'my son/daughter' objectifying the child? What I'm talking about is woman being seen as dots to be checked off, objects that hold their only value in that they are pretty and mostly not for their prowess. Feel free to think what you will though
That didn't mean he would just keep her in a crystal box, no he wouldn't do that mistake anymore. This time he would train all his women, and family to be overlords beside him. - HGB1yrCommented
Perhaps you could elaborate or provide an actual reason? Ex. Spears are good at keeping enemies at range, and are easier to learn and use in the short term—all you have to do is thrust the spear head forward. This is just a quick example, but you should get the gist of it.
I was presented with the image of many weapons but when I searched for guns I couldn't find them, I guess we have to hunt using primitive weapons and so I selected spear because it can be used in many ways. - HGB1yrCommented
Rejoice, rejoice! For a miracle has been bestowed, a Main Character with a modicum of intelligence. Though, he probably should have used it earlier—with how caring his surrogate parents appear to be, they would no doubt have cracked down on the issue if it was brought to their attention.
All in all? My plan had been a complete success. - HGB1yrReplied to Cyclxne
That still doesn't change anything, though?
After overhearing about this game by chance, I felt compelled to check it out, for some unexplained reason. I didn't quite understand why myself, but I decided to follow my instincts. - HGB1yrReplied to Dark_Lord_3114
Back when I wrote this, I meant to convey that it would look ridiculous. Though, I failed, causing this misunderstanding.
Bite the air thirty-six times and hug the visualized Kunlun with both hands. Sound the heavenly drum on the left and right, and smell at the angle of twenty-four degrees. Shake the heavenly pillar slightly. The crimson dragon stirs the water and rinses thirty-six times. After the divine water fills the mouth, swallow it in three gulps. Dragon soars and the tiger runs on its own…detailCultivation! My Augmented Statuses Have Unlimited DurationEastern · Turtle Shell and Hemp Rope - HGB1yrCommented
I just don't get why women are viewed as objects to be obtained in so many novels on this site.
That didn't mean he would just keep her in a crystal box, no he wouldn't do that mistake anymore. This time he would train all his women, and family to be overlords beside him. - HGB1yrCommented
Celestial feces, this man is an abyss-damned idiot.
If he could in this life he wouldn't let that happen. He would save this goddess from her misery, and why not make her, his woman. - HGB2yrPosted
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- HGB2yrCommented
A battle of epic proportions
Events like this were happening all over the battlefield that had spanned over several hundred kilometers in diameter. - HGB2yrCommented
Being tall in this battle is bad... it just makes you a bigger and easier target to hit
It was undoubtedly dead... - HGB2yrReplied to Evelyn_Wiles
looks weird, sounds right
He got out of the cab after paying the driver. Checking his surroundings, he sneaked into a dark alleyway and came out in his disguise as Shura. - HGB2yrPosted
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