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JJ_Prakoso

JJ_Prakoso

Lv1

Helloooo, I love to write what I want to write

2020-08-02 JoinedIndonesia
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314
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso1yr
    Replied to Lord_of_sleep

    Thank you very much for the comment

    Ch 280 Time To Move on Into The Next Phase of The Colossal Battle
    Sparror Volume 1
    Fantasy · JJ_Prakoso
    detail
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso1yr
    Posted

    "Here is my review based on what I read so far: Story Development: I think the progress of the story is okay, but the direction and where the plot goes for me is quite messy in my opinion. First of all, Chapter 1-2 already set something interesting will happen than all of sudden Chapter 3 The MC just go to the Academy without even mentioning the previous or doing something after the event of Chapter 1-2 happen. It felt The previous two chapters are never exist. However, that problem can be fix by giving more mention about the previous thing or at least an inner monologue for The MC World Background; The world-building for me is quite interesting as there is magic and mythical creature, also many other things. However, , the world can be more fleshed out especially if the author explore of the environment or the description of the environment. Character Design: Alika for me is a final character and I think she will have a good development with the main Male Lead. While the side characters, I think they are all okay. However, I think Alika backstory can be more flesh out or the event after Chapter 2 occurred like how she got to the academy and many more. Overall that's all I have to say about this novel and good luck.

    Alicole Chronicles: Unexpected Quest Duo
    Fantasy · AlicoleChronicler
    detail
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso2yr
    Replied to AlicoleChronicler

    Thank you very much for this detailed review. I'm very happy and really thankful that you enjoying or sharing the enjoyment of the story and the characters in this novel. So cheers!!! [img=recommend][img=recommend]

    Sparror Volume 1
    Fantasy · JJ_Prakoso
    detail
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso2yr
    Replied to YS_og

    Ah Ok noted and thanks again

    Ch 1 Daily Morning Walk
    Sparror Volume 1
    Fantasy · JJ_Prakoso
    detail
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso2yr
    Replied to YS_og

    As for the Gazerman and the conversation it's more into setting about the world if you wanted to know the more information or showing what Hatoshi character is. Hope that explanation can help and thanks again for the comment

    Ch 1 Daily Morning Walk
    Sparror Volume 1
    Fantasy · JJ_Prakoso
    detail
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso2yr
    Replied to YS_og

    Ah I see thanks for the critical comment and it is really helpful to further my skill and improvement for this novel. So thank you very much

    Ch 1 Daily Morning Walk
    Sparror Volume 1
    Fantasy · JJ_Prakoso
    detail
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso2yr
    Posted

    The story of this novel is quite intriguing and exciting at the same time as there are gods, Immortal realm, and many more mythical things happen from the book. However, my main gripe about the book and sorry to say this is sometime the book have too much telling information rather than showing. It also have a capital problem that you can check it out again. Regardless, it's still a joyful book to read and I'm looking forward in the future updates about this book and hopefully it can fleshed out more the interesting world.

    This book has been deleted.
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso2yr
    Posted

    This novel is quite great, I like the concept of the Mythos organization and the worldbuilding about this world. The Mc for me is well fleshed out in the early chapter. Good luck and I'm looking forward to reading more!!

    Vows and Bullets
    Urban · Macy_Bae
    detail
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso2yr
    Posted

    Here is my review based on what I read so far about this book: Story Development: I think the direction for this story is quite clear and I felt each chapters of this story keep moving forward or should I said very steady. Character Design: The description of the character for me is pretty okay and The Main Character is mostly fine. Overall, I can see some potential within the main character especially that he has a journey. However, I think you can explore more about his true motivation. While the side characters are just fine, it's just only needs more context or showing who they really are. World Background: The world background is fine, but I think you should give more context or description of the environment because it's so far it's clear, but not really enough in terms how I would imagine the world. That's all I have to say about this novel and keep up the good work!!

    Primordial Versatile Grandmaster
    Fantasy · Mel_Aniv
    detail
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso2yr
    Posted

    Here is my review based on what I read so far: Story Development: I think the progress of the story is okay, but the direction and where the plot goes for me is quite messy in my opinion. First of all, Chapter 1-2 already set something interesting will happen than all of sudden Chapter 3 The MC just go to the Academy without even mentioning the previous or doing something after the event of Chapter 1-2 happen. It felt The previous two chapters are never exist. However, that problem can be fix by giving more mention about the previous thing or at least an inner monologue for The MC World Background; The world-building for me is quite interesting as there is magic and mythical creature, also many other things. However, , the world can be more fleshed out especially if the author explore of the environment or the description of the environment. Character Design: Alika for me is a final character and I think she will have a good development with the main Male Lead. While the side characters, I think they are all okay. However, I think Alika backstory can be more flesh out or the event after Chapter 2 occurred like how she got to the academy and many more. Overall that's all I have to say about this novel and good luck.

    The Alicole Witch and the Demon Prince
    Fantasy · AlicoleChronicler
    detail
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso2yr
    Posted

    Here are my honest thoughts so far about this novel based on What I read so far about this book and very sorry I'm did this late because of couple of busy things happening: World Background: So far the world background is some kind in survival arena which is quite interesting. I do like that this story is a battle royale type of story, but there is a little bit flaw that can be fix. Which is giving little bit more detail about the environment starting from the ground or unique things of the world. Overall, so far the world background is okay. Story Development: I think there is a big set up about this story as each chapter the plot is processing and mostly introduce couple of interesting things as it goes on. There are also some mysteries being introduce in this world and it can be fleshed out more especially how the battle royale works. Character Design; I think they are all fine as for now as the characters are well diverse in terms of personalities. I also like this novel chose to name number for the character which is quite unique concept As for the Main Character 333, he is alright I guess especially with his snarky personality, but I think you can give 333 deeper exploration and a clear goal or motivation on joining the survival game. Also 333 so far is quite passive as the MC, therefore you can give him more active role in the ongoing chapters. I think that's all I have to say about this novel and the writing quality of this novel is quite fine since it has description about the situation and I do like the first person commentary of 333 Overall, Good Jod and Good luck!!!

    333
    Urban · Riceballs_25
    detail
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso2yr
    Replied to PewPewBoomSplash

    Thank you very much for the honest review and I'm really glad about it. I'm also grateful you enjoyed it. So Cheers!!

    Sparror Volume 1
    Fantasy · JJ_Prakoso
    detail
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso2yr
    Replied to PewPewBoomSplash

    You're welcome

    Delllleted
    Fantasy · PewPewBoomSplash
    detail
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso2yr
    Posted

    Here are my honest thoughts about this novel, I think The main character for me is quite okay for me right now. He is not too bratty and whine to almost everything. I also like he also quite brave to stand up against his bully. However, there are issues regarding Alexander Characterization and here is the list that can be improve: - I think you can give him more build up or information before he receiving the system -You also can maybe showing more interaction between his parent before they die. Maybe you can give more flashback or an interaction before they finally died. Oka let's move on to the world building, for me the world building is quite decent maybe. Yes it set to the modern world which I already have a clear picture of it, but there are certain area that can be improved: - The Author maybe can give a little bit hint or more description of the surroundings. - The author can also at least mention of how the people see and react to this certain things such as the system or some mystical monster that suddenly appeared. As for the pace, I do have a problem, especially with Chapter 1 and Chapter 2. Sorry to say this, it felt that the chapter belong to the middle part of the story or should I say the origin of how the character got that power. Therefore my only suggestion is slowing down the pace...I guess like properly introduce the main Character either interacting with his parents before they died. Another suggestion is maybe the author can give a chapter about flashbacks before the incident especially for the continuation of the book. It could flesh out the Main Character even more and their parents too. However, there are some good things in this novel too: - The side character is mostly decent and have their own traits - The writing is mostly very smooth, clean, and precise in my opinion. Overall that's all I have to say about this novel that have a great potential. Thus good luck and keep up the good work

    Delllleted
    Fantasy · PewPewBoomSplash
    detail
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso2yr
    Commented
    This chapter has been deleted.
    Delllleted
    Fantasy · PewPewBoomSplash
    detail
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso2yr
    Commented

    It's lucky the mission isn't Consuming Human Flesh, lol

    This chapter has been deleted.
    Delllleted
    Fantasy · PewPewBoomSplash
    detail
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso2yr
    Commented
    This chapter has been deleted.
    Delllleted
    Fantasy · PewPewBoomSplash
    detail
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso2yr
    Commented

    Quite a good hook, but there is an issue in this chapter. First of all, there isn't much clear context on what really happening. So I suggest to give more description on what's really going on and elaborate more of how the character felt..maybe. Anyway it's my suggestion and it's okay for you to disagree.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    Delllleted
    Fantasy · PewPewBoomSplash
    detail
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso2yr
    Posted

    World Background: The world building in this story is quite messy and not fully clear. I'm aware this is medieval fantasy, but I'm still don't get the clear image for this world. Therefore, I suggest to give more description about the surroundings and maybe a detail to make it more flesh out. As for the power system or Aura in this book, I suggested to develop more the mechanic of how it really works by either showing more the capability and describe the feel when the power is activated. Character: I believe the characters is pretty okay and serviceable at best. The main character so far it's fine and I do like she will have future development regarding her power and the treatment of the evil knights. While the side characters is just alright, but the author can fleshing out them more by giving more role and personality. I also like the author already introduce the significant Antagonistic in the early chapter. Pace: I think the pace is okay, but sometimes I felt too fast. Overall, it's quite good fantasy novel and I can see great potential with the elements provided in this novel. Good luck!!

    Androsia - The Queen of Crows
    Fantasy · Sharyanna
    detail
  • JJ_Prakoso
    JJ_Prakoso2yr
    Commented

    Sorry to say this, I think this dialogue felt belonged to a damaged robot, especially with the constant stuttering. Here's my suggestion and like before, its okay to disagree: "We..had d-detected an..Aura a-awakening."

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    Androsia - The Queen of Crows
    Fantasy · Sharyanna
    detail