Se7en
As a shameless author... Or very smart and cunning, I'm giving myself five stars, just because I can, and because that might be the only one I'll get... Sniff. (Feel sorry for me and give me five stars, hehe). I hope my story pleases you all, just as many of the stories here please and cheer me. :) I would also like you to tell me what I can improve on the fanfic, because it would improve the experience for you guys, and it would help me to write better (And learn English). But please, when commenting, be respectful. I would love to receive a negative review to help me improve, but I would be very disappointed (and perhaps annoyed) if I were only given name-calling and mockery. But I still hope you have fun reading and commenting, just as I had fun writing. Thanks Se7en! :)
WebNovel has decided that the site's readers should be forced to use the app to read the stories they like, and because of that I've decided that I will post my fanfic on other sites as well. I myself am one of the readers who uses the site, because I translate the stories with Google Translate, but fortunately now I can read some texts in English, but the feeling is not the same. I'll start posting on the sites: FanFiction.Net, RoyalRoad and ScribbleHub. If you know other good sites, let me know.
Even Ignoring the fact that you can't train occlumecy without the assistance of a legilimens, that you can't successfully train controlled Magic until the age of 11, that occlumecy and legilimency take years to train to novice mastery, let alone the full mastery required to augment ones memories, that training one martial art to full mastery requires at least half a decade of dedicated work, let alone 4-8 martial arts with only semi-dedication, that you can't learn magical spells based upon what you've learned from movies and books from another life taught with the use of a wand in mind, wandlessly. Ignoring all of that, creating a character that is so Overpowered before Canon even starts, such that at his current rate of progression he will never be in danger at any point in the story, makes for a horribly boring and bland tale indeed. This is complete wish fulfillment, it is not at all realistic even for fantasy fiction. what's more the grammar while decent enough to read is still below average and often repetitive. all in all I recommend the author is clear and concise with whatever point they may be trying to get across, that they describe the environment around the character more often and in more detail, that they stop giving written diatribes of what the character plans to do and more of what they are currently doing, that they make the character face danger and adversity more often and that the character is given more of a personality, with faults and quirks and that the character is not so strong so fast, AT MOST they should be at the level of a third year at the end of the first year.
Writing: Not bad but needs improvement. Update: No comment. I mean every HP fanfics start with at a dozen chapters but very few maintain their momentum while the rest are dropped. Storyline: MC's too OP and no proper explanation for MC'S Powers. Character: Typical OP MCish behavior. Nothing that stands from other dropped fanfics. I mean nothing is perfect. Fanfics are like what we would have done if we're in HP kind of thing. As humans are not perfect the author should mix failures in success. I mean like how can a normal human can control magic and fight better than most adults at age of 5/10 year old albeit the human is a transmigration without hard work and years of experience even if he is creative is beyond my imagination. Long story short if you need to have a OP MC then write in the perspective of a normal human from Earth. Not everyone are genius you know. Background: No comment. Story is still young.
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50 chapters in and there is nothing but info dumps. It reads more like a wiki than a story. If it's suppose to be a slice of life then make about a slice of life, but instead we are a fed a drivel of facts and history instead of a story. It's like having Hermione in your ears telling you about her day.
I read the 1st chapter before dropping it and writing this review. The quality of english is between MTL and basic english. It gets the point across while still confusing in some places. The story is a standard reincarnated MC who keeps his memories. MC Ethan in his previous life was otaku but also read advanced books so I guess he was smart? He gets an op power which I think is something like an empath or maybe telekenisis? I donβt know since I did not read that far. Decent length chapters and supposed update schedule if author can keep up with it. I wrote paragraph comments in the 1st chapter which you might see if you decide to read this fanfic.
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I loved the story but considering that the story has 109 chapters and up to cap 65 he is still in his first year. against but not my preference. The second is MS's tendency to be praised for everything he does. So it's not for me. Very slow story. Adorei a histΓ³ria mas considerando que a histΓ³ria tem 109 capΓtulos e atΓ© o cap 65 ele ainda estΓ‘ no primeiro ano. Eu ou largar. A histΓ³ria Γ© incrivelmente bem escrita. Meu problema estΓ‘ na sua interaΓ§Γ£o com dois garotos na maior parte da histΓ³ria nΓ£o tenho nada contra mas nΓ£o Γ© minha preferΓͺncia. O segundo Γ© a tendΓͺncia do MS de ser elogiado por tudo o que ele faz. EntΓ£o nΓ£o Γ© para mim histΓ³ria muito lenta.
I read 45 chapters and there hasn't been an ounce of action. seems obvious he wants to stray away from the plot and any action at all. its basically just been a long training montage. The writing is at an acceptable level but the humor falls short consistently due to the level of English. he does time skips then goes back to tell you what he did in detail, which defeats the purpose of the time skip. lol The author made sure to add 98/100 of the most popular hp fanfic tropes, granted the few not added were major ones. The story is decent but honestly just seems like a side story at this point. Not being involved and not affecting the plot is just lazy writing in my eyes. 45+ chapters and no true storyline cept a kid who's already reached his goal of being the most powerful wizard basically. Overall not a bad story but its development is at a snails pace, having full chapters dedicated to single day classes, consistently. I had to give up but I would recommend people to give the story a chance, I know there are folk who would like this story.
Me gusta el modo en que has ido desarrollando la historia de manera muy relajada pero no ignorando el entorno de la misma ya que considero Γ©se un detalle bastante importante, y me gusta que no tenga Γ‘lgo asΓ como un enemigo desde el principio de la historia ya que es algo raro ser un niΓ±o con enemigos jajaja.
first of all i love those hp novels and read most of them. this story is just not to me. i just cannot stand how he learn all skills easy, and all we get is little bit world building and lots and lots her skills and spells. too many always makes mc too op millions skills and spells. i love op mc but too op is not that good. maybe write bit more about her school life and not how he will make that spell work and other god sake he is 11 year and other world. but still novel was not bad and hope all best
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