Wowthatsalongname
of reading
2022
Read books
100*100*6 = 60,000. :/
line break between the "man continued" and the ""blah blah blah"" part.
Overall, it's a good story. I am only here because the author asked for some criticism on his novel. So here we go: -Put some more spaces in your walls of text. seriously, it makes it hard to read for me. -A little faced paced, but within an acceptable range. -small grammar mistakes, but not enough to stop or interrupt the flow of the story, in my opinion. -Just binge read it so I can't comment on the update stability really. -Story seems rushed, and a little... Unrelatable? try putting some more depth to the characters, some emotional pizazz is also in need here. I would put some more stuff here, but I just couldn't find motivation to read more of this.
Advice: -if you are going to change the survivor count, change all mentions of it, it provides a point of dis-engagement as the world changes inexplicably outside of the notice of the reader. -The knights can be desperate, but if they take random kids off the street, they aren't knights, they are just soldiers. knights would recruit only adults and put through training Before travelling with them and getting into combat.
Try putting lines and spacing out the conversations, instead of walls of texts. For example: "Blah blah blah" said the man next to Rei, Rei turned as if in acknowledgment as the man continued "blah Blah Blah"
So, some advice: -Try to flesh out the conversations, even in the first chapter I get the cardboard cutout slide show feel from this. -Get rid of the lines, they act as section breaks. In a story that's supposed to flow smoothly till the end of the chapter, it makes it short and choppier. Try using transitions, for example describe them riding, even so far as to make a conversation while they travel.