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Wowthatsalongname

Wowthatsalongname

Lv3
2019-08-01 JoinedGlobal
33.1h

of reading

2022

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6

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46
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname1yr
    Commented

    100*100*6 = 60,000. :/

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Using Modern Weapons In a Fantasy World
    Fantasy · GLC00
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Replied to Wowthatsalongname

    line break between the "man continued" and the ""blah blah blah"" part.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Draga of the Vanguard
    Urban · Critical_Kind
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Replied to doodlyy

    I like how for me the author comment was the comment at the bottom of the entire list. XD

    altalt
    Undeath Emperor In Another World
    Fantasy · doodlyy
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Posted

    Pretty cool, but two big problems: -The story is Very infrequently updated, like 6 months long updated, most of the time I question if it's dropped or not by the time the author bothers to upload a chapter. -The story is a bit of personal insert MC, and a power trip of the authors.

    altalt
    Undeath Emperor In Another World
    Fantasy · doodlyy
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Replied to doodlyy

    ...

    Ch 17 A Kind Little Lad(?)
    altalt
    Undeath Emperor In Another World
    Fantasy · doodlyy
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Posted

    What can I say, but the fact that this has been dropped so long I don't remember what the story is even about anymore, and that the story was removed so I can't even tell you what this used to be about, all i remember is that the story used to be pretty good though, don't know why it dropped?

    altalt
    Cybor
    Games · HaloHalo
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Replied to Wowthatsalongname

    I meant to say that the chapters are a bit too long, and that it's a trial to get to the end of them sometimes, Sorry for the mix up!

    altalt
    Mysterious Death Emperor
    Anime & Comics · MadamArc
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Posted

    Great story, except for: the fact that it's dropped, and that the story is a bit all over the place, and that the grammar is a little bad, and that the chapters are just short enough to be annoying for me but not enough to lower the story by a star. Other than that, 10/10.

    altalt
    Mysterious Death Emperor
    Anime & Comics · MadamArc
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Posted

    Great story was dropped, now sad. other than that, 10/10, though you could use a bit more spaces, and not a wall of text for every chapter. Story is great, Characters great, world is explained enough to understand the story, but could use a bit more explanation.

    altalt
    The God of Exp
    Fantasy · TrueGodOfExp
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Replied to Polaris123

    lol

    Ch 24 Unexpected Gain
    altalt
    The God of Exp
    Fantasy · TrueGodOfExp
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Posted

    I feel like the author perfectly describes what happened in his Explanation chapter. But in case you didn't read it for some reason, he dropped the original because it was a mess, so kudos to you author. At least you try to fix your mistakes, unlike most authors.

    altalt
    Adventures of Amnesia
    Fantasy · ShadowQuill
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Posted

    Was great, author dropped it, i think he started again but i just don't want to re-read all of the story to refresh myself on the story just for him to drop it again. But other than that, it's a great story, go read it.

    altalt
    Death with benefits
    Urban · DreamingSAGE
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Replied to Silently_Reading

    true.

    altalt
    Draga of the Vanguard
    Urban · Critical_Kind
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Posted

    Overall, it's a good story. I am only here because the author asked for some criticism on his novel. So here we go: -Put some more spaces in your walls of text. seriously, it makes it hard to read for me. -A little faced paced, but within an acceptable range. -small grammar mistakes, but not enough to stop or interrupt the flow of the story, in my opinion. -Just binge read it so I can't comment on the update stability really. -Story seems rushed, and a little... Unrelatable? try putting some more depth to the characters, some emotional pizazz is also in need here. I would put some more stuff here, but I just couldn't find motivation to read more of this.

    altalt
    Draga of the Vanguard
    Urban · Critical_Kind
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Commented

    Advice: -if you are going to change the survivor count, change all mentions of it, it provides a point of dis-engagement as the world changes inexplicably outside of the notice of the reader. -The knights can be desperate, but if they take random kids off the street, they aren't knights, they are just soldiers. knights would recruit only adults and put through training Before travelling with them and getting into combat.

    Ch 2 Asfáleia
    altalt
    Draga of the Vanguard
    Urban · Critical_Kind
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Commented

    Try putting lines and spacing out the conversations, instead of walls of texts. For example: "Blah blah blah" said the man next to Rei, Rei turned as if in acknowledgment as the man continued "blah Blah Blah"

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Draga of the Vanguard
    Urban · Critical_Kind
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Commented

    So, some advice: -Try to flesh out the conversations, even in the first chapter I get the cardboard cutout slide show feel from this. -Get rid of the lines, they act as section breaks. In a story that's supposed to flow smoothly till the end of the chapter, it makes it short and choppier. Try using transitions, for example describe them riding, even so far as to make a conversation while they travel.

    Ch 1 The boy from Viel
    altalt
    Draga of the Vanguard
    Urban · Critical_Kind
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Posted

    Great quality, Dropped, Story was progressing could go a little faster though, Characters were vaguely 3d could use better conversations, World was in depth.

    altalt
    Werewolf Progenitor Chronicles
    Urban · SoySauceSovereign
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Posted

    Great Quality, Dropped, Story was going places, Characters were in my opinion well developed, the world background was great, but there weren't enough details.

    altalt
    UnderWorld Mafia System
    Urban · lllDarkCloudslll
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    Posted

    good story, Dropped harder than a brick. Other than that, it was a good start and very good potential. Of course, this was written with 12 chapters in so if there is more, they might've picked it up again.

    altalt
    Deadliest Mercenary in the Commonwealth
    Others · Author76
    detail