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Asplaim

Asplaim

Lv10

i adore books and have an unsatiable urge to find the hidden gems and authors who bring their stories to life. if u find my comments and disagree just take it as the ramblings of an npc :)

2021-04-23 JoinedAustralia
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  • Asplaim
    Asplaim2yr
    Replied to Asplaim

    forgot about the makeup of the world he is in is nonsensical and defies all laws of pyshics

    altalt
    The First Store System
    Fantasy · pinaka_
    detail
  • Asplaim
    Asplaim2yr
    Commented

    i have a question that hopefully be explained first how does the population deal with the increase in gravity from how big the planet is? second how do you have 11 suns lighing up the world all at one time the heat from them would burn the world to a crisp the orbit would be completely screwed and night and day wouldnt exist

    Ch 27 Primal stone
    altalt
    The First Store System
    Fantasy · pinaka_
    detail
  • Asplaim
    Asplaim2yr
    Replied to Asplaim

    if you have any qualms or things you disagree with in my reivew please reply after all conversation is the key of communication

    altalt
    I Hate Systems
    Fantasy · Overlord_Venus
    detail
  • Asplaim
    Asplaim2yr
    Posted

    lets start this off by disclaiming i am exposing my thoughts in this review and not trying to undermine the authors work. Now with that out of the way here are my thoughts, first the writing quality of the author he has a very active and creative mind which we can see through reading his novel. although he has this weird kink in his writing that most authors get caught up with which is showing instead of telling a story, through the novel it will become apparent that every characters inner thoughts become written out and shown to you (im not talking about the mental energy) although the author does do better on this in the later parts it is still prevalent. furthermore the conversations sometimes feel like their on rail tracks with it consisting of mc being explained something grasping it then the characters showing surprise at him grasping it rinse and repeat. Althought not from experience i have also seen complaints of info dumping as well aside from those three nuances the writing is superb and the author has alot of talent for writing and envisioning a novel. Next story development now this is slightly tricky however i can say without doubt the story overalls development is divine starting on earth then hunting systems across other planes is an uncommon thing in a novel i dont have any qualms about it. Next character design the wide array of characters does provide a feel of individuality the problem i mentioned earlier exists with the characters almost feel like their having pre planned and rehearsed conversations and in rare cases having unhumanlike reactions. along with the mc feeling a bit too omnipotent being able to dive into something and understand it getting a surprised reaction rinse and repeat.Next updating stability its completely fine no qualms. Last and final one world background the author manages to blend the story and world info together seamlessly allowing the reader to envision the subject while also having a large degree of freedom to customise the envisioned concept. all in all while not the best definitely up there in the top %

    altalt
    I Hate Systems
    Fantasy · Overlord_Venus
    detail
  • Asplaim
    Asplaim2yr
    Replied to Asplaim

    darlac sorry not darble

    Ch 24 Skipping
    altalt
    I Hate Systems
    Fantasy · Overlord_Venus
    detail
  • Asplaim
    Asplaim2yr
    Commented

    keep in mind i just woke up so this comment is going to be no where as long as my others however that does not mean i do not have some concerns and compliments. my main concern is on the main character and the queen it almost feels like their dialogue is mounted on rail tracks whatever she says he picks up and instantly absorbs with the queen then complimenting him rinse repeat but other than that and him starting to lean into being omnipotent the plot is indeed intriuging the introduction of "darble" not only has clear advantages and disadvantages to the mc only if he becomes powerful enough to take on the system holder by doing basic exercises i will be etremely dissapointed although i doubt that will happen still 4/5

    Ch 24 Skipping
    altalt
    I Hate Systems
    Fantasy · Overlord_Venus
    detail
  • Asplaim
    Asplaim2yr
    Replied to Overlord_Venus

    is there anything in what i wrote which u would like to expand upon or disagree with in my comments? after all conversation is key!

    Ch 11 The Queen
    altalt
    I Hate Systems
    Fantasy · Overlord_Venus
    detail
  • Asplaim
    Asplaim2yr
    Replied to Overlord_Venus

    thabk you for the clarification

    Ch 11 The Queen
    altalt
    I Hate Systems
    Fantasy · Overlord_Venus
    detail
  • Asplaim
    Asplaim2yr
    Commented

    although the problem i mentioned in my previous comment about showing/telling a story is still prelavent it seems the author has managed to slip into his groove although many may feel divulging all the infromation may be stupid or along those lines it shows how hes trusting too the queen enough to divulge it even if he is still portrayed poorly all in all nothing really new to comment other than the author is getting better and "into his groove" 4/5

    Ch 19 Advice and Sincerity
    altalt
    I Hate Systems
    Fantasy · Overlord_Venus
    detail
  • Asplaim
    Asplaim2yr
    Replied to Asplaim

    althought he does occasionally shift from showing and telling dont know if its purposefully or not

    Ch 11 The Queen
    altalt
    I Hate Systems
    Fantasy · Overlord_Venus
    detail
  • Asplaim
    Asplaim2yr
    Commented

    as i have previously gone over the system world in a previous comment (superficially) i will not dive into that amd instead turn towards my thoughts and concerns abput the approaching arc. the main concern of this novel is that the author is showing the novel instead of telling. much like how in a haunted house fear keeps you guessing what is going to happen next, not divulging information can lead to the reader guess whats next, summarily instead of showing that "the queen is interested" it can be instead told as "the queens eyes shimmered with thought although none can quite guess what goes through her mind" signifying it could be good or bad making blanks for the readers to think and engage over further drawing them into the story i hope the author clues in on this. now with that concern out of the way the way the novel is progressing steadily and i have high hopes 3.7/5 leave your thoughts in my replies

    Ch 11 The Queen
    altalt
    I Hate Systems
    Fantasy · Overlord_Venus
    detail
  • Asplaim
    Asplaim2yr
    Commented

    trying something and failing. its a simple thing but oddly enough most authors miss the importance and meaning of this. as a character goes through his cycle in the novel the best way to make a character feel alive ia through trial and error. now why am i bringing this up why certainly he suffered infact almost being assimilated by the system he got saved (very reasonable) but had the entire plot of the system the way back home and most likely in the next chapter how to deal with/kill systems revealed to him hence eliminating the trial and error that we humans so empathise with. so far 3.5/5

    Ch 3 Partial Truth
    altalt
    I Hate Systems
    Fantasy · Overlord_Venus
    detail
  • Asplaim
    Asplaim2yr
    Commented

    interesting premise, although its too early too judge, im hopeful that the author behind this can weave a story that resonates and fills the hearts of the readers while also avoiding going into a plateu of repetitive and sub meaningful "arcs" and depriving the story of its potential.

    Ch 2 Why? Hah!
    altalt
    I Hate Systems
    Fantasy · Overlord_Venus
    detail
  • Asplaim
    Asplaim2yr
    Commented

    thanks for another chapter :)

    Ch 124 Do Not Try This At Home (Redux)
    altalt
    The Good Teacher
    Fantasy · Junior_Sundar
    detail
  • Asplaim
    Asplaim2yr
    Posted

    i dont write reviews at all but im am awe inspired at how the author has somehow managed to encapsulate and grasp my heart and mind with this novel. to date i have never read a system novel that has been so thoroughly fleshed out with the characters feeling like actual human beings caught in a world of turmoil and the main character having to face himself and others to guide them. to put it bluntly theres a system which is quite literally a library and thats it, its not a cheat it doesnt do anything besides from store books hes (mc) has read before. speaking of the mc he kind compassionate and caring while not being ominpotent and has his own shares of troubles and turmoils. then theres the side characters i cannot describe each individually because of the plethra of different personalities that makes and defines them as human, while simultaneously stumbling and learning from mistakes. theres two things that make this novel slightly a slog is the info dumping in the beginning(which the author corrected after it being pointed out) and the enchantment mini arc which was two chapters of an infomercial other than that it was quite an enjoyable read

    altalt
    The Good Teacher
    Fantasy · Junior_Sundar
    detail