webnovel
avatar
0
fwjchim

fwjchim

Lv2

Author of Re:Servant. I began writing as a way to create a world I love. Please give me any criticism, thank you.

2023-02-04 JoinedGlobal
-d

Writing

2.4h

of reading

83

Read books

Badges

6

Moments

32
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Posted

    I’m not too familiar with this genre so I can’t really give a fair critique. What I can say though is that it’s definitely interesting in a good way. There were some punctuation problems but it was still readable. Continue writing!!!

    altalt
    Contract Marriage: In love with my boss
    Urban · Grace_Harley1
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Posted

    Reminds me of tbate in the beginning, but with the addition of truck kun, how can I not give this a 5? All jokes aside, the pacing is great and the story progression is smooth. I’m still in the beginning but right now it looks great. Keep writing!!! [img=update]

    altalt
    Arcane Innovator
    Fantasy · CosmicQuill
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Commented

    Mericuh 🦅🦅🦅

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Arcane Innovator
    Fantasy · CosmicQuill
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Commented

    TRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUCK KUUUUUUUUUUUN MY FAVORITE

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Arcane Innovator
    Fantasy · CosmicQuill
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Posted

    The plot is good but it was kinda difficult to read due to the large paragraphs. If I had to give advice, try to separate your dialogue between characters.

    altalt
    The Fantastic Five.
    Teen · Prajnya Shriyan
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Replied to fwjchim

    Forgot to mention I’m still in the beginning so if you’ve fixed the expressions then very nice 👍

    altalt
    ZuoMeng: To Dream
    History · Sereinchoo
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Posted

    It’s full of suspense and exciting events. Some grammar errors but almost all of the sentences read together nicely. When characters talk, some expression could be used like an exclamation point or question mark, not just a period. Overall very good!

    altalt
    ZuoMeng: To Dream
    History · Sereinchoo
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Replied to Sereinchoo

    There’s cases in the world where people are easy to win over when they’re given something they lack (like love). Fang is kinda like this, where he’s won over by Salika because she didn’t feel disgusted by him, but also because she gave him a new opportunity to restart.

    "I'll be under your care starting today, Salika," Fang proclaimed.
    altalt
    Re:Servant - At My Lowest, It's Only Up From Here
    Fantasy · fwjchim
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Replied to Sereinchoo

    I noticed this too in my writing but I was unsure on how to fix it. I’l definitely go back and edit with your advice.

    Fang stood up in his cage and grabbed the bars, gripping them intensely as if trying to rip them out. "You know nothing about me, fatass-"
    altalt
    Re:Servant - At My Lowest, It's Only Up From Here
    Fantasy · fwjchim
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Replied to Sereinchoo

    Salika definitely has her own reasons for making Fang her servant but I plan on revealing it later when the time is right for the both of them.

    Ch 4 I Give In, Your Words Ease Me
    altalt
    Re:Servant - At My Lowest, It's Only Up From Here
    Fantasy · fwjchim
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Replied to Sereinchoo

    I guess you could say the story is about Fang and overcoming his inner conflicts he sustained in the past. As of now in the beginning, he’s just trying to understand everything that’s going on. Before I began writing on webnovel I made the chapters 4k plus words, but tried to cut them as much as I can. ”Fate Bestows a White Haired Girl” and onwards are 1.5k-2.5k words thankfully. Thank you for your feed back and comments!

    altalt
    Re:Servant - At My Lowest, It's Only Up From Here
    Fantasy · fwjchim
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Replied to Sereinchoo

    When I was little my parents used to make me eat medicine that taste like sh** so this is where I got the idea from lol

    He looked at the brown pouch again. "The medicine doesn't look like it's stored properly either... Did you at the very least make sure a different drug wasn't swapped in? It could be dangerous."
    altalt
    Re:Servant - At My Lowest, It's Only Up From Here
    Fantasy · fwjchim
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Posted

    I hope you continue your journey with Fang in Re:Servant! I plan to have him change a lot throughout the story as events progress, so stick along to see. A lot of my inspiration comes from other works, like Re:Zero's dark plot, Jobless Reincarnation's unique characters, Hunter x Hunter's power system that seems so free, and much more. I'll try and post as many chapters as possible, but with school in the way, some chapters may take a few days to release (forgive me!).

    altalt
    Re:Servant - At My Lowest, It's Only Up From Here
    Fantasy · fwjchim
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Posted

    The first chapter by itself exceeded my expectations. Something I notice with a lot of webnovels is grammar and spelling issues but you have little to none. Something that really stuck with me was the main character Reimei. Maybe it’s their condition, but something in me wants to support her all the way. Conclusion: need more [img=update]

    altalt
    The Voidwalker's Tale: Fallen Paradise
    Fantasy · acebellrain
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Commented

    Already banger intro

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    The Voidwalker's Tale: Fallen Paradise
    Fantasy · acebellrain
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Posted

    There were some grammar errors but besides that the book was written quite well. I really like the premise behind it. [img=recommend]

    altalt
    I pretend
    Fantasy · Thephantomdreamer
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Posted

    I really enjoyed the world building and the uniqueness of characters. There were some spelling and grammar problems but those could be fixed easily. With your talent, please continue writing!

    altalt
    EDEN LOCKER 'S MAGUS SYSTEM {I-XI} And THE BLACK CREST FAMILY
    Fantasy · Ninestar619_5803
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Commented

    Jesus Christ 🤯

    [EXP: 1.9B]
    altalt
    EDEN LOCKER 'S MAGUS SYSTEM {I-XI} And THE BLACK CREST FAMILY
    Fantasy · Ninestar619_5803
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Commented

    “Where hungrt was torture and thirst was a slayer” pretty fire if you ask me 😎🔥

    However, there was a dreadful day for him. A day he never calculates or meets up with. Prisoned for eighty days in an underground dungeon where hunger was torture and thirst was a slayer, this Emperor didn't fall.
    altalt
    EDEN LOCKER 'S MAGUS SYSTEM {I-XI} And THE BLACK CREST FAMILY
    Fantasy · Ninestar619_5803
    detail
  • fwjchim
    fwjchim1yr
    Posted

    I really do see a similarity in our works! Your way of story telling creates a movie in my head almost—it’s very clear and easy to grasp. The plot is interesting as well, I would’ve never imagined an elf being isekai’d into our world to cosplay. Overall, keep up the good work! [img=recommend]

    altalt
    Another World Elf's Journey as my Little Sister and a Cosplayer
    Realistic · RyujiSakamata
    detail