Welcome back Bro. I was waiting for an update. Hope you can finish this book [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=update]

Desde que empeze a leer tuve la sensacion de haberlo leido en algun momento, comenze a buscar y resulta que esta ficcion es una copia palabra por palabra de Customa made by demon king. Asique autor, no sea desvergonzado y al menos de los créditos a quien se lo merece.

-Demasiados errores ortográficos -En algunos capítulos hablas de la importancia de los secretos, pero cuentas todo lo relacionado a tus poderes a tus padres... para mi eso es un gran No. Con la cantidad de seres que pueden leer la mente en ese mundo, da la impresión que simplemente no le importa su familia al contarles todo. - Usas mucho las estadisticas en cada capitulo. Mucho de lo escrito es Número y niveles del sistema. - Usas IA? - Creo firmemente que falta desarrollo de sus habilidades , el hecho de que empieze 15 años despues y solo pueda usar magia de viento... Es una falta de desarrollo en el esquema de magia que deseas usar. - Las relaciones se sienten monótonas, creo que es la falta de diálogo. - Veo que actualizas con frecuencia eso se aprecia. - Falta detallar la construcción del mundo y del entorno. Sería apropiado poner fechas y descripciones de donde se encuentra o localizaciones que faciliten al lector la inmersión a la lectura.

A novel full of metaphors, which unnecessarily complicate reading. You use this technique so much that the reading becomes heavy and generally hinders what you want to achieve, which in my opinion is that this novel is "interesting / attractive and has support from other readers". - The writing quality is excellent, with some almost imperceptible and minimal errors in semicolons. - A main character who tends to give the impression of someone chivalrous, educated and with the bearing of a noble, and I find him great but he's boring... More than 20 chapters have passed and nothing interesting has happened regarding him ( Not counting the first five chapters) , and so far no explanation of his motivations and what he wishes to achieve has been given. I think you have forgotten something important, you are in a universe full of action/events and you are writing what in my opinion is more of a romantic novel, since more than 10 chapters have been dedicated to his relationship with Ororo (She is great as Female Lead) but it's uninteresting, the dialogues are huge and he tends to ramble so much in his conversations that it becomes tedious. -The interactions with Tony and Shield were extremely interesting, it would be great to see their future interactions again. -I think there is an excess of dialogues and descriptions, that you have not been able to moderate, you have a tendency in each chapter to use this technique that you have not been able to balance properly, making reading tiring for the reader. -The upload speed seems constant and it's great that you're able to keep it that way. PS: In general, the novel is very good, I would recommend it to pass the time. [img=recommend] PDD: Keep in mind that the first 5 chapters were extremely attractive, but the speech and / or dialogues went on too long without anything significant or important happening in several later chapters.

I am really impressed with this Fiction, I love the quality of the chapters and the thought you put into it. -Almost no grammatical errors -Constant chapter upload - Background of the world/Story developed appropriately -Development of the characters (The fact that your characters are not passersby who disappear seems great to me) -The best thing so far is the amount of words per chapter.[img=update] PD: I sincerely hope you don't give it up with this fic.[img=recommend] [GOOGLE TRANSLATE]

A rather scattered fiction in reality. (Note that I only read up to chapter 30) - To summarize the protagonist: "I think of something difficult to do and I do it easily". -An important point is that the characters are not explicitly defined at any time, one must imagine how they are without including any description (Tip: this is a Harry Potter fic, which includes characters that grow while the school years go by and not here nothing is described). -In the first year it is only said that he gathers several books but his level of knowledge is not taken into account. Just creating that game should be a revolution for the wizarding world, as it includes: Mind and Consciousness Transference, runes, advanced wand lore (I think the game detects the owner's signature? or something similar), illusion, He transmits messages by means of the tablet (wouldn't this method replace owls?), advanced alchemy, transfiguration and then space magic (teleportation). -He is a protagonist capable of doing so many things and he is still in his first year, but nothing is explained, he just does it and one is left with so many doubts and questions. -His actions do not have any impact on the story, the characters only accept what he does, period. What are their reactions? What are the consequences of their actions? What is the real impact of your presence? Remember that just by existing everything should change. Example: The game he created giving experience not only to him, but also to his enemies (Keep in mind that just colliding with a person would change everything, like the domino effect). -Then there is the fact of saving Germioni and killing a troll as if he were crushing an ant. (Is he able to kill such strong creatures that fast at this point?) It's not explained... -The chapters are uploaded quite quickly from what I see so great. -There are grammatical errors but they are few. -The upload speed seems to be quite fast and regular. I hope this helps in some way, I will continue reading since it is not boring, in fact it is interesting, but still it has too many inconsistencies that it does not describe in the review [img=recommend]

I loved the first chapter with some pretty specific exceptions on my part. 1.-For example, getting nervous renting a room... for me it was very strange. Does that really happen to anyone? Being able to speak clearly with 3 Omnipresent, Omniscient and Omnipotent entities, but not being able to speak with the girl who sells houses is like WTF 2.- The harem is simply not for me, there is already a lot of garbage that I have read and simply reading a comment from the author about having plans for a Harem was a big No for me. 3.- Ultra naive and docile protagonist, which is reflected in chapter 2, his attitude towards Steve was simply too fanatical, he practically told him everything the second he met him, that is a big red flag and it was partly what made me leave him . 4.-I loved that the chapters are long. Although a lot of it is statistics. 5.-Your character doesn't feel monotonous, but you still express too many red flags to continue reading. 6.-Your grammar is quite good and it is understood even when I use a translator, it is a great point in favor. It's also nice that you're spending time deep in the world and developing it. PS: Good luck to the author, although the stories in which the protagonist usually tells his secrets and are extremely naive are not for me, there will still be people who like it including the harem.

Un fic que se actualiza constantemente. El fondo del mundo es extraño , no se dan explicaciones de muchas cosas que suceden. Trate de leerlo pero no pude seguir, la personalidad del MC lo hizo sinceramente imposible para mi. Es como si pensara que Batman y Superman fueran invencibles, lo cual me hace cuestionar su conocimiento de los cómic, olvidando que ahora se encuentra en una realidad. Otro punto que me dificulto la lectura fue su actitud hacia los héroes. El confia 100% en ellos sin ningún motivo solo por el hecho de haber leído una historieta. Otro punto importante es que tiene entrenamiento de espionaje, sigilo , etc pero no se refleja en la escritura. Es como si tuviera 10 años y sus experiencias previas se hubiesen esfumado. No es consistente con lo que se escribe en capítulos anteriores. Falta detallar el fondo del mundo, los personajes aparecen solamente y no hay niun cuestionamiento por su parte lo cual es extraño. La calidad de escritura y/o es bastante buena, en caso de que sea una traducción la oraciones tienen sentido y la gramatica es bastante buena.

Please author add the corresponding tags. As a reader I would like to know the genre of what I read or if it is appropriate for my tastes. Is this a yuri fanfic? Do you have smut? Bloody scenes? etc... that's all.

First I would like to clarify that this is a translation, I have read several comments where they imply that this is an original work (fanfic) by the author, when the reality is not. Name: Konoha: Make Uchiha Great Again Second, and as a personal experience with this novel, it has a tendency to show that the characters are dumber and less experiments than what is shown (anime), thus giving the impression that the MC is always right, which is extremely frustrating. So don't expect much, if you want to have a good time it's fine but the ending will disappoint you. Third, the translation is actually quite good, quite readable and you make it clear what you mean .[img=recommend]

Just for finishing it despite the setbacks that were in your way, you have my sincere thanks. I know for sure that you have encountered multiple problems throughout your writing (Time, Ideas related to the story, pressure from readers, etc.) but even so, just the fact of completing your story with an ending that I would call appropriate is greatly appreciated. I want to congratulate and thank you for such an interesting reading despite only being a fiction. I hope to continue reading your stories in the future, because I know for sure that you will continue to improve now and in the future. Giving thanks costs nothing and I personally appreciate your dedication to writting. Have a good day and good luck, bye. [Google translate]

20 chapters -I have read and so far the story is seriously lacking in dialogue between characters and relationship development after all, this fiction is one that focuses not only on survival but on the relationships that make up the group. Being that The Zombies are not fearsome enemies, they are slow, clumsy, they have no intention, they are that, living dead. Therefore, it remains to explain how this group goes through its transformation from a social group, to capable survivors (From "lambs to wolves"). -You do not develop remorse or conflict, whether ethical or moral, that a member may have when killing or ending another life (I understand it from your OC, he is a soldier, he has carried out missions and blah blah, etc, but the others do not ). -You also need to develop what happens with the already established relationships, after all you maintained the Rick/Shane/Lori relationship and it still hasn't been resolved, since this triangle caused several problems and tensions on the farm. Rick is not an idiot, he suspects it and it was implied in the series. Does he have an internal conflict that he needs to resolve in order to face Shane or not? - I hope you can write a little about hershel. He refuses to see them as non-human life forms, and his belief that zombies are nothing more than sick men and women prompts him to guard them in a barn near his home. -Another important character is Daryl who fights against his own tendency to brutality, closely linked to his relationship with his brother. There is no proximity to this character in the story, it is almost zero. There is no talk of his relationship with Carol and how she slightly changes his vision of why he is important to the group. - I feel like you're adding characters but not developing any and it's a bit sad since the series itself was about the transformation of the group to survive. -I have yet to see what happens with the information that Rick kept, how it was resolved, and how you handle the issue of those who still believe that they live in a society without facing the new reality (Lori). -Grateful for a fiction of this series since there are practically no fictions of this. PS: For me personally, the fact of putting "hershel and I talked" does not work, what happens, what do they talk about, how did you solve it. I think it is something extremely important in fictions of this type. PSS: I hope this is of some use, since I was trying to expose what until now I have not seen, I felt that everything moved extremely fast from the meeting with Rick to the farm.

-A rather confusing Fiction, with a poorly defined MC. To give an example, one minute you have the protagonist performing an action and the next he finds himself doing a different one, completely forgetting what he did at the beginning (it's confusing and exasperating). -The characters are not defined at any time, they are only named, they appear, they say something and that is all, the way to simplify this is that they only transit and do not live. (What happens with their relationships, it is not explained) -It is established in the first chapters that the more you act according to sin, the better score you will have and that your life will end at the end of the harry potter book. So what's the point of reading this, if he already fully accept that his life will end. (lack of development). -It is not explained what he knows and does not know (he fights a troll easily and kills him), what is his level of knowledge? -Your actions have no consequences and the butterfly effect is minimal. -It is confusing for the reader, constant changes happen and they are not explained since the story itself lacks an explanation, it is extremely generic. This particular point was what killed this fic for me. -Uff the protagonist's personality is... annoying? infuriating? annoying? To the point where just trying to read takes effort. -I will not say anything about the update, since it seems to be constant, which is a point in favor. Like the hashtag #NoHarem(Thank you) The story itself is confusing but you use the grammar rules appropriately. -I sincerely hope that your story improves and that you don't take this in any way personally (I tried to simplify points that made it difficult for me to read and that I found uncomfortable as I was reading) PS: Why did you try to turn it into a Chinese fic... with Sect Techniques (Azura sect and phoenix sect ) *Facepalm* [GOOGLE TRANSLATE]

Not a bad start but rather crude, but still keeps it interesting to a certain extent. On the other hand, what bothers me a lot are the author's notes. One moment you find yourself reading a section and the next there are author's notes at the beginning, middle and end of the chapter, which I see as totally unnecessary. One as a reader wants to achieve a certain degree of immensity when reading, but this is hindered by the author's constant tirade. As for the updates, they seem constant, which is a plus. The story is a bit meaningless in a few sentences occasionally, but you get what it means. The characters are quite AU, but still to some extent you manage to capture the essence of some. I feel that the description of the places where they are located and the context of the space is missing a bit, but is still ok. At the beginning the main character gets lost a bit but then in later chapters he resumes his role as the main character. I think of this as something necessary to give a background to the character, which is a plus. [GOOGLE TRANSLATE]

I loved your fiction so far. Especially that introduction, Synopsis or whatever you want to call it, where you explain what you want to achieve or how much you want to expand this Universe in terms of the beings or entities that inhabit it (especially the inconsistencies that exist in TV Show with respect to existences such as Angels and demons). It seems to me a point in favor since only with this little information we know what to expect from this reading. Good vocabulary or Lexicon, and good use of grammatical rules. So far it is coherent and it makes sense what you are looking to express and you keep it interesting. You develop the characters properly (At least for now), you are quite meticulous and detailed from what I can tell when describing situations, places and interactions between characters (This last one surprised me a bit) PD: One is so used to the garbage that is uploaded on this site with wish fulfillments and similar things that one generally does not expect to find good fiction. So I admit that I was surprised to find something like this. I wonder if the quality will maintain or if this story will be abandoned as it usually happens. [Google Translate]

I don't know what to think of this fic. I honestly hate it when they manipulate the mC from the start. -He was taken from his world without consent -Thrown into an orphanage since childhood -Memories erased -A dangerous world where he is supposed to be part of a prophecy. -Family, friends, love? Who knows what he had in his previous life, but having all of that suddenly taken away from you should be painful. -Of more than 100 new students, he meets germiony... To be honest, with all this background, hating Aslan would be natural. But I feel that the fic is heading elsewhere, where he will be a puppet of the "supposed destiny", and will fulfill exactly what Aslan wants. PS: I grew up in an orphanage and believe me I always hated the people who put me in that place. That is why my opinion may be a bit biased towards rancor and hatred. So I wouldn't understand if he could easily forgive those who put him there. - The writing quality is very good, I would say that it is much higher than your other fic.

The story isn't bad, but the plot holes are huge... Why is Sirius looking for Horrocrux? How did he find out? you skipped most of the dialogue and conversations that should be part of the story. Did they question your knowledge of why you know about horcruxes? Also, it seems that there was a kind of pause on the part of the author of 6 months? and then there are only incompressible jumps in time where things happen that are not reported, leaving much of what happens to the imagination... Bruh I don't mind the fluff but I think focusing on those huge plot holes would make the most sense.

Protagonista que procede a acostarse con medio mundo mientras mantiene una relación ...Bruh 6% Historia 94%Sexo y coqueteo con múltiples chicas... *Sigh*

This chapter needs work. Hardly a common person with a knife could take down a sequence 7 even more so if he's a werewolf. You completely removed a beyonder's senses only for this to end in the half-death of Tames.

Fue difícil para mi seguir leyendo. Tantos OC , que en un punto dejo de tener sentido para mí. 1.-Peter perdiendo contra matones comunes? Extraño, esta escena pudo ser escrita de otra forma , como el fingiendo perder apropósito o algo similar. 2.-Baloncesto... 3.-Emocionalmente demasiado inestable. No parece tener ninguno de los antecedentes que expusiste (militar). Actúa como un niño la mayor parte del tiempo. 4.-las interacciones son demasiado extrañas entre adolescentes. 5.- Múltiples Transmigradores. Esto en parte mató la historia para mí. Tú personaje perdió en parte lo que lo hacía especial. 6.-Te olvidaste totalmente del mundo en el que estás, es marvel, y por lo tanto se espera acción o algo similar. Pero se vuelve aburrido y monótono. 7.- Se describe a Peter como un personaje con Alto IQ , y lo tienes jugando basquetball... cuando fácilmente podría desarrollar tecnología de tu mundo (En algunos capítulos expusiste el hecho de que la tecnología actual era inferior a tu mundo). Siendo honesto no tenía problemas con que desarrollarás el mundo y lo construyeras lentamente pero era sumamente aburrido y tedioso. Aún así le deseo la mejor de las suertes en los que está tratando de escribir.