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Review Detail of IINeeRoII in HP: Lord Of Seven Sins

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IINeeRoII
IINeeRoIILv18mthIINeeRoII

A rather scattered fiction in reality. (Note that I only read up to chapter 30) - To summarize the protagonist: "I think of something difficult to do and I do it easily". -An important point is that the characters are not explicitly defined at any time, one must imagine how they are without including any description (Tip: this is a Harry Potter fic, which includes characters that grow while the school years go by and not here nothing is described). -In the first year it is only said that he gathers several books but his level of knowledge is not taken into account. Just creating that game should be a revolution for the wizarding world, as it includes: Mind and Consciousness Transference, runes, advanced wand lore (I think the game detects the owner's signature? or something similar), illusion, He transmits messages by means of the tablet (wouldn't this method replace owls?), advanced alchemy, transfiguration and then space magic (teleportation). -He is a protagonist capable of doing so many things and he is still in his first year, but nothing is explained, he just does it and one is left with so many doubts and questions. -His actions do not have any impact on the story, the characters only accept what he does, period. What are their reactions? What are the consequences of their actions? What is the real impact of your presence? Remember that just by existing everything should change. Example: The game he created giving experience not only to him, but also to his enemies (Keep in mind that just colliding with a person would change everything, like the domino effect). -Then there is the fact of saving Germioni and killing a troll as if he were crushing an ant. (Is he able to kill such strong creatures that fast at this point?) It's not explained... -The chapters are uploaded quite quickly from what I see so great. -There are grammatical errors but they are few. -The upload speed seems to be quite fast and regular. I hope this helps in some way, I will continue reading since it is not boring, in fact it is interesting, but still it has too many inconsistencies that it does not describe in the review [img=recommend]

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HP: Lord Of Seven Sins

PsionicMind

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PsionicMind
PsionicMindAuthorPsionicMind

Hey, that's actually a great review. Thank you. Maybe I should have explained a bit more and taken some time and a few extra chapters doing it. (He doesn't know space magic yet. it's just their consciousness being transferred into the wooden puppets.) He is proficient in Runes and Transfiguration and Alchemy by the time half of the 1st year is done but the other subjects, not so much. yet. I'm glad you liked it though. The butterfly effects will slowly take place as time passes. Just because they can duel, it doesn't mean they'll get too strong fast. I'm writing this to improve myself so your review has been of great help. I cannot change the starting chapters since it'll be unfair to my early readers but I will do my best to fix the faults from now on.