Definelty my favorite story so far on this plat form. It’s just my opinion and I think this story deserves it so far.

No worries I’m just trying to make it a worth while read I have no plans to give up on it.

I like the idea, but I’ve already given him his wings I could try to work it into a different plot point maybe, but that would be spoilers thanks for reading.

Heres the reveiw I’ve enjoyed it so far thank you.

True, but I don’t see the qunari killing a potential weapon over him being disrespectful, also that’s just going to be how he speaks, for now, it will change a little over time from experience but he’s young right now, and unless he respects them he won't talk to them with respect. Thanks for reading and any tips are appreciated as I’m trying to get better.

Thanks I’ll try it out next chapter

Thank you for your review and I appreciate your advice.

I was tryinging to make it to where it comes to him naturally, but now that I think into it deeply your right and i’ll try my best to improve on it,there might be a rewrite for the story once I improve this was just supposed to be my first try at writing thank you for your feedback

I see where your coming from, I’ll try my best to improve on it thank you for the reveiw and tips.

Ahem yea my prologue was my first time trying to start a story so you saing iffy is better than my own rating of it. In my opinion the later chapters are better.

Hmm if i’m being honest I forgot about it for awhile but yea that’s a great idea thank you

Thanks for calling it decent appreciate it and I’ll try my best with the romance when he actually meets Josephine.

Yea I was thinking her x mc the only main reason I added an option for an oc was because of the age difference but, I don think its a huge problem in that age.

What I meant to say is i’ll try my best to subtly explain it through those flashbacks

I mean if I do that it would be like PTSD flashbacks like him and his family escaping to from denrim or him watching a person teared apart and blighted and trying my best to subt exlplain what happe through them but I like your idea. I’ll try it out and see what I can do.

I mean I wouldn’t call my writing good but, I’m trying to get better with it and in the new chapter the mc is 15 and his sister is 10 almost 11

I don ’t know i would prefer to know yalls opinion on if you want on because I could make the next chapter about that or a new chapter about comquring another city and getting in contact with the new inquisitor

To continue on the point of corypheaus I want to make him a worthwhile villian instead of a man who attcks haven once just to move onto do basically nothing in retaliation or make anymoves against you again

I want to start around inquisition but spice up the story more and actually make corypheus an active villian who is decent and then put into motion my own ending for the series once I’m done with solace