Thank you very much!

I love the description! With how bad the years has been, this is like what reality looks like now.

There should be another single quotation mark at the end, unless the next sentence is a part of this sentence. If so, the author just need to space it back together, so that it form one sentence, and not two separate one.

Suggestion one: ' The kingdom around it call the forest 'The Land Of No Return' because the deeper you go, the more dangerous it gets. Suggestion two: 'The kingdom situated around the forest called it 'The Land Of No Return.' Fore the deeper you go in, the more dangerous it gets.

No need to put commas between him and under. Instead, of using commas I suggest the author to use 'and' and then place a commas between voice and but.

'at the guardian' not sure if the author wrote it wrong, but should it be 'in the garden'?

The story starts with an interesting hook, it tug at my heart when the author wrote in great details about the emotions and desperations of people living in such a daunting life. And yes, what I say about the hook is good, but in regard to the score I given I felt that the story can improve. First and foremost, the writing quality, it's good, but need a lot of attention. There were sentences that needs pronouns, and some that need to be reworded. There were two to three words that I think the author has miss spelled. Also commas and quotation marks that are needed and aren't needed is a common issue I found. For the author, I point out two to three issue I found with comments in the story. Contrary to the writing quality, I gave the story development, and character design a four star because the story is still in progress. There wasn't much information given regarding the main character. Yes, there were a bit of description about the main character and his living situation. But I felt like I need more information to grasp the characteristic of main character; his personality, actions, emotions, skills, etc. all of which that makes him the protagonist of the story. As for world background, it's a bit different from the character design. There are details, but a bit vague. Chapter one seem to give reader an insight of the story setting, but at the same time also throw a bit of mystery. It kind of makes me want to rush the author the release the more chapters. I really want to know what kind of world is this!......I read the tags, ahem was not prepared to see that it is different from what I expect, lol. Author that's not the way you describe it in the story! I thought is was a war-fantasy kind of world background. Lol, well then I hope that the author will updates more and further explain the world background in future chapters. All in all, a good read. Author, continue on with the updates! I gave you a five for that [img=recommend]!

The story starts of with an interesting hook, creating a mysterious riddle to be solve. I don't want to spoil anyone, so I'll minimize the amount of details from the story. But in regard, to the mysterious riddle I'm talking about, one should look at the end of the prologue. I assume that the author is trying to say something regarding this character dead. When I was reading the story, I felt that the writing quality can be improve. There were a few commas that I found to be place in the wrong place or does not need commas at all. Aside from that, transitions-wise, and spelling looks good. As for the reason why I gave four stars to characters design, and world background is that there's not a lot details regarding these topics. First, for character design, Even thought the author did gave out some details regarding how the main character Kaylee look like, I feel like it was a bit lacking. But I'll say that for Jazz, her action and the way she talk made me think of Regina from Mean Girls. And for others characters so far, I know that it might take up a bit more time for the author to get to the plot, if she try to describe every characters. But I think the author should, for those characters that are essential to the story. However, one thing that I would say about the emotions presented in the story is that it is very good! Great descriptions! As for world background, I didn't know that it was going to be a werewolf plus modern setting until chapter 2 title. I think it would be good for the author to at least, somewhere in Chapter one explain a bit about the the werewolf world for those reader that are new to the genre. In overall, good story! And for the author: You are doing great! Happy writing!

I think the author did well in developing his/her characters. But I can see some room more improvement. I think a bit more description than dialogues would be good. As for writing quality, I did find in two to three sentence that I feel can be reword differently for better reading flow. Other than everything seem fine. In regard to world background, like I said before more descriptions is need. I would love to know more about the story's world. Since there's a princess, will there be magic, any magical creatures, or interesting settings? As the story is still in progress, I think from the latest chapters so far, the story is good. It's also going at a good pace, not too fast or slow. Also of now, with the latest chapter in, I see a cliffhanger occurring. Can't wait till they switch! And last words of encouragement to the author: You are doing great! Keep writing awesomely!

I think this is the first time I read a novel that have good spacing between paragraphs, and italic words! Author, whatever magic you did, do tell, lol?! Well, then first I will talk about the writing quality. Which in this case is definitely not an issue. There's little to no grammar mistake. But I did find, one to two sentence that sound kind of weird. I think it's just the way the author worded her/his sentence. As for world background, somehow, I was expecting more information about it within the first to three chapters. But it took awhile, in chapter 11 and onward for the world background to become clearer. As for character design, I think the author did threw the reader, me, in a scramble. Since at the beginning the author did not use the main character name. Instead, the author use the term 'woman' to refer to the main character, and even her face is cover. But I assume, the author did it for reasons such as suspense, mystery, and for later purpose. Onward to story development, the pacing is not fast nor slow, except, for the romance...lol, I think for me it's kind of slow. But I feel like the romance is not a big part of the novel, just sometime to sweeten it. As for the main focus is probably on the main character, Scarlette's past as the author obviously stated: "What is the secret behind her name" and her journey. Lastly, update. I didn't see the author note in comment or synopsis his/her schedule. Which I think will attract more reader if the author does have one. But in overall, great job! Keep up the good work! Fighting!

In regard to what the author need to work on the most, and issues that I found in the novel are mainly grammars, punctuation, and spelling issues. From the beginning to the latest chapters, I found a lot of words that were spell incorrectly or that the words doesn't match the intention of the sentence. As for punctuation, there some sentence in paragraphs that I found needed period more than commas, and vice versa. For the author I did two to three examples with give in-comments suggestions. But I think the author should go back and reread (edit) the chapters again because almost to, but not all chapters had more than three to four grammar issues. But not to be discourage, not all author are grammar-free. No matter how good a novel is, at least one to two reader will probably find mistaken somewhere. As for the story development, and character design. I think the author did well in pacing between bring in new characters and describing the setting despite their given names. I wonder how does the author came up with names for his/her characters and settings( city, town, object, etc.) very creative indeed. Finally, for world background I was debating if the world is a modern futuristic world with magic, or an old time (ancient) world with magic. Not sure, but it was surprising to read to a part that seem to modern, but is not. In overall, the author did great in setting the novel in a way that pull the reader in. However, grammars and spelling mistake is the thorn on the side that probably makes it hard for reader to stay. But nonetheless, keep up the good work. Fighting!

'technically' I assumed instead of 'technology'

'secred' I assume is suppose to be 'secured' suggestion: Once the necklace was secured, and bag was packed she walked over to Victor, who had created a vast green vortex of green lightning. Emma slowly walked through it, watching the Bridge of Reality disappear before her eyes. I don't why, but for some reason, the sentence still seem weird to me. Another suggestion: Once the necklace was secured with her bag packed and ready. Emma walked over to Victor, who had already created a vast green vortex of green lighting. She slowly follow behind him as they walk into the vortex. Emma turn to gave a last look at the Bridge of Reality, which soon disappear before her eyes.

Period after 'nodded'

Period between 'weapons' and 'a sword' If not, it will be a run-on sentences. A bit too long, and wordy to read in one breath.

The story is still a work in progress, with an interesting world background and characters. From the chapters so far, I think the author tends to focus a bit more on building the world background than any other elements. In addition to that, when I read the 'history lesson prologue' it feels like I'm reading an informative page. Which to me is an excellent way for reader to go back in case they are confuse on something in the novel. As for characters, I think its the way how the main character is treat and how he response to the way he was treat that seem rather sad. Added his past to the mix, and it's like an emotional rollercoaster. In overall, nothing seem to be amiss at the moment, but one thing I would like to touch upon is the writing quality. It's good, but can be improve. I think grammar wise, the author doing pretty good. But in a few paragraphs that I read, I think some of the vocab used can be replace with another for a better sentence flow. Other than that I think the author is doing great, so keeping going! Fighting!

I don't think you need to have a comma between 'figure' and 'was', also instead of putting a comma between ' remember' and 'the' a period might be better. There also a few area that needs comma too, For example: ' At the same time, this lithe figure was currently examining the thousands of corpses of the peak experts of various race, that had pursed her for as long as she could remember. The area around her own self was extremely eerie. It had a similarity to the deepest levels of the abyss.

First I'll talk about the author's writing quality. I think the author did well, but can improve. There a lot of paragraphs that uses commas, whereas it should be place with a period. For the author I'll do an in-comment examples of what I'm talking about. Also, I did find a few run-on sentences, and for that I have a tip for the author. Which is for he/her to read out loud any big paragraphs, and if the author read without stopping or take a breath. The author should put a period or a comma depending on the type of sentence. Onward to story development, and world background, I felt like the author work on these two topic more than the other. At the beginning it's was all about describing the setting and what took place. But the author did bring in characters soon into the scene, but with...*Ahem, good description regarding the female lead appearance. Then later the introduction of the male lead, I assume Dante is the male lead for now, unless I' mistaken. In regard to him. I don't think I hate or like his character. He kind of like a loudmouth, but someone who can keep quiet when situation calls for it. In this case it does. As the story is still in progress, I think more chapters will better improve his image. So a last few words of encouragement for the author: You're doing great! Keep up the good work.

Starting off the writing quality is good, the only issue I found is that the author use commas a bit too much ( I also have the same problem) I think in paragraphs where there are more than five to six commas. The author can break these up into two separate sentences. One thing that I want to say, which is not a writing problems is that the chapters are wordy. I know that the author wants express and describe each setting and characters well, but for some reader it's a bit harsh on the eyes. Especially, if you are reading on a laptop or computer. The space between sentences and paragraphs are not as space out as I, a reader and author would like. Technically, it's not the author fault, but webnovel. For story development, I think the story is going at a steady pace. Not to fast or to slow. I especially like the prologues, it was very interesting. And the first questions that pop out of mind head when I finish reading the prologues, is wonder where the child and key are. But the author kept it pretty tight, not revealing all at once of their location and what happens to the them. As for the world background, I think is was clear that it's a world of magic. At first I thought is was a medieval world with magic, but the more I read it's was starting to sound modernish. It may have been due to the prologues. And in the prologues, incantation magic was introduce, then time travel. however further on in the chapters there wasn't magic much shown. I think the author is slowly introducing it to the readers, especially through the main character, who at this stage doesn't know who she is. Or as the author stated in her 'note' there might be more than one lead. In overall, I appreciate the author 'info' page which give answer to a few question regarding the story background. But I assume it probably left many reader with more questions than answer. As for Character design, I think the author describe well enough for me to be able to visual them. But I think the amount of characters the author introduce so far is a lot. At some point is was kind of hard to keep up which characters is which. I think if the author made a page note detailing the different characters in the story. It would be very helpful. And last but not least, updates. The author didn't say or have a schedule written, so I'm not sure, but to give a four star since I saw that the latest chapter is no more than three day go, compare to the release of the last previous chapters. So hoping the author is planning to release a new chapter within this week or maybe next. And as a last words of encouragement for the author: You are doing great! keep up the good work!

The second sentences, I suggest something like this: ' His brows tense as he tries to act lowkey when lecturing his little brother. But at the moment, it feels like society are chaining him to stop' - I'm not sure about the part ' society felt like chains stopping him' but in another way I think the author can use another kind of similes or change it entirely, for examples: ' His brows tense as he tries to act lowkey when lecturing his little bother. However, at this moment it feels like his hands are being handcuffed and his mouth muffled, as society tries to stop him.'