Review Detail of Sun23 in Monarch of the Divine

First I'll talk about the author's writing quality. I think the author did well, but can improve. There a lot of paragraphs that uses commas, whereas it should be place with a period. For the author I'll do an in-comment examples of what I'm talking about. Also, I did find a few run-on sentences, and for that I have a tip for the author. Which is for he/her to read out loud any big paragraphs, and if the author read without stopping or take a breath. The author should put a period or a comma depending on the type of sentence. Onward to story development, and world background, I felt like the author work on these two topic more than the other. At the beginning it's was all about describing the setting and what took place. But the author did bring in characters soon into the scene, but with...*Ahem, good description regarding the female lead appearance. Then later the introduction of the male lead, I assume Dante is the male lead for now, unless I' mistaken. In regard to him. I don't think I hate or like his character. He kind of like a loudmouth, but someone who can keep quiet when situation calls for it. In this case it does. As the story is still in progress, I think more chapters will better improve his image. So a last few words of encouragement for the author: You're doing great! Keep up the good work.