Review Detail of Sun23 in Fate; Unlasting

Starting off the writing quality is good, the only issue I found is that the author use commas a bit too much ( I also have the same problem) I think in paragraphs where there are more than five to six commas. The author can break these up into two separate sentences. One thing that I want to say, which is not a writing problems is that the chapters are wordy. I know that the author wants express and describe each setting and characters well, but for some reader it's a bit harsh on the eyes. Especially, if you are reading on a laptop or computer. The space between sentences and paragraphs are not as space out as I, a reader and author would like. Technically, it's not the author fault, but webnovel. For story development, I think the story is going at a steady pace. Not to fast or to slow. I especially like the prologues, it was very interesting. And the first questions that pop out of mind head when I finish reading the prologues, is wonder where the child and key are. But the author kept it pretty tight, not revealing all at once of their location and what happens to the them. As for the world background, I think is was clear that it's a world of magic. At first I thought is was a medieval world with magic, but the more I read it's was starting to sound modernish. It may have been due to the prologues. And in the prologues, incantation magic was introduce, then time travel. however further on in the chapters there wasn't magic much shown. I think the author is slowly introducing it to the readers, especially through the main character, who at this stage doesn't know who she is. Or as the author stated in her 'note' there might be more than one lead. In overall, I appreciate the author 'info' page which give answer to a few question regarding the story background. But I assume it probably left many reader with more questions than answer. As for Character design, I think the author describe well enough for me to be able to visual them. But I think the amount of characters the author introduce so far is a lot. At some point is was kind of hard to keep up which characters is which. I think if the author made a page note detailing the different characters in the story. It would be very helpful. And last but not least, updates. The author didn't say or have a schedule written, so I'm not sure, but to give a four star since I saw that the latest chapter is no more than three day go, compare to the release of the last previous chapters. So hoping the author is planning to release a new chapter within this week or maybe next. And as a last words of encouragement for the author: You are doing great! keep up the good work!