webnovel

Cosmic Janitor

A man on a hospital bed was offered a job by a god. Said god introduced himself as a "god of amusement and entertainment." The man unhesitatingly accepted; what was the reason? He was bored. Having lived his life to the literal fullest—parachuting, skydiving, racing, boxing, and other adrenaline-pumping activities—left him exactly in his condition—a crippled, sick, BUT bored man in his middle thirties.  Join him in his wild adventures as he battles devils, zombies, and all sorts of crazy stuff you can dream up while lying in bed. Updates: It depends on my workload. Also, on my cat's mood. Suggestions: I've got some "worlds" planned, but feel free to suggest a game or anime world that needs some serious "cleaning." Disclaimer: The characters mentioned are not mine, except the OCs. Especially the Book Cover.

ChrisTian3421 · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
71 Chs

Big Boi Squidward II

(Third-person POV)

Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, Aquaman, Aqualad, Hawkman, Hawkwoman, and several Atlanteans were embroiled in a relentless struggle against the Stardust Pillar and its seemingly endless hordes of mobs. The water churned with chaotic energy, reflecting the intensity of the battle.

Aquaman, brandishing his trident, commanded the sea creatures to join the fray. "Stay sharp! We can't let these things overrun us!" he shouted, his voice steady despite the tumult around him.

Aqualad, wielding his water-bearer weapons, formed powerful constructs to repel the relentless Stardust Cells and Flow Invaders. "We've faced worse! Keep pushing!" he encouraged his comrades.

Hawkman and Hawkwoman soared above the fray, their maces striking down enemies with deadly precision. Hawkman dodged a barrage of projectiles, smashing a Star Cell into oblivion. "These things just keep coming!" he grumbled.

Hawkwoman, deftly maneuvering through the onslaught, replied, "Then we keep fighting! No letting up!"

The Atlanteans, with their unique underwater weaponry, fought valiantly beside their king. Giant squids and sea serpents clashed with ethereal mobs, adding to the surreal underwater battleground. The Stardust Pillar loomed ominously, its barrier pulsating with otherworldly energy, drawing the mobs to defend it fiercely.

Back at the Watchtower, Batman observed the unfolding battle with a keen eye. "The Stardust Pillar is fiercely defended. They're holding their ground for now," he noted, his tone calm but intense.

Wonder Woman, standing beside him, watched the screens intently. "Aquaman and his team will push through. They always do."

"Let's hope so," Batman replied. "Every second counts."

Aquaman's voice crackled through the earpiece, "We're making headway, but we need to focus our efforts on that pillar! Aqualad, Hawkman, Hawkwoman—coordinate your attacks!"

Aqualad, summoning a massive water construct in the form of a hammer, nodded. "On your command, my king!"

Hawkman and Hawkwoman readied their weapons, prepared to strike in unison.

"Now!" Aquaman commanded.

With synchronized precision, they launched a devastating assault on the Stardust Pillar. The barrier began to crack under the sustained pressure, its energy flickering erratically.

"Almost there! Keep up the pressure!" Aquaman urged.

But the mobs intensified their assault, seemingly endless in number. Star Cells and Twinkle Poppers swarmed them, while Flow Invaders and Milkyway Weavers attacked with renewed ferocity. The team fought tirelessly, cutting down wave after wave.

"We're being overwhelmed!" Aqualad shouted, slicing through a cluster of Flow Invaders.

"We're close! Just a little more!" Hawkman responded, smashing through another wave of Star Cells.

Finally, with a resounding crack, the barrier around the Stardust Pillar shattered, exposing its vulnerable core. The mobs faltered, their connection to the pillar weakened.

"Finish it!" Aquaman bellowed.

Hawkman and Hawkwoman swooped in, delivering the final blows that caused the Stardust Pillar to implode. The remnants of the mobs dissipated, the ocean returning to an eerie calm.

"We did it," Aqualad panted, catching his breath amidst the wreckage.

Aquaman nodded, surveying the aftermath. "Excellent work, everyone. Now, let's regroup and prepare for the next phase."

Back at the Watchtower, Batman allowed himself a small, satisfied smile. "The Stardust Pillar is down. One more step forward."

"Good," Wonder Woman said. "Let's hope the others will fare just as well."

The battle in the Pacific Ocean was a grueling victory, a testament to their resilience and strength. But the war against the Moon Lord was far from over.

.

.

.

.

With the Stardust Pillar now gone, an ominous message reverberated across the planet: "Impending doom approaches..." The chilling words echoed in the minds of Earth's inhabitants, sparking mass hysteria.

"Flash, do damage control. All heroes, spread out to your designated areas and evacuate civilians ASAP," Batman commanded. Several heroes nodded in agreement, swiftly moving to their stations.

Batman then addressed Superman, Dr. Fate, and me via earpiece. "Prepare for the Moon Lord. If it spawns in a populated area, the nearest one will engage immediately. If not, regroup and head to its location."

We all acknowledged with firm affirmations.

.

.

.

.

(Katsuo POV)

Back in China, I worked frantically to calm the panicked civilians. I spotted a little girl crying, lost amidst the chaos. Not knowing Mandarin, I did my best to comfort her, gesturing and speaking softly. "It's okay, we'll find your mommy," I assured her, hoping my tone would convey the message.

She clung to me, her tears beginning to slow. I zip zapped through the frantic crowd, carrying her, scanning for any sign of her family. Despite my limited language skills, my presence seemed to bring a small measure of comfort to those around me. My half-devil nature meant I lacked the universal language abilities of full devils, but I made do.

Finally, amidst the chaos, I found her mother, who had been desperately searching for her daughter. Their tearful reunion brought a brief moment of peace amidst the turmoil. I smiled, feeling a sense of accomplishment.

The earpiece crackled again. "Stay vigilant," Batman's voice cut through the noise. "The Moon Lord could appear any moment."

I took a deep breath, steeling myself for the battle ahead. The mass hysteria around me was a stark reminder of the stakes. I continued to zip zap through the crowds, helping calm the frantic populace as best I could. My thoughts raced, anticipating the imminent confrontation with the Moon Lord.

The ground began to shake, and an eerie light filled the sky. The Moon Lord's presence was imminent. I clenched my fists, ready to face whatever horrors lay ahead.

"Everyone, prepare yourselves," Batman's voice was a steady anchor in the chaos. "This is it."

With the little girl safely reunited with her mother, I focused my energy, adrenaline surging.

.

.

.

.

"Sir, a strong energy signature has been spotted in Osaka, Japan," Alfred informed Batman.

Batman clicked his tongue and said, "Katsuo, get to Japan ASAP." His voice was laced with urgency. "You two, get there ASAP," he added, addressing Dr. Fate and Superman.

"Copy," I said, then zipped towards Japan, my body crackling with fiery lightning.

As I arrived in Osaka, chaos unfolded before me. Buildings were being obliterated by Phantasmal Deathrays, and Phantasmal Bolts targeted innocent civilians. The scene was horrifying—people lay sprawled on the ground, clutching their heads in agonizing pain from merely witnessing the Moon Lord.

The Moon Lord towered above, a monstrous half-body with multiple eyes on its head and an eye in each palm. Its presence was overwhelming.

In my panic, I asked Batman for instructions, forgetting the 'immediately engage' command. "What do I do?!" I shouted, my voice clearly hysteric.

"Engage immediately!" Batman shouted back. "Flash will be there any moment." His voice was stern yet comforting.

Without answering, I unsheathed my Adamantine Tachi, cladding myself in lightning and fire. I squatted, facing the Moon Lord head-on. The weight of the task before me felt immense, but I steeled myself.

Drawing upon my training and experiences, I launched myself at the Moon Lord with a fierce determination. My Adamantine Tachi slashed through the air, cutting at the Phantasmal Bolts and pushing forward.

As I closed the distance, I could feel the Moon Lord's oppressive presence bearing down on me. Its eyes glowed with a malevolent energy, each one a portal to a different horror. I had to stay focused, to block out the fear and the memories of past battles that threatened to overwhelm me.

"Focus, Katsuo," I muttered to myself, reinforcing my resolve.

With a mighty leap, I slashed at the Moon Lord's hand, aiming for the eye in its palm. My blade crackled with the combined power of fire and lightning, searing through its monstrous flesh. The Moon Lord let out a guttural roar, its Phantasmal Deathray momentarily diverted.

I could hear Batman's voice in my earpiece, steadying me. "Keep going, Katsuo. Help is on the way."

Summoning every ounce of strength and skill, I continued my assault. The Moon Lord retaliated with relentless ferocity, but I dodged and countered with precision, using my Shunpo to zip around its attacks.

The ground beneath me shook as the Moon Lord's enormous form shifted, but I pressed on. I was determined to hold my ground until reinforcements arrived.

Dodging the Moon Lord's Phantasmal Deathray and other deadly attacks, I felt the oppressive aura of its 'Eldritch Horror' seeping into my mind. The grotesque, otherworldly presence was enough to drive anyone mad, but thanks to the "Glimpses" I had endured, the pain was barely noticeable.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Flash arrive. He was clearly affected, his usually confident demeanor marred by a visible struggle. He focused solely on rescuing civilians, grimacing as he fought through a massive headache.

Superman and Dr. Fate then arrived on the scene. Superman, ever the beacon of hope, immediately went into damage control, whisking away civilians and providing a sense of order amidst the chaos. Dr. Fate, with his mystical prowess, began kiting the Moon Lord towards a more desolate area, ensuring the battle wouldn't cause further destruction in the densely populated city.

"Katsuo, keep it up!" Superman shouted as he flew by, his voice steady despite the chaos.

Dr. Fate, hovering in the air, chanted incantations that glowed with otherworldly energy, creating barriers and distractions to keep the Moon Lord at bay. "We need to relocate this fight. Follow my lead," he instructed, his voice echoing with arcane power.

I nodded, focusing my attacks on driving the Moon Lord towards the outskirts of Osaka. Each strike of my Adamantine Tachi was precise, a blend of fire and lightning that cut through the Moon Lord's defenses. The ground shook with each clash, but I held my ground, determined to push the monstrous entity away from the city.

The Moon Lord's multiple eyes glared at me, each one pulsating with malevolent energy. It unleashed a barrage of Phantasmal Bolts, which I deftly deflected with rapid slashes and precise movements. The air crackled with the energy of our clash, the atmosphere thick with tension.

"Superman, we need more distance!" Dr. Fate called out, creating a magical shield that temporarily blocked the Moon Lord's attacks.

"On it!" Superman responded, using his immense strength to create a makeshift barricade, further pushing the fight towards the desolate area.

With the combined efforts of Dr. Fate's magic and Superman's might, we gradually moved the battle to a safer location. The Moon Lord's rage was palpable, but we were determined to protect the innocent lives of Osaka.

"Hang in there, Katsuo. You're doing great," Flash said, his voice strained but supportive as he continued to evacuate civilians.

Finally, we reached the outskirts. With more room to maneuver, I unleashed a powerful Judgement Cut, slicing through the Moon Lord's arm. The monstrous entity roared in pain, its Phantasmal Deathray wavering.

As the fight went on, I poured everything into my skill set. Flying around using my fire and lightning manipulation, my Summoned Swords focused solely on deflecting the Moon Lord's relentless attacks. Judgement Cut after Judgement Cut, Rapid Slash after Rapid Slash, I aimed for the eyes in its palms, the weak points we had identified.

The intensity of the battle was overwhelming. The Moon Lord's multiple eyes glowed with a sinister energy, launching Phantasmal Bolts and Deathrays in every direction. My movements were a blur, a dance of survival and precision. Despite the chaos, I could feel the progress. And a gnawing feeling to let loose.

Suddenly, a cry echoed through the battlefield. "Superman's down!" Dr. Fate shouted, his voice cutting through the din of combat. I glanced to the side and saw him on the ground, clutching his head in agony, clearly overwhelmed by the 'Eldritch Horror.'

"Flash, take Superman back!" Batman's voice came through the earpiece, urgent and commanding. "Flash? Flash! Where are you!?" The concern in his voice was palpable.

I scanned the battlefield frantically. Amidst the chaos, I spotted a figure clad in red. Flash was down, collapsed on the ground while holding two civilians on his shoulders. The sight sent a chill down my spine.

"Flash is down!" I shouted, my heart pounding.

Batman cursed under his breath. "Katsuo, Dr. Fate, you're both on your own for now. Do whatever it takes to hold the Moon Lord back. Help will be on its way."

"Understood," I replied, my grip tightening on my Tachi. This was it. It was all up to us now.

I renewed my assault, every movement calculated to exploit the Moon Lord's weaknesses. I flew higher, dodging a barrage of Phantasmal Bolts, and unleashed a powerful Judgement Cut aimed at its left eye. The Moon Lord roared in pain, the eye in its palm bursting in a shower of energy.

The ground beneath us trembled, but I couldn't afford to lose focus. With Superman and Flash incapacitated, the burden of this fight rested squarely on our shoulders. I darted around the Moon Lord, using my fire and lightning manipulation to weave a web of destruction around the towering figure.

Dr. Fate, though struggling, continued his incantations, creating protective barriers and launching magical attacks to support me. "Katsuo, you must keep it at bay! We can't let it reach the city!"

"I know!" I shouted back, sweat pouring down my face. My Summoned Swords deflected another wave of Phantasmal Bolts, and I executed a Rapid Slash, carving through the Moon Lord's right arm.

The Moon Lord's central eye fixated on me, glowing with malevolent intent. I felt the oppressive force of its 'Eldritch Horror' pressing down on my mind, but I pushed through, my will unyielding. My reason faltering.

After I pierced the Moon Lord's hand with my Adamantine Tachi, targeting the eye in its palm, the creature let out an otherworldly shriek. The eye then detached from the palm, transforming into a True Eye of Cthulhu, floating ominously around the Moon Lord and firing multiple Phantasmal Spheres in all directions.

"One down, two to go," I muttered to myself, trying to muster some confidence in this grueling fight.

Back at the Watchtower, several heroes watched the scene unfold, their faces etched with concern and agitation. The intensity of the battle was unlike anything they had ever seen. They were agitated because they couldn't help directly, constrained by their abilities and the sheer chaos of the fight.

Batman turned to Zatanna, his voice urgent. "That charm, what was it?"

Zatanna replied, "We pooled all our knowledge in creating those charms, but we clearly lacked information about Great Old Ones. If those don't work, I'm afraid we'll only be baggage if we go there. I might be a more versatile sorcerer than Dr. Fate, but I sorely lack the agility to dodge those numerous projectiles."

Batman muttered, "Projectiles," as an idea formed in his mind. He quickly issued a command, "Those who can fire accurately at a range of at least ten kilometers, join the fight."

Green Arrow, Hawkeye (Clint Archer), Cyborg, and a few other notable heroes who specialized in long-range attacks nodded and prepared to join the fray.

Meanwhile, I continued to battle the Moon Lord, dodging the relentless Phantasmal Spheres. My mind was focused, but I couldn't shake the growing exhaustion. Each move was precise, each attack calculated, but the True Eyes of Cthulhu added a new layer of difficulty.

Suddenly, I heard the familiar whoosh of arrows and the crackle of energy blasts. Green Arrow and Hawkeye had arrived, their arrows flying true and hitting the floating eyes with remarkable accuracy. Cyborg's sonic cannon blasts provided much-needed cover, giving me brief moments to regroup.

"Good timing," I thought, feeling a surge of hope.

Green Arrow's voice crackled through the earpiece. "Katsuo, we've got your back. Focus on those eyes, we'll handle the projectiles."

"Roger that," I replied, feeling a renewed sense of determination.

The battle raged on. With the support from the ranged heroes, I could concentrate more on the Moon Lord itself. I aimed for the second eye, slashing and dodging its retaliatory attacks. Another True Eye of Cthulhu emerged, but the combined efforts of the heroes kept it at bay.

Dr. Fate's mystical shields blocked several Phantasmal Bolts, while Superman, now recovering, rejoined the fight, using his heat vision to assist in destroying the floating eyes.

"One more to go," I gritted out, pushing myself to the limit.

As the final eye emerged, the Moon Lord's heart was now exposed. It screamed another otherworldly shriek, pitched higher than before. I dropped to the ground, my ears ringing. The 'Eldritch Horror' intensified in my mind, and I clutched my head with my right hand, dropping my Adamantine Tachi. Forcing my left hand into a fist, I delivered a strong uppercut to myself. The pain momentarily brought back my senses, allowing me to scan the battlefield. Dr. Fate was clearly exhausted from flying, dodging, and casting spells.

"Katsuo!" Dr. Fate shouted, his voice strained. "I need you back here now!"

Determined, I grabbed my Adamantine Tachi and re-entered the fray.

Back at the Watchtower, Batman and the heroes heard the shriek and covered their ears. Though they were not directly affected by the 'Eldritch Horror' since they didn't see the Moon Lord's form, the sound alone was unsettling.

"Cyborg, update!" Batman commanded.

Cyborg's voice crackled through the comms, filled with static. "Team...mates... Down... my... Head... Hurts..." His transmission ended with a beeping sound, indicating a critical malfunction.

"Dammit," Batman muttered. "We need to get them out of there."

Back in Osaka, the battle raged on. Dr. Fate's mystical energy was waning, and Superman was still recovering from his earlier collapse. The Moon Lord's heart, now exposed, pulsed with a malevolent energy. It was our only chance.

"Hang in there, Dr. Fate!" I shouted, charging towards the heart. With every ounce of strength, I unleashed a flurry of Judgement Cuts and Rapid Slashes, each strike infused with fire and lightning. The Moon Lord retaliated with its Phantasmal Deathray.

Dodging another Phantasmal Sphere after Phantasmal Sphere, my Summoned Swords were clearly the MVP in this fight, deflecting projectiles and slicing through projectiles with precision. I mused about their effectiveness, feeling a glimmer of pride even amidst the chaos.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a Phantasmal Bolt hit me square in the chest. The force launched me towards the ground, and I crashed hard, the impact rattling my bones. Pain shot through my body, and for a moment, everything was a blur.

Struggling to my feet, I coughed, blood speckling the ground. The Moon Lord loomed above, its eyes glaring with an eldritch fury. I could hear the concerned voices of my comrades through the earpiece.

"Katsuo! Are you alright?" Batman's voice crackled with urgency.

"I'm... I'm fine," I grunted, wiping the blood from my mouth. "Just a scratch."

Dr. Fate floated nearby, casting protective wards to shield us from the relentless onslaught of projectiles. "We can't afford to lose you now, Katsuo. Stay focused."

A thought struck me like a bolt of lightning. Maybe I've been using my Summoned Swords too conservatively. What if I combined them all? My eyes widened with realization.

"One minute! Give me a minute, Dr. Fate!" I shouted.

Dr. Fate nodded, his face etched with grim determination. "Hurry, Katsuo. We don't have much time."

Dropping my Adamantine Tachi, I focused all my energy and visualization skills. I imagined a giant sword, not just any sword, but one cladded with fire, lightning, and earth properties. I added Pyrobolt, a move I had barely used in this fight, into the mix. It surrounded the sword, giving it a blueish-red hue that radiated destructive energy.

Above me, the massive sword took form, crackling with fiery-earthy energy. I could feel its immense power, a combination of all my abilities channeled into one devastating attack.

"Fuck you, Squidward!" I roared, launching the colossal blade.

The sword hurtled through the air, its fiery-blueish-red glow illuminating the battlefield. It pierced the Moon Lord's heart with a thunderous explosion, the impact sending shockwaves through the ground. The Moon Lord convulsed, its form disintegrating into ash and dust as the energy consumed it.

The oppressive aura lifted instantly, and the sky began to clear. The Moon Lord's remains crumbled to nothing, leaving behind a quiet, desolate landscape.

Exhaustion washed over me like a tidal wave, and I collapsed to the ground, my muscles trembling from the strain of the battle. The adrenaline that had fueled me moments ago now drained away, leaving behind a bone-deep weariness.

Superman, now recovered, rushed to my side, concern etched on his face. "Katsuo, are you alright?"

I managed a weak nod, my breath coming in ragged gasps. "Just... need a moment," I wheezed, my voice barely above a whisper.

Dr. Fate hovered nearby, his expression unreadable behind the golden helmet. "Rest, Katsuo. You've earned it," he said solemnly, his voice resonating with ancient wisdom.

I nodded gratefully, allowing the darkness to sweep me away into oblivion. As I drifted into unconsciousness.

With this Volume I is done.

ChrisTian3421creators' thoughts