Comments of chapter undefined of Naruto SI : LIGHTNING AND ROSES
Naruto SI : LIGHTNING AND ROSES
Drkest
Chapter comments14
It's funny because the fic goes really well, but then the author decides to forcefully add romance and everything becomes so bad... Romance was not necessary, and even if you added it, it was too rushed, there is no development. You could even add it to the end of your fiction. I wanted to keep reading but these kinds of decisions are the ones that annoy me, when things are forcibly added that don't feel natural and ruin the continuity of the fiction and the immersion. It makes you wonder why? was necessary?
Romance was kinda rushed and forced. Should have let it develop over the course of at least a few years, they barely met for half a month and they are already engaged and it's also politically forced. Not to mention they are 12-13 years old fresh out the academy, though I'm not the happiest about this chapter it's up to you if you want to rewrite it or keep it
You should listen to your work more. Its clear from reading you came into this with a plan. To pair the MC with Karin, but when writing things dont always go as planned. Writing tends to do what it wants and certain elements just dont work. Maybe this has more to do with poor implementation, but still this is a clear case of not listening to your own work to the detriment of it. With the way things were developing Hinata was the clear choice tbf, felt much more organic and natural. Karin is as natural as Kim Kardashian.
and this is how you write a romance plot...congrats author, usually I hate romance in action novel, because they were stupid... woman came blushing went to hug mc after 1 day meet him.. then breast, then more blush.. then her friend saying something about her small breast, etc2... although this is still short and stupid, mc willing to be missing nin with only 1 day of dating, its still better than 99% teenager love out there in other novel.
