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Hillstrider

Hillstrider

Lv2

I like writing.

2023-08-14 JoinedGlobal
-d

Writing

3.1h

of reading

40

Read books

Badges

3

Moments

48
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider2mth
    Posted

    Well, where should I begin? While I would like to sugar-coat the author's writing, the way they develop the story, and the information the reader swallows, I would like to give an accurate review of the story thus far. However, with the story being only two chapters long as of me writing this review, this should be taken with a grain of salt as the author will inevitably improve, and they have asked me to write this review very early. Let's start off with the writing quality. There may be grammatical errors, but these don't deter you from the plot, so they're not a big deal. The only problem I have is the lack of quotation marks or knowing who is talking to who, and if the character is actually talking or not. The story develops at a normal rate, with the first chapter being significantly shorter than the second, although in the first one it does seem like the author is writing the story in such a way that it feels like they're trying to push the reader on with the story, seeking to "get on with it" already. The character design is solid, but the main character suddenly becoming a gigachad within the first chapter out of nowhere makes it feel a little like they're rushed. I cannot write on the updating stability as of now with only two chapters, so I am average on it. The world background is fairly well described, with the reader knowing their surroundings. All in all, I believe the writer is using their raw talent to write. While talent is excellent to have, I believe talent alone cannot suffice without experience.

    ELEMENTO : THE SUPREME GOD OF THE NATURE
    Fantasy · Rishabh_sharma_RIS
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider2mth
    Posted

    A very well-written story, albeit morbid. The author's vocabulary is incredible and it gives the reader exactly what they're looking for. The story development is interesting, with the main character finding his true potential in just a few chapters. This also is another excellent choice as it is flexible, allowing the author to either take the character development slow or to quickly make the character powerful, or something in between. The author's use of the first-person narrator is a great choice for a story such as this. It sometimes changes to third-person, albeit very infrequently. The character design is unique, with the characters being recognized just by their word choice, which makes for an excellent experience. All in all, this novel is a great way to pass the time, or just don't binge on it too much!

    The Archon's Sacrifice
    Fantasy · DabbbleWriter
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider2mth
    Replied to DabbbleWriter

    Thank you for noticing the lack of purple prose! I'm going with little to no blue and purple prose, especially purple prose since I'd like to aim for both beginner and experienced readers alike, and as such having an incomprehensible/inpenetrable drawn-out description of something can give readers headaches, especially to beginners. The text will become shorter and shorter over time as the reader can imagine their surroundings without the need of world building in order to focus on action rather than unnecessary visuals!

    Obliterator's Dungeon
    Fantasy · Hillstrider
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider2mth
    Posted

    An incredible, well-written story. The writing feels extremely satisfying. It almost hypnotizes you! The broad vocabulary really enhances the story. The character development is well written and the action scenes are well delivered. The author develops the story in a way that really makes you feel the emotions of the characters, keeping you on edge the entire time. The characters are described in a way that builds their image in your mind with ease, with dialogue that discerns them from other characters without the author having to write "said X" or "y replied". The world takes place in a mostly urban environment, during modern times. The author describes the world around the characters in a way that allows the reader to imagine the environment and how they would expect it to look. All in all, this is a great read for both beginners and experienced readers alike.

    Perk Mage
    Urban · Makkis_Literal
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider2mth
    Commented

    Amazing writing, this instantly gets anyone hooked :D

    The pain was sharp and sudden, and with horror she saw a spray of her own blood splashed across the blank canvas of the perfectly white shirt. She could feel hot wetness on her chest, her sight began to fade. She could hear the thump of her heart pounding in her ears slow as her life slipped away.
    Innocent Until Proven Guilty
    Urban · slowestcook
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider2mth
    Commented

    Here we go! <3

    Prologue - Waking
    Innocent Until Proven Guilty
    Urban · slowestcook
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider2mth
    Posted

    It's a very original concept, thrusting the reader into a game of chess. Not literally, you see. You'll have to read to understand what I mean. This is an action-packed novel, the fights might sometimes seem like the main character is overpowered, although I think that just adds spice. The writing can be enhanced and the author is actively improving, although for now I'd give the writing a passing grade as the author's thoughts and expressions are still being understood by the reader.

    Between Light and Darkness: The Void
    Fantasy · CyberDevil_2051
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider2mth
    Commented

    I don't recommend writing "each other" that many times in one paragraph! D:

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    Between Light and Darkness: The Void
    Fantasy · CyberDevil_2051
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider2mth
    Commented

    That's upsetting :c

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    Between Light and Darkness: The Void
    Fantasy · CyberDevil_2051
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider2mth
    Commented

    The title kinda feels too similar to the second chapter :O

    A Fight Not Meant to Seen
    Perk Mage
    Urban · Makkis_Literal
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider2mth
    Commented

    He was fired at and her concern is that he won't make it to prom. Thanks, mom!

    "Mom, it doesn't start for three hours. That's 180 minutes," I pointed out, a trace of exasperation in my voice.
    Perk Mage
    Urban · Makkis_Literal
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider2mth
    Commented

    Extroverts be like "just talk"

    Rather than living in perpetual fear of evading bullets, I aspired to emulate my uncle's ability to attract people and build a support system around me. It was a dream that remained distant, an aspiration that felt unattainable in the face of the danger that now loomed over me.
    Perk Mage
    Urban · Makkis_Literal
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider2mth
    Commented

    Getting home would be the last thing I'd want to do when someone randomly opens fire at me

    I quickly dashed off as additional gunfire erupted, managing to evade the bullets by utilizing the cover provided by the surrounding trees. I kept on running, knowing I had to make it all the way back home. 
    Perk Mage
    Urban · Makkis_Literal
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider2mth
    Commented

    This has taken me by surprise and raised my interest.

    But suddenly, an event occurred that made my spine tingle with fear. A gun was suddenly waved in my direction, its barrel aimed straight at me. Maybe someone else was coming my way, and I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. My fear skyrocketed when the gun went off, and the bullet tore through the tree I was hiding behind. I gasped, my breath trapped in my chest. 
    Perk Mage
    Urban · Makkis_Literal
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider2mth
    Commented

    While this may be true, I believe punishing both was the correct action to take. After all, acts of aggression may escalate in the future.

    I was completely stunned, my jaw almost touching the floor. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. This punishment was unlike any I had ever experienced. Of course, Kirk had never thrown a punch my way, but was I really expected to just take it without a word? Kirk had a reputation for being physically aggressive, and the school seldom took action. When the victim decided to fight back, they were suddenly seen as just as responsible? Did the victim have to face consequences too? 
    Perk Mage
    Urban · Makkis_Literal
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider2mth
    Commented

    Fight or flight? Why not both? :D

    Unexpectedly, a twist in the story unfolded. At the final moment, a sudden burst of energy shot through me, causing my hand to clench into a fist. I tightly shut my eyes, yearning to find myself back in my familiar bed, soaked in sweat from a horrifying dream. However, as soon as I sensed the undeniable collision of my fist meeting Kirk's face, and the intense pain spreading from his cheek to my hand, I realized the gravity of the situation. 
    Perk Mage
    Urban · Makkis_Literal
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider2mth
    Commented

    It would be pretty hilarious if there was a way to counteract this with some kind of magic that hexes anyone meddling with the lock, such as spewing paint on them or an alarm.

    Arriving at my designated storage unit, 426, I paused for a moment before unlocking it. Fortunately, my collection of literary treasures remained intact, prompting a sigh of relief to escape my lips. Every now and then, a select few individuals had the magical ability to unlock lockers, such as Kirk, and they would use this power for mischievous pranks like book or belongings heists. They found it entertaining. 
    Perk Mage
    Urban · Makkis_Literal
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider10mth
    Posted

    A well-written story that really can be very much enjoyed, just don't binge on it too much. It's addicting!

    Way Back To Neverland
    Fantasy · InkDreamer07
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider10mth
    Replied to Patience_Agboola

    Yes :D

    Five minutes later everybody at Max birthday party including Max heard a loud gun shot followed by another one then Max panicked and went inside to see if anything happened to his parents but before he entered he saw blood coming out of the entrance then when he entered inside he saw the most terrifying sight which was his dead parents.
    Time For Vengeance
    Action · Patience_Agboola
    detail
  • Hillstrider
    Hillstrider10mth
    Commented

    This is a very interesting take! I like unique characters that are set apart from the rest of the world.

    The old man's tone grew suspicious, "Well, I can't believe that you possess Black Flames, also known as demonic flames."
    Way Back To Neverland
    Fantasy · InkDreamer07
    detail