Just because

I don't trust my standards. But the "Thunder" part of the name made me wince 💀

First of all, grammar is okay; readable at the very least, though it can be improved more. Sentence structure not the best, it needs more flow. First chapter is an immediate info dump. Yes, we get it. The guy knows the game like the back of his hand. But this is a novel, the main lead knows a lot of the world, but for us readers, it is something new. If you suddenly give us a lot of information, some might feel overwhelmed or might skip through the paragraphs. You could make an auxiliary volume if that helps. You could drop the info little by little, or maybe through character dialogues. While story-wise, it does not seem to be a rare premise so I do hope this does get an interesting turn.

Lance Thunder- 💀💀💀

Alright. My second review. It definitely improved tons. The descriptions are a bit more vivid now, and I have a grasp on what the characters are like. Though still, dialogues still aren't that moving but it's okay. I don't plan on continuing this book for one childish reason; I don't like genres like these. But, if you are into such, you might as well try it out.

I don't think that "nervously" is the right word for this. Maybe, "fury" or "annoyance" would work.

Burger King would gladly have you

Daemon...

I wholeheartedly agree

I did like the concept, but I didn't much so for the way it was delivered

The writing is... well, to put it nicely, confusing. To put it brutally, just horrible. Punctuations need work, I don't think I've seen an actual quotation mark so far. The story is an amazing concept, but it is badly written. The author said he enjoys a bit of mystery, but don't you think there's too much mystery at this point? I suggest downloading Grammarly to help with the minor mistakes. The descriptions as well, they're vague. I could barely visualize what's happening. Sigh, I really hope you could try and neaten up the writing. It was an interesting concept but alas.

Sigh. After reading their other book, I didn't expect much for this one. Writing is all over the place, the descriptions are too vague and honestly, plain stupid. Yeah, as I mentioned in my last review, can you not spam 5 star review to get a decent rating? Thank you very much. I'm leaving now, never coming back

Ah, I see. I suppose it's because the dialogue tag itself is considered as part of the sentence along with the dialogue.

About the dialogues having commas at the end... It isn't that rare to see commas at the end of dialogues. When you add a dialogue tag (he jumped, he cried, he said, etc) you are to use a comma; or if it fits, a question mark or and exclamation mark will do as well.

Wonderful book. The writing style is rather unique frankly. The character emotions are well conveyed into words. The author seems really sweet and yet their words remain striking. Well done.

4.6 stars. What is this beautiful thing? This is your first novel? Are you sure? Oh my lord. I have no words. Read it.

oop- typo deserves*

I'm going to start by saying Alvina deserves better >:( And Rose didn't deserver that either. Anyway! With only two chapters in, I still can't clearly see how this'll end; but then again, that's what makes stories interesting. Writing style still isn't my cup of tea but I can ignore that. The writer is pretty passionate and I can see that. :D

I don't really believe in the concept of God, but that's a really nice motivational quote.