The story is very erratic. Not at all suitable for a novel narration, the dialogue looks like it's suited for a crack fic or a manga or anime. Not a diss on the story.
The story is good but after some time we are seeing many discrepancies in MC nature and personality which are different from the narrative set by the writer. Because of that the immersion is broken and the story does not remain engaging enough.
The translation and grammar is the biggest thing that is holding this story back. also the pandering of the mc can be lowered to make it more authentic .