Chapter 26 - Jaya Pt 1 2/2

"Oh, did I forget to mention?" I stated innocently, my voice sliding across the frigid silence that had frozen the air. "There are people living up there. Those—" I pointed at the literally freaking titanic forms visible in the darkness around us. "Are their shadows. Scary, no?"

Ain't technical truths absolutely hilarious?

The silence lasted a second longer.

Two…

Three…

Then one of the Shandorans' spears twitched, and Soundbite screamed like a little bitch in falsetto.

"MOOOONSTEEEEEEERS!"

And like that, we were off!

-o-

Five minutes later found me rolling on the deck laughing my ass off at my crewmates' reactions. Their faces, the burst of strength that they'd put on to row so fast… downright hilarious, grade A comedy at its utmost finest! So much so that my laughter wasn't even hampered by the fact that Vivi was currently doing her idle best to shatter my ribcage with her feet.

"JACKASS! BASTARD! SCUMBUCKET! UNCULTURED POTATO! INCONSIDERATE! GODDAMN! ASSHOLE!"

Of course, the fact that she was cursing so much that the dugongs and Carue were all standing and watching her with identical blushes may have had something to do with that, too.

It also helped that her kicks didn't hurt that much, so I could keep laughing without worry.

"PFFHAHAHA—OOF!—HAHAHA! OH HOH HOH MY GO-O—ORGH!—OOOD! YOUR FACES! YOUR FA-A—ARGH!—CES! THAT WAS PRICELESS! PRICELESS! PFFHAHAHAHAAAA!"

"Sky Island scary, Sky Island scary, Sky Island scary…" Usopp moaned as he rocked back and forth in a fetal position on the deck. Chopper was hunched over a barrel, scribbling frantically on page after page of a notepad as he tried to figure out the biological logistics of something that broke the square-cube law like a dry twig. He had a look in his eye, yes, but thankfully it was only halfway worrying. Robin was doing her best to maintain her calm exterior; Zoro, Nami, and Sanji were all watching Vivi with varying degrees of satisfaction; Lassoo was, of course, still asleep; and Luffy and Masira were talking animatedly about the shadows.

"Ook kee! Man, so you're really thinking of going up there, huh?" the gorilla-esque man asked excitedly. "I can only imagine what the journey will be like! I'm so jealous!"

"Shishishi! Me too!" Luffy nodded in agreement as he scratched his finger beneath his nose. "I'm really looking forwards to those giants too! I mean, we've met giants before, sure, but never any that big!" His grin widened exponentially. "Oooh, if we're really lucky, then maybe we'll get to fight one!"

"VETO!" Nami snapped, slapping her hand up with an offended roar.

"SECONDED!" Zoro concurred.

"Wai—pffhahaha… hoo…—wait…" I raised my hand pleadingly. "Wait… I-I might have fibbed a little, alri—?" CRUNCH! "GAH! ALWAYS WID DA NOZE, BIDCH!"

"ASSHOLE!" Vivi snarled as she stomped away.

"Grgh…" I gurgled painfully as I jerked my nose back into position and pinched it shut before speaking. "Technical pacifist my lucky left… tsk, anyways. Look, those shadows were just that: shadows. I won't bore you with the technical details, but simply put, it was just a trick of the light. The people up there have wings, yes, but besides that, the only differences they have from us are cultural. Alright?"

Luffy sagged and got pouty, but everyone else relaxed by a fair margin.

"Anyways," I said, turning to Masira. "Thanks for your help, Captain Masira, and sorry about technically kidnapping you from your ship. But, ah… while we have you… seeing how our little makeshift salvage operation was…" I gestured at the array of 'antiques' (read: junk) we'd retrieved and laid out on the deck. "Apparently fruitless, I don't suppose you have any ideas on how to reach Sky Island, do you?"

"Eh, don't worry about the whole 'kidnapping' thing," Masira waved me off carelessly. "We were all in a panic, it was about as much my fault as yours. And besides…" He dug around in his overalls and withdrew an Eternal Pose. "I freedive a lot, so I carry this around with me in case a current swells up and snatches me from my ship. My crew knows to meet me here if we ever get separated. Which is a good thing either way…" He shot us all a large thumbs up. "Because I think I might know someone who can help you guys with your problem!"

I grinned victoriously amidst everyone's cries of shock and relief. Can you say 'jackpot'?

"Jaya, huh?" Nami read off of the Pose's label. "Do you know anything about it, Vivi?"

The princess bit her thumb thoughtfully. "Well… my father and I did stop there a few times going to and from Alabasta, but…" She shook her head in denial. "He, Igaram, Pell and Chaka always made triply sure that I never went ashore while we were there."

"Good call," I agreed. "The only civilization on the island is Mock Town. It's a pirate town, and about as rough as rough gets."

Masira nodded in agreement. "Cross is right, Mock Town is bad news through and through. Fortunately, our destination is on the other side of the island: our boss's house. Believe me, the boss is a smart man, and he believes in the impossible as much as my brother and I. If anyone knows of a way to reach Sky Island, it'll be him!"

Nami glanced at Luffy and I, and once he nodded and I shot her a thumbs up, she began issuing the appropriate orders to the rest of the crew.

"So…" she asked me once the ship was as good as autonomous, walking over next to me as she eyed the salvaged objects Robin was poring over. "You said something about a piece here being useful in the long run?"

"Eeyup," I nodded, inching around the arms Robin had set to work as I grasped the handle of the dilapidated waver and carefully dragged it to the side where Nami could look it over. "This sorry thing right here."

Nami took one look at the distinctly ex-vehicle before giving me an unimpressed stare. "You're starting to get on my nerves with the jokes, Cross."

"Hey, no joke this time, I swear," I assured her. "Sure, it needs some serious repair work, but…" I tapped the toe of my boot against the metal orb on the butt of the wreck. "The key component is still intact, and even among its kind, despite its age, it's still an absolute king. Once it's fixed up… well, remember Ace's boat? That's pretty much what this is, save that it's probably even faster."

Nami's unimpressed look faded in favor of contemplation, and then adulation. "I love you again, Cross!" Nami squealed as she flung her arms around my neck before skipping away gleefully.

I stared after her blankly for a moment before giving Soundbite a flat look. "From pissed to in love in ten seconds flat," I deadpanned.

"AND ALL IT took was a PRICELESS and unique bribe," Soundbite snickered.

"You didn't seem all that surprised when I did the same thing," came a nearby, somewhat subdued voice. I glanced back towards Robin who, though her arms were maintaining their diligent archaeology work, was staring straight at me, her expression guarded. Though there was a trace of fear in it. "Mister Jeremiah… I have utilized every means of earning the trust of others over the years except for telling the truth of what happened to me. I will ignore your impossible knowledge for the moment in favor of asking you this: what makes you think that I would change that now?"

I chewed my lip as I contemplated my response. What I wanted to say was that it was because we were the ones Saul had told her about, but it was too soon for that; that kind of a bombshell wouldn't earn her trust, only a snapped neck. As it was, there was only one answer.

"That," I stated neutrally. "Is a question that you and you alone can answer. I am neither capable of nor inclined to try forcing you to tell them. It's not an ultimatum, and there's no time limit. It just… is. When you decide to tell them of your own free will, when you trust them enough to actually join this crew… then I'll tell you."

Her gaze hardened slightly as she looked back down at her work. "You mean then you'll trust me."

"No." Her gaze snapped back up at my statement in surprise. "I already trust you, Robin, to certain degrees and distances. I'm just waiting until we're friends, completely and utterly. And I'll be honest…" I dredged up my memories of the future, of Robin smiling and crying with the crew, of her really opening up. I remembered who she really was… and I smiled. "I'm looking forward to when that day comes."

She stared at me, her arms stilling as she searched my expression for any sign of deception before slowly allowing her arms to dissipate. "You… are an odd person, Cross."

I actually snickered at that, shaking my head sadly. "Oh, you have seen nothing yet, trust me on that!"

FWUM-WUM-WUMP!

"AAAAGH! HELP! WE NEED A DOCTOR!"

I snapped my head up as the sound of three impacts hit the forecastle before scowling darkly. "Allow me to demonstrate." And with that, I marched up the stairs to where Chopper was frantically examining the fallen seagulls.

"THEY'VE BEEN SHOT! THEY'VE BEEN SHOT! SOMEBODY CALL A—"

"YOU'RE THE DOCTOR, dumbass!" Soundbite cackled.

"Oh, right!" Chopper moved to examine them, his expert eyes roving over their bodies while Usopp dismissed the idea of them having been shot, which Chopper disproved by extracting the bullets and displaying them for all to see.

"Well, then, they must have been shot awhile back and only died just now," Nami shrugged carelessly as she looked over the birds. "It's a sad and cruel thing, but it can happen. Sorry, Chopper."

"Yeah, and besides!" Usopp called down from the crow's nest. "Even if they'd been shot, Soundbite would have heard any gunshot within a mile of us! Right, slimeball?"

"EAT MY SHORTS!" Soundbite called up before giving Chopper an apologetic look. "But he is right. I DIDN'T HEAR nuthin'."

"Ah…" Chopper trailed off in an uncomfortable tone as he looked down at the gulls' corpses. "Well… I-I guess it's possible. It's happened before…"

"Just not in this case."

"Huh? Lassoo?" Nami blinked at the dachshund-cannon as he lugged his way up the stairs and approached the bodies. "What are you—?"

Lassoo cut her off by taking a sniff of the bullet Chopper was holding and snorting darkly. "Thought so. Smell it."

Chopper did so, and his pupils promptly dilated. "Gunpowder… this bullet still smells like gunpowder! I-If these birds had been shot even an hour ago, their blood would have washed that smell away!"

"That's because they weren't shot an hour ago, were they?" Lassoo huffed, slowly padding next to me and joining me in glaring forwards.

"Nope," I confirmed, not looking back at the crew as I stared dead ahead over the water. "They were sniped. Pay attention, Usopp, you're witnessing the work of the man who's no doubt destined to be your rival in the far future."

"W-what!?" Usopp stammered in shock. "A-are you sure?"

"Hmm…" I hummed, tapping my chin in faux-thought. "You know what? Let me check."

And with that, I stuck my arm out and put my middle finger on display, glaring dead ahead in challenge all the while.

I waited all of five seconds before snapping my arm down and taking a step to the side.

CRACK!

Not a second too soon, judging by how a patch of Merry's mast splintered from the bullet that ricocheted off of it.

"Oh, yeah," I nodded darkly as I glared at the horizon, daring the jackass to take another shot. "I'm sure." And with that, I wheeled around and marched down the stairs to the main deck. "Look alive, people!" I shouted to my crewmates, who were all staring at me in awe. "We're already in range of the enemy." I blew out a harsh tsk as I caught Luffy's gaze. He looked beyond determined, and more than a bit ticked. "It only gets harder from here on out."

Once Luffy nodded at me, I turned my attention to Boss, who needed no prompting before holding out a rucksack.

"Well, Cross, you were right. There were some fancy seashells down there. How about explaining exactly what they are now?"

I grinned as I took the bag and peered at the collection of shells inside. "They're called Dials. And they're going to help some of us get a lot stronger a lot faster." I rubbed my hands together eagerly as I looked them over. "Alright, let's see what we got…"

-o-

In a calm patch of weather in the second half of the Grand Line, a great white whale-shaped ship sailed through the waters. Since the scuttling of the Oro Jackson, it had become the most recognizable silhouette on the high seas of the New World: Moby Dick, the flagship of the Whitebeard Pirates. Many a pirate had seen the ship and sought after it, attempting to topple its captain, either for Justice or for fame.

All of them met with defeat. Many of them met with death.

But some of them chose to adopt the wise philosophy of 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.' And thus, the Whitebeard Pirates grew stronger with each passing month, the captain's title of 'Strongest Man in the World' untouchable by any save the other Emperors, and they scarcely deemed it worth the effort to try.

With this reputation in mind, it would come as a surprise to many just how nonchalant a typical day aboard the Moby Dick was when there were no storms or enemies to deal with. Looking at the way the crew milled about, it felt more like a closely-knit family than anything. Indeed, it was looking at pirates like this, really looking at them, that would give the vast majority of people in the world cause to wonder if the stereotype about all pirates being evil was true.

"Don don don don!"

Unless, of course, you happened to have upset them at some point recently.

"Pick up the snail," growled a man with a purple jacket and yellow hair, the good mood he was in abruptly soured.

A handful of other men, all of them division commanders of the Whitebeard Pirates, joined Marco as he moved towards the gastropod in question, one of the grunts moving to obey.

"Three in a day? You think he's going to make this a regular thing?" questioned Haruta.

"If he does, he'd better pray that he doesn't make insulting Pops a regular thing," Jozu grumbled as the other crewmate picked up the receiver.

"I still say you're overreacting," stated Vista. "Ace would have made that joke in a heartbeat."

"Yeah, but he's family," Marco growled. Anything further discussion was cut off by the Transponder Snail taking on a cocky expression.

"Hey, Cross? While we're waiting, I HAVE A QUESTION."

"What, Soundbite?"

"MAY I START THE SBS?"

"What? Heck no! That's my right as the show's host! The only one who can start it is—! SON OF A—!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Ha! Somehow, that joke never gets old," Vista laughed.

"Outfoxed by a snail? Yeah, I can see how that wouldn't get old in a hurry," Namur chuckled.

"You DO realize that this is MY transceiver, right?!"

"YEAH, but you can't USE IT WITHOUT ME! HEEHEEHEEhoohoohoo!"

Some muttering came over the connection, something about "writing Goda-sensei a letter," and "less funny when you're on the receiving end."

Finally, when the laughter both from the other end of the snail's call and on the deck of the Moby Dick died down, Cross spoke up again.

"Ugh… alright. Hello, loyal viewers. First, let me assure you that I don't plan on making it a habit of broadcasting three times a day."

"Aww!"

"Shut up!"

"But as it stands, Soundbite was getting bored—OUCH!"

"LIAR, LIAR!"

"You damn… ugh, alright, so I didn't want to admit I made a mistake with an… unconventional incendiary device that earned me the ire of two of my female crewmates and Sanji, and Chopper has suggested that I stay still while these injuries heal up. So, in light of recent… developments… I decided to retire to the storeroom and take the time to make a short broadcast concerning one of the main reasons I started the SBS in the first place: the existence of good pirates.

"Now, as I said on my first broadcast, good pirates do make up the minority of the population of seafaring rogues. However, the fact remains that they exist. In fact, good pirates make up half the population of the most notorious pirates alive: the Four Emperors, rulers of the second half of the Grand Line. And considering how I've been made aware of the callousness of a remark I made earlier today, I'm going to focus on the greater of these two. Well, greater from my perspective anyways; my captain would say otherwise. Ladies and gentlemen, this broadcast is dedicated to the Whitebeard Pirates."

All those who had previously been scowling blinked in surprise, and the usual hubbub on deck quieted down to nothing.

"…I'll go make sure Pops is listening to this," Marco muttered before taking off and heading for the captain's quarters.

"Yes, and if the Marines didn't want me dead before, this broadcast is going to be the final nail in my coffin. Oh, well, they still have to catch me first. Now, the Whitebeard Pirates… I don't know what many of you listening may have heard about Whitebeard. Let me confirm some of the common rumors: strongest man in the world? True. Gold Roger's old rival? Well, one of them. The man had a lot of rivals. Captain of the biggest pirate fleet in the world? Eh… I'm pretty sure that's true. Let's say he's the captain of the biggest fleet that doesn't hide their numbers. And finally, dangerous to provoke? Oh, yes, that's true, but therein lies the reason I see him as a good pirate. See, the easiest way to make the old man angry enough to bring the entire force of the Whitebeard Pirates down on your head?"

The crew waited…

"Stealing their sake."

Everyone on the deck either faceplanted or roared with laughter. "Pops probably would if it wasn't one of us," Jozu admitted through his chortles.

"And maybe even if it was!" Vista chuckled.

"Sorry, everyone, that was a joke, though I'm not prepared to say it's untrue. But the main way to provoke them? Hurting anyone under their protection."

The deck quieted again.

"See, the Grand Line is a dangerous place. Lots of insanely strong pirates sail the seas, and as I've established, most of them are the stereotypical 'rape, pillage, and plunder' kind. As a result of this, it's not uncommon to find islands that get hit more often than others for food, supplies, or… other resources. Whitebeard and most, if not all of those loyal to him don't approve of such things, which is why they have a habit of claiming those islands as their territory. What benefits do the Whitebeard Pirates reap from that? Places to resupply without fear of arrest? Not really; their strength and reputation ensures that anyway. So, there's no visible benefit to them taking these islands.

"Except… it means that thousands, perhaps millions, live without fear of a pirate attack. And if anyone disagrees with that idea, they will bring the full force of the most powerful crew in the world down on their heads. At Whitebeard's command, dozens of pirate crews, each with the force of an army, would come to avenge anyone who dared to harm one of his territories."

"I think he's made up for that comment earlier today," Blamenco noted. His comment was promptly met with an absolute barrage of hushes.

"And Heaven forbid if you touch a member of his crew. Seriously, just don't do it. Let me see if I can draw a logical outcome here: if the Marines were to successfully capture anyone who followed him, and were stupid enough to broadcast that fact, well, we have an award for such people where I'm from.

"It's called a Darwin Award, always awarded posthumously to those who have performed the world the ultimate good: dying, so that the world's genepool isn't contaminated by their stupidity anymore."

"If he keeps this up, the World Government is going to create that award just so they can give it to him if they capture him," Izo muttered.

"Seriously, how many Marines would die for that? How many people would perish just to make an example? A statement? And even if the Marines triumphed over Whitebeard… would they instantly step in to take over the territories once protected by his name? Or would they leave them to be conquered by other pirates? This, everyone, is why not even the Marines challenge the Whitebeard Pirates: because those pirates are doing their job for them. A job they are unilaterally unable to fulfill."

"Oh, yeah, Izo. They'd definitely do that," Namur said with a smirk. "You know, I say if his crew makes it to the New World, we invite them to join us."

"Namur, Cross' captain is Ace's brother; if they planned on joining us, we'd know by now," Jozu pointed out.

"Actually, now that I think about it, Ace once told me the chances of his brother joining us once he got into the New World," Marco commented, having rejoined them a minute before.

"Oh, yeah? What'd he say?"

Marco grinned fondly. "And I quote: 'About as much as Pops choosing to go dry.'"

It took all of five seconds for that message to sink in, at which point the Whitebeards burst out laughing.

-o-

On an island where no man lived, a group of powerful pirates moved with grace and authority through the streets of a well-constructed city. Varying in size and shape, they nonetheless gave the clear message of authority and power. But more than either of those, they showed beauty. And none more so than the black-haired woman leading them, clad in a blouse and sarong that showed a generous amount of skin, and with a cold beauty about her that while impassive, would make any normal man fall groveling at her feet.

The Kuja Pirates' trek back to the palace after a successful raid at sea to prepare for the feast came to an abrupt halt when their aforementioned beautiful captain stopped, her eyes falling upon a nearby building. A small, mischievous smile came over her face, and she turned towards it. Two taller women, one with green hair and a serpent's tongue and the other with orange hair and a sumo physique, rolled their eyes before following her, and the remainder of the crew followed them without hesitation.

"Off to ruin Nyon's tea-time again are we? Zahaha!" Daisy chuckled behind her mouth.

"I swear, one of these days, the old bat is going to snap and take the Snake Princess's head off…" Ran sighed wearily as she massaged her temple.

"I'm about getting there myself…" Sandersonia hissed out of the corner of her mouth.

"Maybe so, but you can't say that their spats aren't entertaining," Marigold reasoned.

Sandersonia hunched forwards with a snort. "When did I ever say otherwise?"

Pointedly ignoring the musings of her crewmates and siblings, the world-renowned Pirate Empress Boa Hancock strode up to the door of Elder Nyon's favorite tea salon, reared her leg back and slammed her heel into the indent that had formed in the doors on account of her near-daily abuse of them.

"Elder Nyon!" the Empress announced firmly, her voice resonating throughout the shop, and her head tilted so far forward that she was looking up (sure, let's go with that). "Is there a reason you decided not to honor your Empress as she returned from a fruitful voyage? Pray for your own sake that there is a reason, for I shall not!"

Hancock waited for the telltale screech of Nyon's rage at having her tea-time interrupted, eager for yet another chance to strike some more dents into that old bag's leathery hide, and promptly frowned in confusion when she was met with only silence.

She cast a look at Sandersonia without altering her pose. "Has fate been kind and the witch been stricken down by the radiance of my beauty?"

"Uh…" The tallest of the sisters leaned down and gazed into the store. "Not… exactly?"

Hancock straightened her stance and looked into the salon, where she was met with a crowd of Amazons that were collectively staring at something. While most people would have been curious about what everyone was staring at, Hancock was concerned with a far more pressing issue.

Namely, the fact that no one was staring at her.

An ugly scowl painted Hancock's beautiful features as she marched into the salon. "What is the meaning of this?!" she snarled viciously.

The assembled Amazons promptly jerked away from her in terror as they became aware of her presence.

"S-Snake Princess!" a younger blonde member of the Guardian warriors stammered fearfully.

"Saga of—Oh no…" a more rotund warrior gulped.

"Not good…" a large face whimpered from where she was looking in through the window.

Of the crowd, only one didn't react with visible terror. This 'one' was a senior citizen, calmly sipping her tea as she continued to watch the Transponder Snail that was perched on her table. "Ah, so the brat princess has returned, has she? Welcome back, Hancock. Why nyon don't you pull up a seat? I do believe that the show's just getting good."

The Snake Empress cocked an eyebrow in a decidedly unimpressed manner. "'Show'? What are you talking about, you senile old—?"

Hancock was interrupted by the Transponder Snail continuing to speak. "I mean, can you imagine the state that Fishman Island alone would be in if not for Whitebeard? That's an entire kingdom, a member of the World Government no less, at the unabated 'mercy' of whatever pirates or raiders decide to go to it! How hard would it be to maintain a base down there, some coated battleships at most to maintain order? But noooo, the Marines are perfectly content with leaving their bottleneck as is, leaving the protection of Fishman Island solely to Whitebeard. Some might say the Warlord Jinbe does his own part, but he's not so much a part of the Marines as he is the World Government, so in my opinion? That doesn't count!"

Hancock's anger cooled and her eyes widened in surprise; even the fact that it was a male voice couldn't impede the sheer shock of hearing someone outright disparage the Marines like that.

"What is this, Elder Nyon?" she asked, her tone perfectly even.

The Elder's lip quirked up into a smirk as she took a sip of her tea. "Some pirate nyon named Jeremiah Cross got his hands on a government device that let him connect to every Transponder Snail in the world at once. He's been taking nyon the opportunity to tear the 'holy' reputation of the Marines and World Government apart."

"KINDA LIKE HOW fainting on number ninety-nine of a HUNDRED PUSHUPS doesn't count either!"

"THE ABSOLUTE HELL IT DOESN'T, JACKASS!"

"Ah, yes, and that nyon would be the Transponder Snail with which he uses the device, Soundbite. He's quite the riot himself!" Nyon snickered.

"Saga of—How does he speak?" one of the Amazons mused.

The Boa sisters and Nyon stiffened momentarily, prompting Hancock to hastily speak up.

"Well, whether or not you find this 'broadcast' entertaining is entirely irrelevant!" she sniffed haughtily. "The laws of Amazon Lily are clear: the presence of men on this island is strictly prohibited! And as Empress, I deem this law to extend even to the voice of men! As such, Granny Nyon, you will do well to silence that snail at once, or else—"

"Anyway… I've said my fill on Whitebeard and his crew, but I have one more thing to say before I end this. The subject of what fishmen and mermen have endured can wait until another broadcast, that's too broad of a subject with the time I've got now. Someday soon, I'll talk about that, but let me give you a sneak peek now: the most common victimization that would happen to anyone who was left to pirates' mercy on Fishman Island? A hell worse than Impel Down, worse than facing Whitebeard in a temper: the hell that is slavery."

Hancock's words died in her throat as the middle of her back suddenly burned, allowing only a ragged and undignified gurgle to exit. Judging by the sharp hisses at her side and the way Nyon tensed, she was far from the only one affected.

"Now, I can only imagine the skepticism being felt the world over, on account of how the Marines and the World Government supposedly outlawed slavery two hundred years ago, and for the majority of the world, I'm sure that this holds true, but the horrific fact is that the practice is not dead on a global scale, and is still willingly practiced by many. And not just lowlifes, for that matter, not just in the shadows. There are slavehouses operating in broad daylight, peddling human flesh by the boatload, putting prices on lives and selling them to the highest, richest bidders who do so without so much as a hint of remorse.

"And it's not just in the Grand Line either, oh no! The market might be here, but the product? All you need to do is look, and you will find people in chains in the Blues as well, and this is an absolute fact! It's horrific, it's disgusting, it's inhuman… and the worst part of all? The Marines are entirely aware of it, and they don't. Do. A thing. That's just one of the many reasons why I stand opposed to the Marines, and until serious change is brought about, I will bring it up any chance I fucking get! I don't care how suicidal this is, or how likely I am to be killed, this needs to be heard!…somebody has to say this. Somebody has to speak up. For their sakes."

"VIVA LA REVOLUTION!"

"Long live change in any form… because whatever comes after, there is no way it could be worse than what we've got now. That's all I have to say for the time being; don't expect another broadcast today, but as of tomorrow, all bets are off. Until the next time I shed light where darkness is prevalent, and reveal darkness where light is presented, this is Jeremiah Cross—"

"AND SOUNDBITE!"

"—Of the SBS, signing off."

The snail fell asleep the next moment, and for a few seconds, nobody spoke.

"…I hereby deem Jeremiah Cross and any males who associate with him exceptions to the country's law. In voice or in person, they are welcome here," Hancock said quietly.

The Princess's sisters gaped at her in shock.

"Sister—" Marigold started, reaching for her sibling… an action she regretted when Hancock flinched at her touch.

"She's gone back…" Sandersonia whimpered fearfully.

Hancock shivered as she bit her lip in an effort to maintain control, to ignore the burning she could still feel, even after so many years, not even caring how many of her subjects saw her in her moment of weakness.

Finally, she cracked her eyes open and looked at Nyon, a veritable hurricane of emotions whirling in her eyes. "Inform me of when next he broadcasts. I would listen to his words myself."

Nyon snorted at the arrogance of the request, but nodded nevertheless. "Take my snail, I'll just come to you. But do your best to get your own tomorrow!"

Hancock gestured for one of her crewmates to pick up the gastropod before wheeling around and marching out of the salon, shadowed closely by her sisters. Everyone else looked after her in confusion until Elder Nyon spoke again.

"Ah, bending the country's law for someone who speaks up for all of those who are oppressed. It's good to see that our Snake Princess has such a beautiful heart to match her appearance."

Silence fell as those around her processed the words, during which she made the prudent decision to cover her ears. Then the room erupted.

"OH, SNAKE PRINCESS!"

"SHE'S SO BENEVOLENT!"

"AS BEAUTIFUL WITHIN AS WITHOUT!"

"I LOVE YOU, SNAKE PRINCESS!"

Nyon surreptitiously took the flask her serpent handed her and started draining it viciously. 'Urgh, I'm going to need something stronger if I'm going to wash the taste of that bullshit out of my mouth. Now the brat owes me more than ever, and I doubt I'll ever see anything come of it!' Nyon thought with a grimace. Her expression then softened into a somewhat fond smile as she stared out a window and into the sky. 'But speaking of bullshit, at least the World Government has finally been called on its own. To think that one man with a big mouth could have such an effect… Godspeed, Cross. Something tells me you'll need it.'

-o-

Finally, after several long and rather paranoia-ridden hours of sailing, we came within sight of our next real island destination on the Grand Line: the jaws of the Golden Skull, an island of cynicism, heartbreak and shattered dreams; an island that currently held no less than three enemy factions, with one enemy actually counting for two at once.

We were about to dock at Mock Town, the thoroughly rotted cavity of the isle of Jaya.

I blew out a weary breath as I eyed the madhouse of a town we were sailing up to, scanning the ships around us as we pulled ourselves in. "We've really got no other choice but to dock here?" I asked despondently, despite having posed the same question twice in the last hour.

Sanji sighed out a cloud of smoke. "We haven't mysteriously generated any new vegetables since you last asked, Cross. I know you might not like it, but the fact is that we need to resupply. Though…" He grimaced darkly as he took in the… unsanitary state of the town. "I'll admit that I doubt anything we pick up will be quality material."

I sighed. "Alright, if there's no other choice… pass this on to the rest of the crew: if you see a sick old man beside a sick horse, an arrogant masked wrestler, or a fat, hairy man with missing teeth, steer the hell clear if you want to live."

Sanji gave me a cocky look. "What, you don't think we can take them?"

I returned the look with a flat stare. "They're the crewmates of the sniper who saw me flip him off from several miles away."

That caused Sanji to stiffen before he gripped his cigarette with renewed seriousness. "Right… fair enough. And for the record, what does that sniper look like?"

I snorted as I turned and started to walk away. "Wouldn't matter if I told you. He'd literally see any of us coming from a mile aw—ack!" I cut myself off as I caught sight of something a ways away. "Ahhh, sonnuva bitch…"

"What's wrong now, Cross?" Usopp groaned.

I ground my teeth as I nodded my chin down the dock. "That ship over there. Look at it."

Usopp followed my line of sight and caught sight of the oddly structured ship I was staring at. "Huh… yeah, I guess it does look kind of weird. Does it mean something to you?"

I pointed at the mouth-themed Jolly Roger displayed on the ship's upper sail. "Well, that symbol just represents trouble, annoying but manageable." I then scowled as I lowered my finger to indicate the crossed-out smiley face below the upper symbol. "But that? That represents cruel and unusual certain death."

"You can't be serious, Cross; two crews that we can't stand up to on the same island?" Sanji demanded with a snarl.

"Oh, no, you can take those guys, sure," I jerked my head at the ship with a shrug. "They're on a sane level compared to the other guys; heck, you could probably take them all out by yourself without breaking a sweat. No…" I shook my head firmly as I continued to glare at the ship. "It's their patron I'm worried about. Chances are he wouldn't care about us, but…" I finally shrugged my arms with a sigh. "Honestly, I'm just a bit annoyed because we're closer to them than I'd like."

"Would you care to elaborate as to who you're referring to, Mister Jeremiah?"

I raised an eyebrow at Robin. "Really? I'm surprised, Robin, you usually know this stuff." I jerked my thumb at the ship. "I'd especially expect you to recognize the flag of one of the greatest slavers the world's ever known."

Robin took one good look at the ship I was indicating and promptly stiffened. "Ah. Your fears are well-warranted."

"Damn straight."

"Is he that bad, Robin-chwan?" Sanji queried.

"Allow me to put it this way…" the archaeologist sighed despondently. "I've already had one near-death experience with a sadistic Warlord this month. I'm not keen on getting into another."

Sanji and Usopp snapped their gazes back to Bellamy's ship in obvious shock.

"Shit," Sanji summarized succinctly.

"I don't think I wanna dock here anymore…" Usopp whimpered uncomfortably.

A second later, a blood-curdling scream rang out from the town before devolving into a bloody gurgle. Not so much as a single bystander walking along the dock blinked.

"Now I really don't want to dock here anymore…" our sniper sobbed miserably.

"Oh, I don't know," Robin chuckled. "Personally, I find chaos-ridden locales to be quite… comforting." And with that, she shrugged and leapt down onto the dock. "Well, I'll be off. I'm afraid that if I continue borrowing from Vivi and Nami's wardrobes, one of them is going to try to murder me in my sleep."

"You really don't need to say that so matter-of-factly!" I called after her as she slid into the crowd with ease.

"Wait, Robin-chwan, you can't go out there alone!" Sanji cried out, putting his foot on the railing to dive in himself.

"Trust me, Sanji, she knows how to take care of herself," I replied as I grabbed him by the leg.

Before the cook could respond, a scream and the sound of snapping bone and cartilage rang out, followed by a ragged-looking muscleman stumbled into view, clutching a hand that seemed to be all broken fingers.

"Oh, yes, she'll be fine," I drawled.

Soundbite whistled in awe. "And that's the one we CAN SEE. THAT'S JUST COLD-BLOODED."

Sanji hesitated before sighing in defeat. "Yeah, alright, fair enough, but I still need to resupply, so!" He leapt down onto the dock. "I'll be seeing you guys later!"

"Wait up!" a voice barked out, followed by a pink-bandanna-d Dugong flipping her way onto the dock next to the cook. "Take me with you," Raphey pleaded desperately. "I'll act as a pack mule if I need to, but if I swear if I stay on this ship with those numbnuts for a second longer, someone is getting their shell cracked!"

Sanji blinked in surprise before shrugging and gesturing forwards. "Very well, then. After you, milady!"

Raphey snorted as she started wriggling her way down the boardwalk. "Believe me, lover boy, I'm a lot of things, but 'lady' is not one of them."

And with that, the duo made their way into town.

Usopp swallowed uncomfortably as he watched them leave. "Alright, so I guess that just leaves Zoro, Luffy, Masira—"

Without warning, Masira's large mass leapt past us and crashed down onto the dock, splintering the planks as he ran into the town. "Ook kee kee! Come on, Luffy! Let me show you around! The place is nuts, but it can also be fun!"

"Shishishi!" Luffy snickered as he shot past us, hot on Masira's tail. "Wait for me, gorilla-guy!"

Usopp swallowed heavily as our captain fell out of sight. "Ah… okay… still… at least Boss is here—"

"Sorry, but that's in-co-rrect, Usopp!" the Dugong in question barked as he flipped onto the Merry's railing. "Sorry to tell you this, but the fact is that my old rope-dart's starting to get on in age, and if I'm going to be fighting in the future, then I'm going to have to go out and get myself a new one, like a man!" He snapped out a salute. "Wish me luck!" And with that, he backflipped into the bay and out of sight.

Usopp gulped heavily again, visibly sweating by this point before slowly turning a nervous smile at me. "At least… you and Zoro—?"

I winced guiltily as I scratched the back of my head. "Yeeeaaah, loooook…"

"ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!"

"Sorry, Usopp," Nami said, frowning, coming up beside me. "But we've got things we need to talk about."

"And you can't do that here?!"

Nami opened her mouth, then closed it before looking at me. "Actually, why can't we do it here? We can just go to the storage room, nobody can overhear us there."

I shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not, but I wouldn't put it past her to pull it off somehow, especially after Mr. 3 managed it. Besides, it's easy to eavesdrop when it's silent. If you don't want to be overheard, you should go where too many people are making noise."

"Once again, Cross, I vehemently question your logic," Usopp snarled.

"You'll be fine, Usopp," I sighed, rolling my eyes. "Just pull up the gangplank and shoot anybody who tries to come up. Besides, you've got three dugongs, Chopper and Lassoo to help."

Usopp glanced pointedly behind him, where Lassoo was loudly snoring away, Chopper was deeply engrossed in his chemistry chest, twitching ever so slightly as he worked, and the three dugongs were arguing over… something. Whatever it was, it was very serious if the vehement hand gestures were anything to go by.

…ooor not, judging by the way Mikey had just grabbed Donney in a chokehold and was noogie-ing the hell out of him.

"How comforting," he spat.

"Hey, don't I count at all?!" Carue squawked indignantly.

"I DUNNO, do you?" Soundbite retorted, his eye cocked.

Carue raised his wing and opened his beak… before promptly shutting it. "Good point."

"Hey, are we ready to go?" Vivi asked, coming up onto the foredeck with Zoro.

She was wearing a dark yellow polo shirt with sleeves that reached down to her elbows and blue jean shorts that halted about mid-thigh. Her hair was pulled back in her typical ponytail and she was wearing a small variety of bracelets on her exposed arms.

"Yeah, just about," I nodded in agreement before looking at Usopp. "Hey, did you manage to finish before we got here?"

Usopp grimaced miserably. "If I said no, would you believe me and stay?"

"Eeee-nope."

The sniper groaned despondently as he dug through the pockets of his overalls. "Yeah, that's what I was afraid of…" He held out a bundle of cloth with a sigh. "Here. Just please get back here fast, I don't want to be left alone any longer than I need to be!"

"Yeah yeah, I got it," I nodded as I took the cloth and shook it out.

It was the cap Tashigi had given me back in Rainbase, dyed and redesigned in such a manner that I wasn't liable to take a bullet to the brain if any pirates caught me wearing it. The hat's fabric was now black, and the crown was emblazoned with a white cross-bones that was superimposed by a simplistic enough cross moline.

I slipped the hat over my head and looked around, letting everyone get a good look at it. "Well? What do you think?"

Soundbite whistled appreciatively. "SNAZZY, if a bit gangsta, BUT YOU PULL IT OFF!"

"You think so?" I said as I glanced down at myself. I was wearing an unzipped dark brown hooded vest over a long-sleeved white t-shirt with a bull-skull outlined over the chest. I also had on a pair of black cargo-jeans, the legs of which ended within my greaves.

"Yeah, it's not bad," Nami nodded in agreement. "The headphones and cap go well together."

"Well, alright, then!" I said, clapping my hands together. "Come on, guys, let's head out!"

-o-

The bar we ultimately chose had no patrons from either of the pirate crews that I was determined to avoid. No, this place was fit to be called Thugs-R-Us, even if that wasn't its name; we were just lucky that of the couple of patrons that had tried picking fights with us, none were remotely close to Zoro's weight class. With drinks on the house as a show of respect for his strength and a bribe to keep us from wrecking the place any further (which only Zoro drank immediately), the four of us remained relatively undisturbed in our booth.

I took a moment to glance around before snapping my fingers and indicating the air around me. Soundbite responded immediately, concentrating for a moment before filling the air with static that melded in seamlessly with the roar of the crowd, guaranteeing our privacy.

"Robin's clear on the other SIDE OF THE TOWN," he provided. "It's now or never."

I raised an eyebrow at the fact that he actually used her name before nodding in acknowledgement and looking at the others. "Alright, this is as good as it's going to get. Go ahead and ask whatever you want."

Vivi promptly slapped her palm on the table and leaned forwards with an accusing glare. "Why her, Cross?" she demanded without preamble. "After all she's done to us, why let her join? Why all but insist on it, for that matter?"

I sighed heavily as I leaned back in my seat, crossing my arms over my chest. "Because she's a good person and she deserves to be on this crew."

"GOOD PERSON?" Vivi snapped. "She's an assassin!"

"Vivi's right, Cross," Nami nodded in agreement. "Robin worked with Crocodile, she helped him hurt Alabasta."

"You're making a false assumption there!" I cut in promptly, sticking a finger up. "You're assuming she joined him willingly. That is categorically not true. Crocodile didn't hold a gun to her head, no, but she still had one there anyway."

Zoro narrowed his eyes. "What are you saying, Cross?"

"I'm saying that when Crocodile double-crossed her in the Alabasta catacombs, Robin had a vial of water at the ready," I explained, my voice low and icy. "I'm saying that from the moment she joined Baroque Works, she didn't trust Crocodile for a hot second. Hell, she knew that he was a double-crossing bastard from the start, she knew her life would be in danger if she worked for him, and she still joined Baroque Works. You know what that says?"

"That she's just as much a sadistic bastard as Crocodile is?" Vivi asked with enough venom to put down a Sea King.

I didn't let her tone faze me, instead leaning forwards so that I was staring her dead in the eye. "It means that he was her best option. Her only option." I grit my teeth as I thought back on the scarce scenes of horror I'd been treated to during her flashback. "Can you understand what I'm saying here? Can you comprehend the situation I'm describing, where working for Crocodile, knowing full well that he intends to kill you once he's done with you, is the only option left available to you?"

I took more than a little satisfaction in watching the blood slowly drain from Nami and Vivi's faces as realization swept over them, while Zoro merely tensed up slightly.

I nodded slowly. "I see you're starting to understand. Now, allow me to lay it out for you a bit: Vivi, Robin would gladly trade her own life for yours in a second in spite of your current situation. Why? Simple: while you might not be able to go home right now, and maybe not even ever, there is still the possibility of you being able to return and see your friends and family in the future. The World Government might have taken your home from you, but at least they've left it standing for the time being."

I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms with a sigh. "Robin doesn't have that luxury. She doesn't have family, she doesn't have anyone waiting, she doesn't even have an island to go back to, much less a home." I blew out a harsh breath as I scratched the back of my head. "And because of that stupid, stupid bounty on her head… well, we're the first friends she'll have had in almost twenty years. The first home, the first place she can lay her head down and sleep without fearing for her life. The only reason she ever became an assassin in the first place is that it was the only way she could survive. And she wasn't lying either; when Luffy saved her life, she was at the end of her rope. She'd grown so sick and fallen so deep into despair that she was ready to die in that crypt."

I slowly looked at each of my crewmates, making completely certain they understood what I was saying. "She has hit rock bottom. She came with us out of pure desperation because she has literally nowhere else to turn. If we'd turned her away… I don't even want to imagine. And at the end of the day, the fact is that she is a good person, whom the world as a whole has invariably shit upon, day after day after day without fail." I emphasized the words by jabbing the table with my finger. "She has more than earned her place on our crew, do you understand? She deserves to sail with us. With Luffy, with Sanji, with all of us."

I gave them all pleading looks. "She deserves a chance at what she's never had. At happiness. Can you give her that chance, please?"

Vivi looked like she was about ready to vomit, Nami's expression was ashen as she looked about ready to agree, and Zoro's expression was unreadable as he stared at me.

"What aren't you telling us, Cross?" he quietly demanded.

I shook my head firmly. "I'm not telling you that which I have no right to tell you. That's as much her story as Kuina and Bellemere are yours." The twitches from the two in question told me I'd hit the mark. "Just know that she'll tell us eventually, and when she does I'll tell her all about where my knowledge comes from. Alright?"

Vivi was silent as my fellow officers nodded before speaking up. "Can we trust her, Cross?"

"Let me put it this way," I said, spreading my hands out. "She won't give us any reason to mistrust her if we do the same thing. And if she does double-cross us, I guarantee you it won't be of her own free will."

The princess was impassively silent for the longest time as she thought and thought, before finally sighing and hanging her head. "I don't like her… I don't know if I can ever forgive her or trust her, but I'll give her a chance." She looked up and pinned me with a glare. "And if anything goes wrong, it'll be as much on your head as it'll be on hers."

I raised my hands in surrender. "Fair enough, fair enough." The current business done, I slid out of our booth and stretched my slightly stiffened limbs a bit, Soundbite cutting out his static as he did so. "Well! I'm going to go out and explore the town a bit. This is gonna be the last bit of peace and quiet we'll see for a while, sadly enough."

Nami slapped a hand to her face with a mutter of 'of course' before standing up as well. "Then in that case, we're going to find Luffy and try and keep him from making too much of a scene. Come on, Zoro."

"Why should I go with you!?"

"Because you owe me so much that I own you."

"AND YOU'D get so lost YOU'D WIND UP back in the East Blue!" Soundbite chortled eagerly.

"Watch it, slimestain," Zoro growled over our collective laughter as he jabbed a warning finger at the snail in question.

"Hey, Vivi, you want to come with?" I inquired curiously.

Vivi looked contemplative for a moment before shaking her head. "Thanks, but no thanks. I think I'll just go back to the Merry instead, check on Usopp's progress. Besides, I don't want Carue to panic. Have fun, Cross."

"Try not to get shot," Nami concurred.

"I cannot promise that!" I shot back over my shoulder as I walked out of the bar and into the street.

-o-

I sighed as I examined the neat bullet hole in my jacket. "I liked this jacket, you assholes," I complained to the pile of groaning, vomiting men in front of me. "Seriously, it's comfortable and easy to wear, it's form-fitting, it looks cool… ergh, and now it's got a freaking hole in it and Nami is never going to let me live this down."

"You… little…" one of the morons started to growl out, pushing himself up on his sword…

THWACK!

Until I snapped my leg forwards and gave his jaw a thoroughly solid crack.

"Honestly now," I shook my head with a sigh. "You are in a pirate town, a rough and tumble lawless place that the Marines wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. Why would you think that it was a smart idea to mug the one relatively scrawny guy who doesn't look nervous? It's just so stupid. And now, because of your stupidity, my jacket has a hole! It's just, it's just nonsensical!"

"Eh, I dunno," Soundbite shook his head side to side. "I THINK IT GIVES YOU CHARACTER!"

"You think so?" I blinked at him in surprise. "Huh, let's see…" I slipped my vest back on and looked it over. "Well, I'll be. You're right, it actually does look kind of good. It appears I might have overreacted a bit! My bad!"

I noticed a bit of motion in the corner of my vision and promptly stomped my heel down on the hand that I'd noticed reaching for a gun.

I rolled my eyes as one of the thugs screamed in pain. "Alright, so not entirely my bad. Now, I'm going to let you go with a warning. As it stands, you're all lucky that Soundbite's primary offensive attack is lethal only, otherwise I doubt any of you would be walking. But still, he is capable of reducing you to puking wrecks from a long ways away, so be good, or else I'll rip you all a new one! Bye, now!"

And with that, I turned and continued to walk down the street, whistling a jaunty tune as I went.

So far, my walk through the town had turned out exactly as I'd expected it to, rife with crime, vice, and overall moral corruption. And stupidity. Lots of stupidity. But I couldn't complain; thanks to Soundbite, that bullet hole was the worst that had happened to me, and I hadn't come across Blackbeard, Bellamy, or any of their crewmates that I recognized. And overall, as sickening as a lot of the things I was seeing were, it was kind of entertaining. A fight here, a brawl there… while Mock Town was indeed the 'Detroit' of this world, I couldn't help but admit that at least it had variety.

And honestly, seeing a badass-looking pirate cowering under the stern gazes and loud shouting of a bunch of prostitutes was funny as hell. At least, I'm pretty sure they were prostitutes. But overall? Nothing had gone wrong.

"So," I looked at Soundbite as I rounded a corner. "Any suggestions on where we head to next?"

"HMM…" Soundbite inclined his head contemplatively. "Sounds like SOMEBODY'S SINGING from the BOTTLE a few blocks away. SNACK AND a show?"

"Sounds fun," I nodded in agreement as I looked forwards. "So, whi…ch…" I trailed off listlessly as I stared down the street, only just managing to wrench my gaze forwards and keep my feet in motion. "Oh, God."

Soundbite blinked at me in confusion. "What—?"

"Don't look at me," I breathed sotto voce, cold sweat coating my body. "Don't look at anyone, don't look at anything, don't say a word. Unless you want to die or suffer a fate worse than death, then for the next few minutes you are a completely ordinary, slack-eyed Baby Transponder Snail."

Soundbite stiffened slightly on my shoulder, but a glance at him thankfully revealed that he was following my orders, looking as bored and tired as any other member of his kind.

And so, I continued to walk. I walked past pirates, I walked past criminals, I walked past the absolute scum of the earth as though absolutely nothing were wrong, walking like I'd been walking for the last few minutes.

I even continued this walk as I passed by the unmistakable form of Marshall D. Teach, despite the fact that my heart was hammering in my chest and that I could barely even breathe.

The giant, evil man had seemed completely oblivious to me as I passed him, thankfully more enraptured with the bottle of rum he was swilling than in his surroundings, but that did little to abate my terror. I knew, I knew that if I showed any fear, so much as a hint of recognition, then I would be dropped into the darkness before I had a chance to react, and that was not a fate I wanted.

Still, despite my gut-gnawing terror, I managed to make it past the fat bastard without visibly reacting. I mentally counted his pace in my head, keeping track of where he'd be about now without glancing back.

The second I was sure he'd turned a corner, I dove into the nearest alleyway I could find and plastered myself to the wall, gulping down breath after sweet breath. "Sweet donkey-fucking angels of mercy on high, that was too damn close."

"WHAT THE HELL was that about!?" Soundbite roared in confusion.

I pointed a shaky arm forwards, indicating the direction we'd come from. "T-the big one… the guy ten times bigger than me or anyone else in the street… t-t-that was Marshall D. Teach. Blackbeard."

Soundbite's eyes shot wide open in terrified recognition. "The asshat ACE IS HUNTING!?"

"The very same. If he'd recognized us, he'd have no doubt literally ripped you open for your fruit.

"T-T-THAT'S a thing?" he squeaked in terror.

I nodded solemnly. "It is with Teach. He did it to Whitebeard, took his powers after he died. His body looked untouched, but… I doubt you'd get that courtesy."

Soundbite swallowed heavily. "AND YOU DIDN'T tell Ace he WOULD BE HERE WHY!?"

I spun my finger in the air. "Collateral damage. We needed this island intact. At least if Ace sticks to the schedule, he'll fight him somewhere relatively clear of civilians. For now, though, we should be fine. My face isn't known and he rarely picks fights without reason, so just as long as we stay anonymous—!"

"Puru puru puru puru!"

"YEARGH!" I leapt nearly a foot off the ground as a sound pierced the air without warning. Soundbite was even more ticked about it.

"Puru puru puru puru! OH, COME ON! NOW, OF ALL TIMES?" Soundbite snarled incredulously.

I was inclined to agree with him, fumbling with the transceiver's mic and wrenching it out of its cradle with almost unseemly haste. "What?!" I hissed desperately.

Soundbite's expression promptly morphed into one of shock and concern. "Uh, Cross? Are you alright?"

I twitched as I acknowledged who was speaking before sighing and running a hand down my face. "Sorry about that, Tashigi, I'm a bit on edge, just dodged a meeting with a grade-A threat. What's up?"

Tashigi grimaced. "Well, first of all, I don't think we ever actually gave you the number of the Transponder Snail we bought for…" She sighed. "MI3. So, let me just give you that first…"

I glanced around for something to write with as she rattled off the number without any more warning, and found nothing.

"I've got it memorized," Soundbite said, cutting off my search.

"OK, good. Now, the main reason I wanted to call. Sengoku was… let's just say 'furious' at that 'in-depth tour' you gave of Impel Down—and one of these days, maybe, just maybe, I'll submit to your terms if it means learning how the hell you know all of that. Anyway, he sent orders to every base in the Grand Line after Alabasta; he's got a task force five battleships and three captains strong hunting for you now."

"Ugh, should have seen this coming. Alright, where are they heading?"

"Well, that's the good news," Tashigi beamed proudly. "Since we were the last ones to see you, we were able to steer the pursuit in the wrong direction to where we knew the Log Pose would send you next. They're heading in the direction of a place called Jaya."

The air practically froze over as I stared at Soundbite, who himself had adopted a panicked expression.

"I'm sorry, you sent them where?" I asked in a strained tone of voice.

"We said that we'd learned you had picked up an Eternal Pose for an island called Jaya," Tashigi repeated eagerly. "It's a complete backwater, doesn't even have a Marine Base nearby. Apparently local patrols avoid it like the plague. They'll be scouring the scum of the streets for weeks and won't find anything! Brilliant, huh?" Tashigi maintained her proud smile for a few seconds before blinking in confusion. "Uh, why are you looking at me like that?"

In response, I held up the transceiver's mike towards the street, letting it take in a full barrage of the noises of Jaya. Specifically, the fighting, the screaming, the raucous laughing, etc. etc.

By the time I drew the mic back, Tashigi's eyes were wide open. "You're… on Jaya?"

"It involves a ship falling from the sky, a crew of salvager sea monkeys, and the second biggest turtle we've ever seen."

"Oh-God-Commodore-Smoker's-going-to-kill-me-e-eeeee…" Tashigi sobbed miserably.

"Pull it together, Tashigi! How long do we have?!"

"…Twenty-four hours? Maybe less. Sane Marines don't disappoint Sengoku if they want to stay out of G5."

I mentally ran over the schedule for the day before sighing in relief. "OK, we'll be cutting it close, but I think we'll be able to make it."

"How!?" Tashigi sputtered incredulously. "From what I read, the log takes four days to reset, and even if you got another Eternal Pose, they'll still be coming at you in a spread-vice formation! If one of them catches sight of you, they'll hound you until you're sunk!"

I allowed a massive grin to slowly spread over my face. "Then I guess it's a good thing we won't be leaving the island in a traditional manner, isn't it?

Tashigi gaped for a moment more before plastering a studiously neutral look on her face. "You know what? I'm not even going to ask. I'll just wait for the inevitable SBS broadcast like everyone else."

"If you say so!" I snickered. "Well, thanks for the update, Tashigi. And good luck on your end!"

I made to hang up…

"WAIT!"

"GAH!" "Holy—!"

When I was interrupted by Soundbite suddenly hollering.

"Sonnuva—what the hell, Soundbite!?" I demanded in annoyance.

"TASHIGI, is there any news ON THE BAROQUE Works AGENTS?" Soundbite pleaded hastily.

Tashigi blinked in confusion through him before the sound of rustling paper passed through the connection. "Funny you should mention that. There was a mass breakout awhile back from the base we were holding them in. We still have Crocodile, thank God, he didn't even try and escape, but all agents from Mr. Four down managed to make a clean getaway, including Daz Bones' partner. There are some Marines looking for them, but overall they're not high priority. Why do you ask?"

"Yeah, Soundbite, why?" I questioned in agreement, a hint of dread entering my voice.

Soundbite swallowed heavily. "ALL agents from FOUR down?"

"Yesss, all of them. Why? What's this about?"

Cold sweat started running down Soundbite as he shivered heavily, slowly turning his gaze upwards. "No reason…" he squeaked in terror.

I followed Soundbite's line of sight, and froze with just as much terror.

"Tashigi?" I breathed. "Something's come up. I'm gonna have to call you back."

"Huh? What are you—? Wait, Cross—!"

I hung up on her before she could finish without looking. I was too busy staring upwards.

Staring up at the vicious, wrathful glares that were staring right back.

"…Alright, it's pretty obvious what you two are doing here," I began, trying to stay calm. "But I don't understand why. Nobody else from Baroque Works is trying to hunt down our crew for what we did, not even Crocodile! Shouldn't you be enjoying some kind of quiet retirement right now?"

"Hmph," Mr. 13 snorted as he tilted the akubra he was wearing back with the combat knife he was clutching, his voice an icy tenor that oozed with hatred. "We considered that when we broke out. And honestly, we might go for it one day, but after those 'visits'? No, we can't do that yet."

"We'll be glad to settle down and put Baroque Works behind us," Miss Friday concurred, still with the demonic voice Soundbite gave her before. An evil glint traversed the visor of her fighter pilot helmet. "After I've picked every last bit of flesh from your skeleton, and crushed that pest of a snail into paste."

"… fuck."

Patient AN: Sorry, everyone, but we're leaving you on another cliffhanger. We promise not to do it next chapter, however… I think.

Xomniac AN: Speak for yourself. XD

Hornet AN: WE FEAST UPON YOUR TEARS.