Chapter 26 - Jaya Pt 1 1/2

Cross-Brain AN: If you're wondering what the Cross-Brain is, it's the collective name we've come up with for ourselves, with 'we' being the three collaborative genius minds behind This Bites! The Patient One, invited on due to being a dedicated fan and proving to be an impulsive and creative mastermind, is the Id; CV12Hornet, due to being the voice of extreme reason, is the Superego; and Xomniac, due to being the voice of reason between the two and the original conceiver of the plot in the first place, is the Ego. We just decided to come up with a singular name for ourselves on account of how we work together so well, and we intend to continue doing so for the foreseeable future.

And with that said, on to the part you all care about: the madness!

As one would expect, the next few minutes, during which we dealt with the freaking galleon falling right on top of us, were… somewhat hectic, to say the least. Between the flying debris, the remains of the previous crew being flung this way and that, and the fact that the Merry was tossing and thrashing about like a 5-star roller coaster, everyone was scrambling around to keep us from capsizing, even while completely panicking.

Weeeell… almost everyone was panicking, anyways. I was laughing my ass off the entire time. Between the rush of the madness and the legitimately hilarious expressions on everyone's faces, why the hell wouldn't I be laughing!?

Sadly, as they say, all good things must eventually come to an end, and really, despite the galleon outsizing the Merry a good ten-to-one, there was only so much ship that could fall.

Once the waves from the galleon's crash settled down and there was no more stray debris left to fall on us, everyone took a moment to calm down, with most standing around and eyeing the sky nervously as they tried to catch their breath, while the more… weak-willed members of the crew huddled together for safety.

I, for my part, was laying spread-eagled on the deck and giggling myself ten kinds of silly. "Pffhahahahaaaaaa!" I wheezed semi-hysterically, my chest hurting from laughing so much. "That was awesome! Oh, my God, I love this crew so-oo-oooo much! Say, can we go aga—GYERK!"

My innocent question was cut off by Vivi bodily tackling me and repeatedly bouncing my skull off the deck as she throttled me.

"You. Will. Shut. Up. And. Stop. Causing. This. Shit. TO. HAPPEN!" Vivi shrieked hysterically, each shake of my neck accompanied by an audible "wocketa" sound. The only reason she didn't keep going until I saw angels was that Carue bodily dragged her off me, and she did not come quietly!

"Thank you, Carue," I wheezed as I massaged my throat.

"Don' thank me, Cwoss, I'm with her, you're nuts!"

"Well, in that case, screw you," I amended in the same tone of voice. "And Vivi? In case you've forgotten, it's on captain's orders that I've been keeping my mouth shut in the first place!"

"What the hell are you—?" Vivi started to snarl before I surreptitiously inclined my head towards the newest member of our crew, who was busy eyeing the fallen galleon's remains. "…ah."

"Yeah…" I nodded in agreement. "And besides, the whole mystery about this is about to become obvious in three… two… one…"

"YEARGH!"

"There it is!" Soundbite snickered as Nami loosed a shriek of mortal terror.

Vivi rolled her eyes at me before moving to Nami's side. "What's wrong, Nami?"

"The Log Pose is broken!" she shouted back.

That got a panicked reaction out of the princess. "WHAT!?" she yelped, grabbing our navigator's wrist and yanking it up to eye level. "Oh, nononono—!" she started to stammer on repeat with all the composure of a barbeque-sauce-soaked cat in a dog pound… that was stuffed to the gills with rocking chairs.

"Broken? I bought the most durable model I could find in Loguetown!" I protested, putting only a token effort into said protest. After all, I was totally confident in the Log's efficacy.

"Nononono—huh? Wait a second…" And so was Vivi, apparently, given how she stopped panicking once she actually got a good look at the thing. "Uh, Nami, what are you talking about? The Log Pose is fine. The glass isn't cracked, the needle's base isn't bent, it's in pristine condition." She cocked an eyebrow appreciatively. "As a matter of fact, now that I get a good look at it, you seem to have kept it in better condition than most usually do. Do you polish it every day?"

"Well, of course, twice a day, I have to—THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Nami cut herself off with a shriek of rage. "It's pointing to the freaking sky! How can you think it's not broken?"

"Nami," Vivi said sharply, cutting off the navigator's rant before it could start. "I've lived my entire life in the Grand Line, and I've spent the last two years traveling it as part of Baroque Works. If there's one lesson I've learned in that time, it's that the Log Pose is the only reliable guide in this ocean; common sense is a guide for fools. Even on dry land!"

"I can support that as well," came another voice, and Vivi stiffened as Robin approached them. "I've spent the last decade or so traveling these waters, and a malfunctioning Log Pose is not on the long list of incredible things I've seen during that time; if you've followed it this far and the glass is intact, then the Log Pose is functioning fine. It must be pointing to a Sky Island."

"SKY ISLAND? ARE YOU NUTS!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SMART ONE!" Nami snapped before turning a pleading look to Vivi. "Vivi, you don't— can't believe that… can you?"

The grimace Vivi adopted killed any hope Nami might have had. "As much as I hate to say it—" She shot a murderous glare at Robin, who weathered it with her ever-present smile. "And believe me, I do hate to say it…" she muttered before shaking off the expression. "The fact is, given the evidence, I'm more inclined to agree with her theory than yours."

"I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS!" Nami screamed, yanking at her hair in desperation.

"So, what else IS NEW?" Soundbite piped up with a grin. "Besides, how else do you EXPLAIN THAT SHIP FALLING FROM the sky?"

"Hey, look at you being all smart and logical and stuff!" I grinned as I pointed at the snail.

Nami opened her mouth to respond, but no coherent sound came out.

"Uh, actually," Donney spoke up, sticking his flipper into the air. "I can probably explain that. Have any of you ever heard of the Knock-Up Stream?"

His response was silence and blank stares, though Robin looked thoughtful, most likely because she had heard of it before.

"Well, simply put," the purple-banded dugong started to explain. "It's a natural disaster that happens in the Grand Line… about once a week on average, though the location always varies. Subterranean caverns fill up with natural gas, and when the subsequent pressure reaches its breaking point, the roof of the cavern yields, and the escaping gas forms a maelstrom on the surface—"

He trailed off at the blank looks that most of the crew was giving him, and especially at the fact that Mikey was snoring, and slapped his fin to his face with a sigh. "Alright, let me dumb it down for you: gas builds up on the ocean floor. When there's enough of it, it makes a whirlpool, then it makes water shoot up in a geyser about as wide as the Octopus Shogunate, and a few miles tall. They're easily strong enough to send a ship flying higher than the clouds; heck, they could probably send a whole island flying. Did you understand that?"

Everyone started to nod and 'oh' and 'ah' in understanding, obviously accepting the dugong's explanation.

I rolled my eyes with a sigh and prepared to rebutt the Dugong… when a much more amusing idea came to me. I glanced at the snail on my shoulder with a slowly widening grin.

"Soundbite, when I say the name 'Phoenix'…" I started before grinning even wider as Soundbite smiled and nodded in agreement. "Perfect. Appropriate music, please, aaand OBJECTION!" I yelled loudly, slamming my hands on a conveniently-placed crate as an intense, suspenseful beat filled the air.

"GAH!" Donney yelped, jerking back in panic. "W-what—!?"

"What the heck are you talking about, Cross?" Zoro asked wearily. "Objection? To what?"

"To Donney's explanation, of course!" I answered as I pointed at the dugong in question. "There is a huge contradiction in his testimony!"

"'Testimony'?" Usopp, Nami and Vivi repeated in confusion.

Robin, meanwhile, had tilted her head with a smile that said she was going to go along with the turn of events. "A contradiction you say, Mister Tact—Hm?" she tilted her head questioningly before shrugging in acceptance. "Very well, then. A contradiction you say, Mister Lawyer? And what, pray tell, would that contradiction be?"

"Hmph! Really, now, it's completely obvious when you examine the statement!" I sniffed as I held up a piece of paper and tapped it with the back of my hand.

"Uh, Cross, where did you—MMPH!?" Chopper jumped in confusion when Luffy clapped his hands over the reindeer's mouth.

"Shhh, quiet, this is getting good!" Luffy quietly squealed.

"As Donney clearly stated earlier, a Knock-Up Stream is heralded by a massive maelstrom of water draining into the seabed, followed soon after by a gargantuan pillar of water exploding into the air! HOWEVER!" I snapped my finger at Donney, causing him to flinch again. "We saw no such maelstrom or pillar anywhere near us! If it had occurred, we would have obviously borne witness to it! Thus, the obvious conclusion we can draw is that it was not the Knock-Up Stream that caused the ship to fall on us!"

"Grk!" Donney jolted with a stricken expression, obviously taken aback.

The rest of the crew started to mutter amongst themselves in agreement, with Soundbite enhancing it into an incomprehensible mess.

However, Donney wasn't quite done yet, which he demonstrated by regaining his bearings and raising a flipper. "Uh, actually—huh?" the bo-staff wielder tilted his head in confusion. "What? But that doesn't—! Why should I—!? But, but—! Ergh, fine, fine!" He slapped his flipper to his face in exasperation. "Ergh, this is completely nuts, I can't believe I'm doing this… alright, let's just get this over with. HOLD IT!" he barked, snapping his finger up at me.

I jerked back in over-exaggerated shock. "GAH!"

Robin, meanwhile, graced the dugong with an amused smile. "You have something to say, Mister Prosecutor?"

"Mister Prose—why are you playing along with the maddening charade!?" Donney hissed, flailing his flippers in desperation.

"What, you mean you aren't having fun?" Robin asked innocently.

"Grgghrgghh…" Donney's eye twitched furiously before he swapped his gaze over to me. "Alright, look, I wanted to say that the Knock-Up Stream is a massively powerful force of nature! Chances are that it could have struck the ship miles away from here, far from our line of sight, and flung it at us!" Donney slammed his flippers down on the barrel before him. "There is no reason to think that that ship came from anywhere else!"

"GYERK!" I flinched back as the crew started muttering amongst themselves again.

"Hm… Mister Prosecutor does make a valid point…" Robin mused as she rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Your rebuttal, Mister Lawyer? If you cannot come up with an explanation for how the ship fell from the sky, then I will have no choice but to pass my verdict now."

"Did she just say 'verdict'?" Vivi repeated in confusion.

"Yeah, I have no idea what's going on, best to just go with it…" Nami sighed in defeat as she massaged her temples.

"Though you do gotta admit, this is kind of entertaining…" Usopp shrugged.

No sooner had he finished that sentence than Sanji twirled up to where they were sitting, a pair of drinks on the platter he was carrying. "Refreshments for miladies?" he offered Vivi and Nami.

"Oooh, don't mind if I do!" Nami said, eagerly taking one and passing the other to Vivi, who for her part sighed in exasperation.

"Might as well watch the madness…" she grumbled as she took a sip from her straw.

"And where the hell is my drink, swirly brow?"

"In the bathroom, mosshead."

"YOU WANNA SAY THAT TO MY FACE, SHIT COOK?!"

"READ MY LIPS, CRAP SWORD—!"

SLAM! SLAM!

"ORDER! ORDER IN THE COURT!"

"Thank you, Soundbite," Robin nodded appreciatively.

"Go burn, WITCH BITCH!"

"And as for you, Mister Lawyer, your rebuttal?" she said as she moved her gaze on to me.

"Um, er, ah…" I slumped forwards nervously, sweat pouring down my face as I tried to come up with an explanation. Well, at least one that didn't involve extraterrestrial knowledge, anyways.

Donney adopted a cocky expression, puffing his chest out as he smirked at me. "It's over, Cross! You don't have any more angles you can exploit!"

I blinked in realization as I processed his words. "Wait, angle… that's it! HOLD IT!" I barked, jabbing my finger at the amphibious mammal.

"Huh?!" Donney blinked in confusion.

"You have something to say, Mister Lawyer?" Robin asked.

"Indeed I do!" I nodded confidently. "For you see, there is still one angle I can exploit in this case!"

"What!?" my opponent dugong yelped.

"If you would elaborate, Mister Lawyer?" our psuedo-judge requested.

"It's quite simple, ma'am." I nodded as I started tapping on a piece of paper anew. "As you'll recall, my opponent suggested that the ship could have fallen down due to being flung by the Knock-Up Stream. However, there is evidence that contradicts this assertion!"

I pointed straight up. "The angle of the ship's descent itself!"

"Wh-what!?" Donney jerked in shock.

I planted my fists on my hips. "As we all know, if we were to fling an object forwards from us, that object would travel for a distance before finally falling to the earth due to gravity. However, due to its velocity from being flung, it would not fall straight down. Rather…" I snapped my finger out at Donney. "It would fall on a curve!"

"A-a curve?" Donney repeated with a stammer as he tried out to work out what I was saying. "But, w-what does that—GRK!" He stiffened in shock as realization swept over him. "N-no, no you can't mean—!"

"I see you understand!" I smirked. "Indeed, while flung objects descend on a downward curve the ship that fell on us fell straight downwards! Hence, your assertion that it could have been flung here by the Knock-Out Stream is physically impossible!"

"GAH!" Donney recoiled, visibly stricken.

"Furthermore—!"

SLAM!

"GAH!" I jumped in shock when Nami cracked her Clima-Tact over my crate.

"Get to the point or I'll lodge my objection in your skulls," she growled impatiently.

"Aw, just when it was getting good…" Mikey groaned.

SLAM!

"Anyone else have anything they want to add?" the navigator growled as she stood over the thoroughly concussed dugong.

I swallowed before nodding hastily. "T-the fact that the ship fell from straight down means that it only could have fallen off of something from above us! I-I-I realize that it sounds nuts and that there might not appear to be anything in the sky, but…" I gave her a determined look. "The fact is that Sky Island is up there, and our primary priority should be to find some way to get up there."

"The evidence is clear. The court rules in favor of the defendant, Mister Jeremiah Cross," Robin stated, holding up her gavel. "Case—!"

Nami jerked her face up close to Robin's with a growl. "Put that hammer back wherever the hell you got it from, and don't you dare finish that sentence. Got it?"

Robin slowly lowered her hand with a carefully neutral expression. Then Nami turned her gaze on Soundbite, who promptly ceased the Phoenix Wright soundtrack.

"Good. Now, the best place to get information on… ergh, Sky Island (can't believe I'm actually buying this) is from the ship that came from it in the first place, so—!"

"Hey, guys!" Luffy waved from the part of wreck he was clambering over. "You gotta check this out! There's something really cool over here!"

"Yeah, there's something over here too!" Usopp called from the part of the ship he was on.

"Wait fo' me, guys!" Carue squawked in agreement, following behind the sniper.

Nami had clearly passed the threshold of normal rage if the downright demonic expression and voice she had as she spoke to Robin again was any indication. "Have you ever wanted to just take a lighter and set the whole world on fire?" she hissed.

Robin took on a slightly far-off look. "Every day for the past twenty years…" she breathed wistfully to herself.

Between that and Nami's rage, I elected to take a big step back from the two of them. "Aaaand that's just disturbing..." I muttered.

"Did you expect anything else from them?" Lassoo huffed tiredly.

I jumped in shock before turning a disbelieving eye on the mutt-gun. "Have you been sleeping this entire time?!"

Lassoo shrugged indifferently as he shifted his not-inconsiderable mass around a bit. "Eh, without a fight, not much reason for me to be awake, is there?"

"A ship NEARLY FELL ON US!" Soundbite squawked indignantly.

Lassoo snorted, rolling onto his back. "Welcome to the Grand Line. Wake me up when there's something for me to actually do." And with that, he let out a snore and presumably fell back to sleep.

"…right!" I clapped my hands firmly, trying desperately to move things along. "So, does anyone have any idea on where this ship is supposed to be from, anyways?"

Thankfully, the dual calls of archaeology and finding some way to fix our Log Pose were enough to draw two-thirds of our crew's female population—I felt a chill run up my spine, originating from the direction of the TDWS. Scratch that, half of our crew's female population, out of their violent delusions.

Robin proceeded to display her ever-impressive skillset, analyzing the corpse in one of the coffins that had fallen on the deck of the Merry and extrapolating the St. Briss' name and origin from there. Honestly, the casualness with which Robin handled the human remains was a little bit disturbing, but it was an impressive enough feat that I could shove the thought to the back of my mind.

Unfortunately, by the time we'd dedicated ourselves to searching the wreck for any clues or answers, it had already sunken beneath the waves. As it was, the Dugongs had to scramble to save our buoyant-as-a-brick captain from going down with a vessel that wasn't his.

Still, in the end, at least we managed to pull out something useful from the ordeal.

"Skypiea…" Nami breathed as she looked over the weathered map she was holding.

"We did it!" Luffy whooped, dancing around hand-in-hand-in-hoof with Usopp and Chopper. "We're actually going to a Sky Island!"

"Sky Island, Sky Island, we're all going to Sky Island!" the other thirds of the Dumbass Trio sang in agreement.

"So, we're actually going up to the sky," Leo mused before glancing at the bo-staff wielder. "You think it's actually possible, Donney?"

"It sounds insane, but…" the dugong trailed off as he looked upwards. "Honestly, the more I see of the Grand Line in general…"

"Common sense is insanity, and insanity is common sense, even I know that," Raphey shrugged indifferently.

"Ah, who the heck cares about the details? The fact is that we're going up to the sky! This is gonna be kickass!" Mikey cackled.

"Down, boy," Boss chuckled as he rapped his fist over the nunchuk-wielder's skull. "We'll get there in time, we just need to figure out how first."

"Well, why don't we ask our resident expert on the Grand Line?" Zoro asked, pointedly turning towards me.

I, in turn, twitched in panic before jerking my head towards our newest crewmate, a rictus grin plastered on my face. "Yes, let's ask Robin. After all, she's been traveling the Grand Line longer than any of us, right? And her first thought was that there was a Sky Island up there."

Zoro, thankfully, redirected his attention, though if I was reading the sudden tension in Robin's stance right, he had just made me more suspicious in her eyes. Nevertheless, she answered, "Well, I've never seen it myself. But to my knowledge, it's more than merely an island; there's an entire sea above us."

Nami groaned. "…Alright, even if we assume that this is all true, how are we supposed to get to the sky in the first place?"

"Mm… it's difficult to say…" Vivi mused, cupping her chin thoughtfully. "I imagine that, with enough expertise, a ship could be engineered to somehow, well, reach the clouds… but the fact remains that the St. Briss looked like a normal ship, so there must be some way up there…"

"I propose looking into Mister Dugong's explanation," Robin offered. "While I agree with Mister Tactician about the Knock-Up Stream not being the reason for the ship coming down on us, he did say that it's capable of sending ships flying, yes?"

"Would it kill you to use our names? There are four 'Mister Dugongs' here," Mikey grumbled, earning a dope-slap from Boss with a mutter that sounded like 'manners.'

"But as it stands, I doubt that the process is as simplistic as that," Robin shrugged, ignoring the amphibians' exchange. "No matter how you look at it, the fact is that we don't have enough information to act on. Perhaps there could be more information on the ship?"

"Then we'll just have to salvage it!" Nami nodded firmly.

There was a brief pause as we digested that idea. "You're insane," Zoro flatly summarized.

"You do weawize dat dat ship outweighed da Mewwy almost ten-pwanks ta one, wight?!" Carue concurred.

"He's right…" I nodded slowly before clapping my hands firmly. "So, if we can't bring the ship to us, then we go to the ship. Usopp, we need diving suits, on the double!"

"Now, hold on there," Boss interrupted. "Why don't you just let my students and I go down? I mean, we can't breathe underwater, no, but we can hold our breaths long enough to fake it! What's wrong with us just going down and getting what we need ourselves?"

"Simple!" I shot back. "You're going down to explore a recently sunken wreck that was presumably packed with dozens of human corpses."

"So!?" Boss snorted.

SPLOOSH!

I didn't even need to turn around to know what had just breached the water behind me. The crew's terror-stricken expressions and the bestial groan that rippled the air were answer enough.

Well, that and Soundbite crowing out a panicked "THAR SHE BLOWS!"

I waited for the sound of the scavenging Sea King to sink back beneath the waves before patting Boss's frozen shoulder. "SO, you're either gonna need more dugongs, or more muscle, if you want to make it down there without becoming intimately familiar with a sea king's internal anatomy." And with that, I shifted my attention over to Usopp. "So, about those diving suits?"

As Usopp got to work jury-rigging a diving rig, I took the opportunity to pull Boss aside for a… relatively private conversation. "I've got a bit of a request for you and your students while you're down there."

Boss cocked his eyebrow at me as he chewed on his cigar. "You mean besides the intel on how to get to the sky we're already looking for?"

"Besides that, yes," I nodded in confirmation. "I'm hoping that you'll be able to find something from Sky Island that the guys will overlook, and honestly, I think you and yours are the best chance we have of finding them."

"Really, now?" He took his cigar out of his mouth and tapped it contemplatively. "And this goal of ours would be…?"

"Seashells."

Both Boss and Soundbite looked at me in shock.

"You're MAD," the snail stated flatly.

"No, I assure you, I'm quite sane," I only half-lied. "I realize it'll be tough, but I'm confident that the shells I want you to find will be down there. Maybe not many, good chance they cracked, but hopefully some survived. They take a variety of shapes and sizes, but they're primarily conical in nature, spirally. Also, unlike normal shells, they'll all be solid colors all the way, instead of a variety. They'll also have moving parts like buttons on them, but you'll want to avoid touching those if you can, alright?"

Boss chewed firmly on his cigar as he contemplated my request before nodding slowly. "Sounds like a challenge… but hell, my students and I love our challenges." He gave me a manly thumbs-up. "We'll get you your shells if they're down there, Cross, you can bet your bottom beri on it!"

I nodded gratefully. "That's all I ask."

A few minutes later, three diving-suited monsters, and five martial-artist dugongs dove off the side of the ship, swiftly sinking into the depths and only slowed by the brake a Heavy Point Chopper was operating, while Carue jumped up and down on the oversized bellows Usopp had jury-rigged and Nami, Vivi, and the sniper himself stood by the pipes used to convey both air and sound. In case of the event that they moved too far for us to hear, Sanji had taken Pinky along with him and Zoro had taken Brain… and if the way Soundbite was laughing his head off was any indication, the four were getting along about as well as Zoro and Sanji normally did. I myself was just starting to relax, ambling around towards the stairs to the quarterdeck…

"Mister Tactician, may I have a word, please?"

When I was jerked out of my idle thoughts by a voice that was far too calm for my liking.

"I can make this REALLY loud…" Soundbite muttered beneath his breath.

I felt my teeth dig into my lip as I calmed my nerves before replying. "No, you are going to keep this quiet." I didn't wait for him to respond before turning around to face the positively terrifying pillar of a woman that was our archaeologist. "You have something you want to ask me, Robin?"

Robin—no, 'Devil Child' Nico Robin gave a frigid smile, the motion entirely physical in nature. "I believe it's time you gave me some answers, Mister Tactician." I made to ask what she meant, but the way she stepped forwards and cut me off told me she already knew what I was about to say. "Don't deny it, Mister Tactician, you have information you can't possibly possess. You knew Princess Nefertari's identity before the rest of your comrades even knew Alabasta existed. You knew the capabilities of the Baroque Works Officer Agents without even laying eyes on most of them. You even knew that that ship was going to fall on us. I've relied heavily on eavesdropping since I first ate my Devil Fruit, and as such, I can say with certainty that even with your pet's range—"

"Watch it," Soundbite snarled, starting to vibrate the air with an ever so slight hum.

"—you could not possibly have gathered that much information. So, I want to know how you know."

"…and if I choose not to tell you, Nico Robin?" I finally asked in a low tone of voice. I didn't want to address her like that, but if she was going to play hardball, then I couldn't afford not to play it right back.

Robin stepped even closer, positioning herself just so, so that she was managing to loom, despite she and I being in the same height range. "You're a smart person, Jeremiah. Smart, if slightly foolish. Use your imagination, and rest assured…" She trailed her fingers on my cheek without unfolding her arms. "I won't leave a mark."

Soundbite looked about ready to start an audio-based riot, rip her hand off, or both, but before he could take any form of action, I backhanded the limb away and pushed her back. "I. Am not. Afraid of you," I enunciated clearly and calmly, firmly refusing to give her so much as an inch of ground to work with. "And either way, I do plan on telling you what I know, and the dugongs as well. The reason why I haven't is that the information I have is intensely sensitive. And though I want to trust you…" I paused for a moment before sighing heavily. "The fact is that I can't completely until you join this crew. Not hitch a ride with us," I snapped when she started to say something. "Not force your way on, I mean when you actually join, when you consider yourself part of the crew."

I fell silent for a moment as I stared at her before sighing and pinching the bridge of my nose. "The reason Luffy let you onboard and I didn't report you stowing away is that both he and I can see good in you. We know you're not the monster you make yourself out to be, that so many say you are, but as much as I want to, I can't trust you unconditionally until you can do the same in turn. And it's clear from the fact that you refuse to use any of our names as anything but weapons that you don't trust us that much yet. So, I'm sorry, but I can't tell you what I know and why. Not yet."

Robin stared at me with an indecipherable expression, scanning me up and down and obviously searching me for some flaw she could exploit. Roughly a minute later, she smiled again, this time with much more warmth… a little too much for me to think it was sincere, in fact. "Are you certain about that, Cross?" She stepped up close to me… very clo—ooooh, boy, so that was her game. "Are you certain there's… nothing I can do to change your mind?" she purred into my ear. "Nothing at all?"

I absolutely wrestled with my body, making sure to stay absolutely still as I tried to construct a coherent response… and in the end, I could only default to one option.

"I'll tell you everything that I know," I grit out through clenched teeth. "If you do one thing."

"Anything…" Robin breathed, her hand starting to slide somewhere.

I didn't wait to find out where, instead grabbing her wrist and taking a step back from her. "You tell the crew about the day Ohara died."

The change hit Robin like a lightning bolt, every muscle in her body positively locking up and old, deeply ingrained terror flaring up in her eyes as the breath rushed out of her lungs in a ragged, emotion-filled gasp.

Soundbite's eyes widened in shock. "Holy shit…"

"What—?" Robin started before being cut off by a fit of tremors. She was forced to swallow heavily and try to regain control her emotions before trying again. "What do you know about Ohara." It was a demand, not a question.

I glanced around Robin, confirming that none of the crew were nearby before leaning in and looking her dead in the eye. "More than anyone still alive besides you. Enough to know that what happened was the absolute epitome of a tragedy and an atrocity, and enough to know that the meaning of the word 'Justice' has been irrevocably sullied by what happened. It's one of many reasons why I started the SBS in the first place." I trailed off uncomfortably as I took in the terrified expression Robin bore before speaking again. "Look, I'm sorry I had to use their memories as a weapon, Robin, but the fact is that until you can trust us with that… I can't trust you. Understand?"

Robin's mouth opened and shut helplessly, obviously at a complete and utter loss for words.

Before she could say anything, however, she was broken out of her paralysis by a din of whistling, cymbals, and voices approaching us from a distance. Robin glanced in the direction of the noise before shooting a glare at me that would have been much scarier had she not still been half-panicked.

"This isn't over," she warned me shakily before stalking off, only just managing to pull her devil-may-care facade back into place.

"The absolute hell it is…" I breathed to myself in agreement.

"Ohara?" Soundbite questioned hesitantly.

"Ever see an entire island, people and all, perish in fire in less than an hour?"

"No…" Soundbite shook his head slowly, obviously dreading whatever I was planning on saying.

"She has; that's what happened to her home when she was eight," I told him solemnly. "She was the only survivor, and the World Government's been hunting her ever since."

Soundbite stiffened before slowly turning his gaze after Robin, finally managing to breathe out an awed "…holy shit…"

I tsked darkly as I marched towards the main deck. "Believe me, Soundbite, there was nothing holy about that day."

Soundbite didn't reply as I approached where the rest of my crewmates were standing, looking up at the massive monkey-themed ship and crew that was pulling up alongside the Merry, their chant of "Salvage! Salvage the Sea!" grating on my ears almost as bad as punk metal. Finally, the ship came to a stop.

"Are we on top of the place where the ship sank?" barked an authoritative voice.

"Aye-aye, captain, sir!" answered the crew.

"Ohhhh…" Soundbite began to sing, prompting me to slap a hand on his shell and force him back in.

"Not a word about the yellow thing that must not be named," I hissed, before considering. "… at least, not until we meet the talking starfish."

"HA!"

"Could you two focus, please!?" Vivi demanded.

"When they say 'captain' and 'sir,' they're talking about me!"

Our attention was drawn back to the odd ship by the bark of the same voice as before, whose owner was revealed to be a bulky, hairy man with wide lips, orange overalls, and a tail (real or not, to this day I neither know nor am eager to find out) standing on the ship's stem. "Prepare to raise the ship! What lies on the bottom now belongs to the king of all salvagers: captain of the Masira Pirates, Masira! Ook kee kee!"

The crew onboard responded with hooting cheers, obviously as pumped up as their captain was.

"Well, these guys are completely nuts…" Nami muttered before looking at me. "Do you think these guys will be a problem, O great and wise tactician, or should we just wait and see?"

I shot her a cocky smirk. "What, you didn't enjoy the surpri—?" THWACK! "YEOWCH!" I cut myself off with a yelp as I cradled my slugged arm. "Geeze, tough crowd… Alright, alright, I'll handle this. Soundbite, Gastro-Amp. AHOY, THERE!" I waved at Masira in an attempt to draw his attention. "Sorry to bother you, but did you just say that you're getting ready to salvage that ship below us?"

"Huh?" Masira blinked at me in confusion before pumping his chest out. "Yeah, that's right! These waters are my territory; every vessel that sinks in these parts automatically becomes mine!" He scowled challengingly at us. "Why do you ask? You're not trying to take something that belongs to me, are ya?"

I shrugged innocently as I pointed at the crewmates on his ship that were suiting up and preparing to dive, pointedly ignoring the frantic gestures Usopp and Carue were making. "Nah, just trying to tell you that if you're sending anybody down, you should warn them to be careful. We've got our own guys down there, and if you try and lay your hands on them, they're liable to lay their hands on you. And by 'lay their hands on', I mean they'll put their fists through your helmets."

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?" the majority of my crewmates hollered at me in disbelief.

"Oh, really?" Masira growled. Then, in an impressive display of strength, he leapt the full distance from the bow of his ship to the railing of ours, causing everyone onboard aside from Boss, Robin, and myself to retreat several paces. "And what gives you the idea that you can just invade my territory, steal my property, and threaten my crew?"

"Take a step back, Monkey-Breath," Lassoo growled, shifting in less than two seconds from a drowsy sunbathing dog to an attack hound, teeth bared at Masira.

"Down, boy," I ordered nonchalantly as I waved him off, cocking an eyebrow at the other pirate's show of machismo. Honestly, Friday and 13 had been way scarier than this guy. Heck, I lived with scarier people. "And to answer your question, simple: the law of finders fucking keepers. We had boots on that ship before it sank. Hell, it literally fell into our laps, almost sinking our ship. We deserve dibs on the salvage."

Masira's stance became less menacing, though he still frowned heavily. "I don't care if you sank that ship or not, the fact is that once it fell beneath the waves, all the treasure on it became mine! Now either get your guys out of there and leave or—!"

"But we don't even want the treasure onboard that ship, if there is any!" I hastily interrupted.

"Excuse me!?"

"Will you shut the hell up, woman?" I desperately hissed out of the corner of my mouth, my eyes never leaving Masira.

The ape-man, meanwhile, had crossed his arms and was staring at me curiously. "You don't want treasure? Then what the heck do you want?"

"Information," I said, crossing my arms. "You didn't hear me earlier. When I said that that ship fell into our laps, I wasn't kidding around, I was being literal. That ship fell onto us from out of the freaking sky. We think that it might have come from a Sky Island and we want to follow it up there."

Masira's eyes and mouth both widened in obvious shock. It took a minute or so for him to speak again. "Sky Island? A-are you serious!?"

Nami shot a glare at me as she walked up before holding up her wrist. "See for yourself. I think it's crazy, but, well, the Log doesn't lie… I think…"

Masira's eyes and mouth dropped wide as he took in the abnormally vertical needle. "Shoujou said that the wreck came from out of nowhere…" he breathed before jerking back in shock. "HOLY CRAP, IT REALLY FELL FROM THE SKY!"

"Eeyup!" I nodded in agreement. "And we're searching it now for any clues on how it got up there in the first place! It's a longshot, sure, but worth a try anyway." I snapped my fingers in faux-realization. "Say, how about this? You help us salvage the ship, we'll let you have all the treas-ah—ARGH!" I yelped in agony as Nami grabbed my shoulder in a goddamn vice, forcing me to hastily amend what I was saying. "A-a-a percentage of the treasure! To be negotiated at a later date!" I sighed in relief as Nami let me go before plastering an eager grin on my face. "So, what do you say, Captain Masira? Think you could help us with this completely impossible journey?"

At that, the ape-man broke into a full-blown grin before shooting a thumbs-up at me. "You got it, kid!"

My eye twitched furiously as my arm jerked towards my belt. "Starting to get a complex about that, either call me by my name or get brained."

Masira chuckled apologetically as he scratched the back of his head, moving down from the railing onto the deck. "Ah, sorry about that. What's your name, then?"

I took a moment to calm myself down before grinning and holding my hand out to the ape-man. "I'm Cross. Jeremiah Cross, third mate of the Strawhat Pirates."

"Ook kee!?" Masira's jaw dropped wide as he stared at me in shock. "Wait, you mean that you're that Jeremiah Cross? The one who hosts that awesome SBS show?! I thought your voice sounded familiar!" He blushed and scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Ah, man, this is really embarrassing! My brother Shoujou and I are huge fans of your show! Geeze, chances are that he's gonna kill me for being so rude to you! Oh, and you must be Soundbite! Wow, this is such an honor, I'm a great fan!"

All I could do was blink in shock as I processed the new turn of events. "Well, now…"

"Holy wow," Soundbite concurred.

"Good grief…" Lassoo groaned, flopping back onto his stomach.

"H-hey, wait a second!" Chopper yelped hastily, jabbing a finger upwards. "What about our flag?! Our Jolly Roger's emblazoned on the sail and flag! How could you not know it was us!?"

Masira chuckled sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head. "Ah, well, to be honest… I thought that you guys might have been fans of the show too and were showing it! Honest mistake, my bad!"

I nearly face-planted at the absurdity of what I just heard, the weight of the sweatdrop I knew was hanging from my head nearly dragging me to the deck. Now I remembered what I'd forgotten about the Saruyama Alliance: both of the brothers had as much common sense as Luffy did. That is to say, jack and shit.

"Anyways, sorry again about the threats and all that," Masira waved his hand sheepishly. "The other pirates in these waters tend to be rough by nature, and we have our… differences at times, so to speak. My brother and I have had to be protective of our turf, or else our wrecks could be poached by somebody just for the sake of messing with us. But anyways!" He clapped his hands together. "To business! You want that wreck salvaged and searched for information? Then you can bet that my men and I will salvage the heck out of it, no sweat!"

"Perfect!" I gave him an A-OK sign with a grin. "You go ahead and send your crew down to do whatever they were going to do, we'll tell our guys not to beat them to a bloody pulp! Let's do it!"

"ALRIGHT!" Masira whooped as he leapt back over to his own ship and started barking out orders, sending his men scrambling into motion.

"Do you really think this will work?" Vivi asked hesitantly.

"Are you kidding?" I deadpanned, gesturing at Masira. "He and Luffy are going to hit it off as soon as they see each other."

"I don't think that's what Princess Nefertari meant, Mister Jeremiah," Robin noted from where she was standing off to the side.

I glanced at her momentarily before shrugging. "If you're talking about his capabilities as a salvager, then yes, I'm sure; I don't know who gave him his title, but I doubt his crew'd be so enthusiastic in supporting him if he hadn't earned it. Just sit back, and enjoy the show," I said casually as I moved over to the tubes. "Soundbite, think you can—?"

"What's up, Cross?" Soundbite grunted with a familiar scowl.

I sighed in relief before speaking. "Just calling to let you guys know that we have company up here and that you've got some people heading down your way."

"What!?" Soundbite yelped, clenching his left eye shut as he spoke. "Are my beauties alright? Damn it, I'll send the dugongs up! Hang on, we're—!"

"Friendly, friendly company!" I barked, hopefully managing to cut him off. "Geeze, alright, I'll admit I could have worded that better, but seriously…" I sighed and shook my head. "Anyways, there are a few other divers coming your way with equipment to help with the salvaging. Just let them go about their business and this whole thing should go a lot smoother."

"Hang on… yeah, I think I see them now," Zoro confirmed. "Metal suits and… some kind of giant mechanical ribcage?"

"Yeah, that's them," I confirmed.

"Alright, we'll keep Luffy and the dugongs away from them. Thanks, Cross."

"No problem, and good luck." And with that, the connection was closed.

The next few minutes were quite impressive indeed; from the Masira Pirates lowering their cradle to grasp the St. Briss' wreck to Masira blowing a freaking air bubble into and around the thing, these guys amply demonstrated that they were not your run-of-the-mill salvagers. No… these guys blew traditional salvagers a clear mile out of the water.

It was only after Masira jumped in to go down and help our guys investigate that I started really searching the waters around us, scanning the depths for what I knew was to come. After all, once things started to happen, chances were that they would be happening fast whether I liked it or not, and no amount of forewarning would be able to change that.

"Is something amiss, Mister Tactician?"

I glanced back at Robin and started thinking of how to dodge the question, before stopping myself short. Why did I have to dodge the question? Robin had managed to divine that I knew a lot of things that I shouldn't; the fact that she didn't know why yet didn't matter. Honestly, she'd been the only one I'd been trying to hide things from! But now, with that cat out of the bag… eh, screw subtlety! For now, anyways…

"Oh, just waiting for another giant sea turtle to show up," I glibly informed her.

Robin stiffened as she blinked in confusion, obviously taken aback by the apparent non-sequitur. "I beg your pardon?"

I couldn't help but grin as Soundbite tensed on my shoulder and Carue loosed a very panicked squawk. "Aaand there it is. Dontcha love the Grand Line's exquisite sense of timing?"

"What are you—?!" Robin cut herself off with a shocked breath as she stared over the edge of the ship, catching sight of the relatively gargantuan shadow beneath us.

"By the way…" I mused as I took it in. "Now that I think about it, whatever happened to that tortoise you were using as a chauffeur while you were working for the Croc bastard? Banchi, was it?"

"CROSS!"

I rolled my eyes with a fond sigh as an all-too-familiar screech ripped across the ship. "Story for another time, but for now, they're fine, Nami, it won't hurt them!"

The Merry promptly shuddered as the trio's air hoses snapped taut, tilting our ship slightly as they and the cables leading from Masira's ship were dragged straight down.

"…OK, let me qualify that statement…"

"Crooooooss…" Nami scowled, stalking towards me with very twitchy hands.

Surprisingly enough, however, I found a savior coming to my aid in the form of our resident four-foot walking rug.

"Leave Cross's neck alone, Nami!" Chopper pleaded desperately. "I know he earns it a lot—!"

"EEYUP!" Soundbite concurred.

"Dat's twue!" Carue nodded.

"Can't argue with that…" Lassoo yawned.

"There is a conspiracy afoot here, I swear to God…"

"—but if you keep choking Cross, you're liable to do real, lasting damage to his vertebrae!" Chopper finished hastily. "I-I'm not asking you to stop forever, that's unlikely. Just… give him a break for awhile, okay?"

Nami rolled her eyes with a growl. "Ugh, fine… if only because we still need this moron's inconsiderate brain for something..."

"Don't worry, Nami," Vivi reassured the navigator as she ambled up to me with a beatific smile that was sending shivers up my spine for some reason or other. "There's still one way we can express our displeasure in a healthy manner!"

I took a nervous step back from the princess. "…friendly discourse?"

"Nope."

SLAM!

"SWEET BABY JESUS!" I bit out as I doubled over and clutched my privates.

"That," Vivi stated sweetly over the sound of Soundbite laughing raucously.

"That is not a healthy manner!" Chopper shrieked.

"It is when he neglects to mention the ten-ton turtle about to swallow our friends!" Vivi scowled, dropping her charade.

"And besides…" Robin mused thoughtfully. "I've always thought the gene pool could use a little… supervision."

Chopper made to say something, before pausing thoughtfully. "Well, when you put it that way…"

I swear I felt something snap in the back of my mind as I straightened, glaring daggers at the four of them. "I hope you realize that you're all going to pay dearly for this," I snarled. I took a perverse glee in seeing all four of them take a nervous step back.

"H-Hey, c'mon, Cross!" Chopper stammered. "I-I got them to stop strangling you, that counts for something, right?"

"This is not an acceptable alternative, furball!" I bit out viciously as I slowly worked my way to my feet. "Ergh, sonnuva—forget it, I'll deal with you all at a later date. For now, brace!"

"What are you—?"

SPLOOSH!

"—AAAGH!"

Usopp's question was cut off in a scream as the ocean's surface exploded, allowing a moderately massive turtle to surface and presumably breathe for a little bit.

I chuckled at everyone flailing to regain their balance before eyeing the shelled Sea King. "So, what does it say about my life so far that I can say without a doubt that that is the second biggest sea turtle any of us have ever seen?"

"WILL YOU ACTUALLY BE SERIOUS FOR A MOMENT?!" Usopp sobbed in panic.

"Usopp's right, Cross!" Vivi concurred desperately. "The guys' air hoses are hanging out of that thing's mouth!"

"DEY'RE GONNA BE EATEN!" Carue squawked, flapping his wings frantically. "DEN WHO'LL FIGHT DA STUPIDWY TOUGH MONSTAHS!?"

"Alright, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic!" Chopper hyperventilated as he jackhammered his hooves against his forehead. "I-I-I just need to make a Sea King grade emetic! Quick! Get me five hundred CCs of fresh water, a thousand kilograms of fecal matter AND A SYRINGE THE SIZE OF A—!"

THWACK!

"OW!… thank you."

"No problem," I shrugged as I spun my baton back into my pocket. "And besides, I don't think we need to bother trying to make it spit up the ship."

"So, wait, you mean that the guys will be okay?" Nami asked curiously.

I rolled my eyes with a weary sigh. "Yes, they're going to be fine, and no, we don't need to cut their lines to save the Merry. We just need something really shocking to make it drop its jaw. Like, say…night suddenly falling."

Aaaaaand…

Everyone looked around in confusion.

"Was that supposed to do something, Cross?" Vivi asked.

I ground my teeth as I looked upwards. "I said, NIGHT SUDDENLY FALLING!"

C'mon, where the hell was it? I was starting to look bad damn it holy shit that cloud's moving fast and there we go.

"YOUR SENSE of timing SUCKS," Soundbite scoffed.

"Bite—tsk! Ergh, anyways, this is the first time I've been off!" I shot back. "Besides, it's not like the world is on clockwork!"

"He does this often?" Robin asked, not quite as calmly as expected.

"Let me put it this way…" Nami grit out as her eye twitched on account of her trying to keep from panicking. "I envy your powers on account of how you can dope-slap Cross whenever he deserves it, anytime, anywhere."

"Pardon me if I don't find that reassuring."

"Cross, what happened to the sky?!" Vivi demanded with far less control than Nami. "Some time-based Devil Fruit or something?!"

"If I knew about a time-based Devil Fruit, I would have eaten it already, and dope-slapped myself before I got you a bounty," I responded. "No, it's not really night. It's just a cloud formation."

"What kind of a cloud formation is that thick!?" our navigator demanded.

I let a devilish grin creep onto my face, then turned back to the turtle, whose mouth was opening. "I'll save that explanation for when the others get back."

SPLOOSH! CRASH! Luffy shot over the side of the railing and slammed onto the deck.

"HA! Back on track! Booyah! Can a brother—?" CHOMP! "YEOW!"

"Watch it, white trash."

"…yeah, that's fair."

"Hey, guys," Zoro saluted us casually as he, Sanji and the Dugongs clambered onboard, toting bags stuffed with loot. The swordsman dropped his own sack before cocking an eyebrow at me. "You didn't think to mention the turtle?"

"I didn't think it mattered," I shrugged indifferently.

"He does have a point," Boss pointed out.

"Mmrgh…" Zoro finally grunted in agreement.

"But-but-but how did you guys get out?" Usopp sputtered.

"Look, the turtle's mouth is open!" Chopper pointed out.

"Yeah, we noticed that on our way out," Raphey commented with a shrug. "Weird, huh?"

"Weird…" Carue mused. "It awmost wooks… scawed?"

"PHWOO!"

"QUACK!"

Carue was interrupted by Luffy jerking up with a gasp as he spat out a lungful of seawater. That done he blinked stupidly in surprise. "Oh, I'm alive. That's nice." He then looked upwards in confusion. "Huh? Why's it dark out?"

"Oh, it's not night, don't worry," I reassured him, fighting to keep my grin off my face. "We're just under cloud cover. If you think normal clouds cast shades, you should see what entire seas of them are capable of."

Nami mouthed 'seas of them' before stiffening as the blood drained out of her face. Eeeever so slowly, she looked upwards. "No way…" she breathed.

"Ooooh, yes way…" I nodded eagerly. "The Briss came from a small outlier of this thing, but that's the main glut right there. And it's not even the only one in the world, either!"

Nami worked her jaw helplessly for a moment before clenching it shut. "Well… that's me told… so, will something here help us get up there, then?" She gestured weakly at the bags of relics our crewmates had gathered.

"Eh…" I wavered my hand horizontally. "Something Luffy picked up will be useful in the long run, and I'm sure that Robin will appreciate the chance to look over some two hundred-year-old relics—"

"I won't deny that I do want to give our most recent acquisitions a peek…" Robin mused, licking her lips hungrily as she eyed the bags.

"—plus maybe we can get a good price from some collectors for barely water-damaged South Blue Antiques, buuut…" I shrugged helplessly. "The fact is that we'll be getting the help we need from a who, not a what."

"And this 'who' would be…?" Vivi trailed off questioningly.

SPLOOSH! A massive hand suddenly reached up and grabbed the Merry's railing before hauling an even larger mass onto the ship's deck. "Whoo, that was scary! Hey, you guys alright?"

Everyone familiar with Masira stared at him blankly before slowly turning to stare at me.

"You'll thank me later," I preened before addressing the salvager. "And we're fine, thanks. But you should probably tell your guys to cut your salvage cradle loose before you lose your ship, no?"

Masira stiffened with a scowl. "Oh, yeah… damn it, that thing cost us a fortune! Gonna wreck the budget, Shoujou's really going to let me have it. Buuut I guess there's nothing we can do against a monster that big. Alright, boys, I know it's a tragedy, but cut loose the cradle!"

The salvage king's crew's only response was to stammer and shiver incoherently.

"Huh? Guys, what's wrong?"

"C-C-Captain, l-l-l-look!"

It took all I had not to cackle as everyone on the Merry looked in the same direction as the other crew and the sea monster.