HotIce
Hello, a few words from the author This is a slow-paced story, please be patient with :) and this is a rework of my second novel Tribe Online. since this is a game novel, I will try to balance 40% time within the game, 40% time about his real life, and the remaining 20% is about competitive scene, e-sport, and others. I will try to balance it like this. Criticisms are welcomed, but sometimes (or maybe most of the time) people think that sh*t-talking is being "harsh" to critic the author while actually, it's not a criticism, you are being rude. I will delete such a review if there's one. thanks and hope you enjoy the story.
Read to chapter 32 and just couldn't do it anymore. The mc is getting nowhere. I understand there are troubles in his life but it feels like he doesn't have enough based off how you make the mc out to be. He is just too casual and laid back but has big dreams with too many set backs. By chapter 32 he should be somewhere especially with his fateful encounter. I feel you just made it too hard and too ridiculous for a beginning story.
Overall, I like the structure of this story and I think it has potential, but I am disappointed with the slower pace. Maybe the novel will pick up the pace once a "Tribe" is formed between the various characters. Author definitely seems like they have a direction and the main cast all have some personality instead of one dimensional characteristics. Good: -game seems interesting -blend of real world and video game which gives life to characters and makes the world seem more real -No line up of jade beauties trying to get into MC's pants just cause he has a pulse [as of latest chapter, 86] -MC is not a money obsessed like a lot of video game genre MCs on this site Bad: -I am current through chapter 86 and there has been no kingdom building, no romance, and no e-sports. The novel is interesting though it seems more like a cultivation novel where almost all of the focus is on the main character being a "trash" with a cute little sister type character doing a VERY long training montage with stat increases instead of changes in realms. -way too much early focus on press conferences and other news segments that have little story relevance [at least as of chapter 86] -characters responding to the smallest conflict between each other as "do they hate me?" if you have been friends and close for over a decade and the one little thing makes you think that they hate you, that is just rough. -There are some grammar errors though nothing that makes it impossible to understand what is going on in the story.
Dark of night and waxing moon come to us a single pool hear us sing our witches' song and send us moonlight clear and strong Earth and water, wind and fire one and all you must conspire to banish bad for goodness sake cos I need moonshine for my cake Weary travelers long ago shared their bread and made a vow that they will be forever friends and so shall be until time ends
seems like a good book so far enjoyable well written and stable updates for now with lots of potential have not seen any kingdom building elements yet for the tag to be there but their is a lot of potential for this novel also MC does not seem so OP right now hopefully it stays that way as i find very op characters a bit of a turn off. good book so far lots of potential looking forward to seeing how it develops.