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Cosmic Janitor

A man on a hospital bed was offered a job by a god. Said god introduced himself as a "god of amusement and entertainment." The man unhesitatingly accepted; what was the reason? He was bored. Having lived his life to the literal fullest—parachuting, skydiving, racing, boxing, and other adrenaline-pumping activities—left him exactly in his condition—a crippled, sick, BUT bored man in his middle thirties.  Join him in his wild adventures as he battles devils, zombies, and all sorts of crazy stuff you can dream up while lying in bed. Updates: It depends on my workload. Also, on my cat's mood. Suggestions: I've got some "worlds" planned, but feel free to suggest a game or anime world that needs some serious "cleaning." Disclaimer: The characters mentioned are not mine, except the OCs. Especially the Book Cover.

ChrisTian3421 · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
71 Chs

Wraeclast

(Katsuo POV)

Exiting the portal with my three buddies, I felt good, and lighter, courtesy of Lisa's jawbreaking slap. My companions, sensing my mood lightening, immediately beamed. Kai emitted crackles of happiness, Dem gave me a warm glow, and Jade offered a thumbs-up of approval with his tiny rocky hand.

Then, ruining our heartwarming moment, were undead creatures and numerous monstrosities emerging from the shadows. Their hollow eyes and twisted forms were a stark reminder of the task at hand.

I drew Sanchomo, its blade shimmering with Sword Essence and quadra-elemental properties. "Alright, team, let's show these undead what we're made of!"

Kai hopped excitedly, discharging sparks that danced around him. Dem perched on my shoulder, ready to unleash her fiery wrath, and Jade stomped his foot, summoning sturdy earth constructs.

As the first wave of undead lunged at us, I dashed forward, slashing through their ranks with swift, precise movements. Kai zipped around, electrocuting anything that got too close, while Jade formed barriers to protect us from the onslaught. Dem unleashed a torrent of fire, turning the undead into ash.

The battle was easy, our teamwork seamless. After slashing a random undead, we heard a roar. Hillock, a massive undead brute, appeared from the shadows. "Huh, a mini boss," I mused.

Without missing a beat, I summoned my ethereal swords. "Let's make this quick," I said, sending all of them toward Hillock. The swords flew through the air, piercing his decayed flesh and pinning him to the ground like a grotesque pincushion. He let out one final, gurgling roar before collapsing lifelessly.

"Good job, team," I said, giving Kai a pat, Dem a nod, and Jade a thumbs-up. They responded with cheerful crackles, a warm glow, and a salute, respectively.

As we continued deeper into the Twilight Strand, I couldn't help but feel a surge of optimism. This was just the beginning. With my elemental buddies.

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I wandered around the Mud Flats, searching for the Glyphs needed to open the Submerged Passage. In my arms, my three chaotic triplets slept peacefully, their faces a stark contrast to the bleak and desolate landscape around us.

The Mud Flats stretched endlessly, a vast expanse of thick, sticky mud interspersed with patches of marshy water. Jagged rocks and boulders, remnants of an ancient, broken land, were scattered throughout.

Some rocks formed crude pathways, but most were slippery with moisture and moss. The ground was littered with the skeletal remains of unfortunate creatures and Exiles who had met their end in this unforgiving place. Skulls, ribcages, and other bones protruded eerily from the mud.

Vegetation was sparse and stunted. Sickly reeds and twisted, leafless trees dotted the landscape, their gnarled roots protruding from the mud like grasping fingers.

Roaming the flats were Rhoas, aggressive, bird-like creatures with sharp beaks and talons. They hunted in packs, making them a constant threat. Other hostile wildlife, mutated by the corruption of Wraeclast, lurked in the shadows, ready to attack any who ventured too close.

Despite the constant danger, my Summoned Swords made quick work of any threats. The Rhoas and other mutated creatures fell swiftly, their bodies crumpling to the ground as the ethereal blades cut through them with ease. It was almost laughable, the way these creatures thought they stood a chance against me, especially when my hands were full with my slumbering companions.

As I continued my search, the eerie silence of the Mud Flats was occasionally broken by the sound of a distant roar or the rustling of something moving through the reeds. But with my ethereal swords hovering protectively around us, I felt confident.

Finally, after what felt like hours of trudging through the mud and fending off wildlife, I spotted the first Glyph. It was embedded in a large, moss-covered rock. Carefully, I reached out and extracted it, feeling a slight hum of power as I held it in my hand.

"One down, two to go," I muttered to myself, adjusting the sleeping triplets in my arms. They shifted slightly but remained blissfully asleep.

Continuing my search, I couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all. Here I was, in one of the most dangerous places in Wraeclast, carrying three sleeping elemental creatures like they were my babies, all while decimating anything that dared to threaten us. The contrast was almost too much.

Eventually, I found the remaining Glyphs, each extraction followed by a brief moment of tension as the wildlife sensed my distraction and attempted to attack. But my Summoned Swords, ever vigilant, ensured that none got close.

With all three Glyphs in hand, I made my way to the entrance of the Submerged Passage. The ancient mechanism there responded to the power of the Glyphs, and with a rumble, the passage opened.

"Next stage," I said quietly.

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Upon entering the Submerged Passage, we were immediately greeted by a dark and gloomy atmosphere. The air was thick with dampness, and distant echoes of dripping water reverberated through the cavern. Sensing the change in the air, my trio began to stir.

Dem opened her eyes slowly and flew up to give the side of my face a soft hug, her warmth a comforting contrast to the cold, dark surroundings. Kai immediately hopped off and began bouncing up and down, crackling with energy, ready to tackle any enemies that dared approach. Jade looked up at me, embarrassed, as if apologizing for needing protection. I gently put him down, and he immediately took up a defensive stance, ever the faithful guardian.

We then heard soft roars and snarls around us, echoing ominously through the passage. The sounds were low and menacing, hinting at the presence of creatures lurking in the shadows.

Drifting Eyes, Sand Spitters, Drowned, and Rhoas emerged from the darkness. The passage was teeming with life, though not the kind you'd want to encounter on a dark and stormy night. I decided to fight from the sidelines, ensuring my companions had a safety net in case they couldn't handle the onslaught and to give them valuable combat experience.

Kai zipped around, his electric energy making quick work of the Sand Spitters, their bodies collapsing in a heap of sparks. Dem hovered above, her fiery blasts illuminating the passage and reducing the Drowned to ash. Jade stood his ground, forming sturdy barriers to protect us from the Mud Crabs' relentless attacks.

The Rhoas charged at us in a frenzied stampede, but my ethereal swords intercepted them, slicing through their ranks. Shore Crabs scuttled towards us, their pincers snapping menacingly, but Kai's lightning strikes and Dem's fireballs ensured they didn't get too close.

From the sidelines, I watched closely, ready to intervene if things got out of hand. But my trio handled themselves admirably. Kai's agility, Dem's fiery prowess, and Jade's steadfast defense worked in perfect harmony, creating a symphony of destruction that cleared our path.

The battle raged on, the cavern echoing with the sounds of combat. My companions fought bravely, their confidence growing with each defeated enemy. They were learning, adapting, and becoming stronger with every passing moment.

Eventually, the last of the creatures fell, and the passage grew quiet once more. I looked at my companions, their expressions a mix of exhaustion and pride. They had done well, and I couldn't have been prouder.

"Well done," I said, giving them each a nod of approval. They beamed back at me, their spirits lifted by the victory.

We continued deeper into the Submerged Passage, the path ahead still filled with uncertainty.

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There was never a moment's rest as each passage, nook, and cranny seemed to teem with mobs. I decided to take a more active role in clearing our path. After what felt like hours of fighting, I glanced at my buddies. Dem was using my Summoned Swords as a makeshift magical carpet, causing me to chuckle. Jade was getting slower, so I decided to carry him. He tried wriggling at first, as if saying it was a grave sin for a king to carry his knight, but eventually accepted his fate. Kai, feeling the weight of exhaustion, hopped into my arms as well, crackling with tired but contented energy.

Just then, my eyes caught a bright orange shimmer in the dim light. Ahead, I saw the Brood Princess, an eerie Sea Witch with an unsettling glow. Her form was ghostly, surrounded by a swarm of smaller creatures—the Brood Children and Broodlings.

I sighed lightly, then used Earth Manipulation to put my buddies down. They readied themselves but I reprimanded them gently. They looked almost teary-eyed when they saw my stern expression, to which I just sighed again.

Unsheathing Sanchomo, I zipped behind the Brood Princess and slashed her in half. She wasn't particularly a hard opponent, and the fight was over almost before it began.

The Brood Children and Broodlings looked terrified as they watched their mother die like that. Glancing at them, I used Air Manipulation and my Summoned Swords, slicing through each of these abhorrent creatures.

After I was done "cleaning," I went back to my trio. They looked at me with mixed reactions. Dem floated closer, her usual fiery demeanor now subdued, giving me a warm but wary smile. Jade stood at attention, trying to look stoic but failing to hide the concern in his eyes. Kai, ever the energetic bunny, seemed unsure whether to hop around excitedly or stay by my side.

I knelt down, looking each of them in the eyes. "It's over," I said softly, trying to reassure them. "You all did great."

Dem gave me a gentle nod, her fiery essence flickering softly. Jade, still a bit stiff, relaxed slightly and gave a tiny thumbs-up. Kai, unable to contain his energy any longer, gave a happy crackle and bounced in place.

"Alright, let's get out of here," I said, scooping them up gently. "We deserve a break after all that."

As we made our way through The Climb, the air felt lighter, and the oppressive atmosphere began to lift. With each step, my trio seemed to regain their spirits, their trust in me evident in their relaxed expressions and playful antics. Together, we would face whatever.

Got a funny story for y'all. So, I recently went to a therapist, wondering if I've got ADHD or some other mental disorder. I've been all over the place, bouncing from one thought to another like a caffeinated squirrel, convinced something was up. I mean, who else loses their keys, phone, and train of thought all in the same hour?

So, I sit there, pouring my heart out, listing all my quirks and oddities. The therapist listens patiently, nodding thoughtfully. After what feels like a thorough examination of my life's chaotic highlight reel, they lean back, give me a reassuring smile, and say, "Surprise surprise, you’ve got none!"

Turns out, I'm just...me. No ADHD, no major mental disorder—just a normal person with a penchant for overthinking and occasional scatterbrained moments. Who knew? So, instead of leaving with a diagnosis, I walked out with a clean bill of mental health and a newfound appreciation for my quirky brain. Now, if only I could remember where I parked my car...

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