aleksandra_pano10
I am so lost on who is who anymore. Where did the "not Axel" Axel from last chapter go? Why is the actual Axel so easy to distract. A whole person disappared and you just wanna dance with a lady, how shameless. I suppose ryoko is possessed now
Typing up your content on a grammar checking app like Grammarly would work wonders :) It'd also help to be a bit more descriptive - semi-script format could work for more comedic works, but for something serious and dramatic, you'd need to provide appropriate amounts of description to draw readers in.
Desdemona is really annoying here, and Axel is a pushover. Their personalities were written really well here. I also like the scenes unfolding in this chapter. The typos were just making me a bit confused about what's happening with who. If they were intentional though, I apologize. I'm probably just not used to the styleđ