Comments of chapter undefined of Ascension: The Rise of the Crimson Wizard
Ascension: The Rise of the Crimson Wizard
TatsuyaShiiba
Chapter comments18
Ye, it's mostly about the release rate. On this site most people are for the day to day read - as in an update 1/2 days apart from the last. Adding to the fact that the plot is somewhat slow it costs You the intrest in the novel. Now fot the story: the only point so far is the marriage - for me personally, the forced marriage is fine, but some people are fed up with the eastern style fics and that move on Your part probably is too similar to that kind of writing. The rest of the story is very good, if only a little slow. ;) I will still read Your work and give You power stones cuz I think this fic is one of the best I have read so far. So keep up the good work and do not mind the trolls and stuff like that.
The story is getting a bit too technical and following the process of inventing kind of goes over my head. Plus the plot has not progressed much in the last few chapters. I won't drop it since it's one of the only decent ho fanfic around, but my enthusiasm wasn't what it used to be a few chapters ago.
The summary: You are adding to much icing to the cake. The recipie can definately use some new flavours and colours, but to much icing will always make a cake to sweet to consume. Your story is still very interesting and far above av for a fanfic :) Having just started reading yesterday, I wouldnt say the story has lost momentum (updates are irrelevant for someone catching up). But i would say that the Au elements are becoming bloated. There was a reason Rowling stuck to hogwarts and limited the expansion of the magical world past Britian and only mentioned other schools and magic traditions briefly. It certainly does make sense to have a magic community wherever humans are with many different histories and traditions, but it would be a different type of story to include them and every other possibilities for a magical world. Instead she focused on ‘Harry Potter’ and Hogwarts, with only smaller sections taking place outside the school. As a fanfic it is both necessary and interesting to expand the potterverse and explore the possibilities of magic. But if you expand to much it begins to depart from what makes the Harry Potter series. I would suggest trying to limit the au injections into the story, such as the new magic possibilities/inventions, or the international political conflicts. They can still happen and many of them should happen, but the bulk of your writing should focus on the main cast at Hogwarts and their adventures as this is the focus of Rowling story and our main connection to it. One example would be the enchanted weapons addition. In some contexts it makes sense, and many cling to the idea due to Griffindors sword. But Rowling cleary limited their creation to be a lost goblin art and likened wands to be similar to guns when compared to swords. The whole hand movement and lack of magical control which required a wand (even dumbles used one) restricted the possibilities of magic so that it wasn’t used as a deus ex machina plot device where magic is the skeleton key to every problem. Harry and the cast had to form relationships, use wit and planning to overcome voldemort. The same with dumbles who even though being the greatest white wizard, was unable to find a better path. The enchanted weapons being better than wands but no one in Britain uses them, new magics every chapter, tons of wandless magic, new inventions, new political factions and conflicts. All add to much and detract from the characters adventures and interactions.
Thanks for the chapter! It’s the time for each release... I particularly like how the story is progressing, showing your own original world thrust upon Harry Potter that focused too much on Europe! Your focus on politics are also awesome! The thing is... it take so much time for each release, that I end up having to read a lot of chapters again so I can remember the plot...
