Review Detail of Avery025 in Reborn as Rhaenyra's Twin - (House of the Dragon)
Review detail
This fic has a great introduction. Wich made it even sadder that the story falls off shortly after. I dropped it after around 17 chapters and really can’t bring myself to continue. Critique points: Characters; The main character was really likable in the intro but soon devolved into someone that acts out of character and out of world *constantly*. (Bows to peasants, allows ppl‘s rude and informal behavior even though he’s the crown prince, acts like an immature child even though he went to prison for a long time in his first live, etc.) the other characters are mostly believable but we haven’t seen too much of them yet. Articulation; some sentences are hard to read and or follow because they are formed in weird ways. The character descriptions are slightly lacking. World; I often feel like the world only works because it was established in the original work. (Which is often the case in fan fics and so mostly ok) Reason for dropping and rating; Mostly mc/mcs development
Reborn as Rhaenyra's Twin - (House of the Dragon)
ssyffix
Liked by 14 people
LIKEReplies9
A big theme of the MC links back to his imprisonment. His ‘acting out of character’ is done in that context. As soon as he feels like something is trapping him, be it responsibility, duty, proper etiquette such as not bowing to a peasant (lol), you can see how the MC would go against that. You’ll find this will play a role in the character, and that it’s not just evolution, but de-evolution goes into his ‘development’. How his imprisonment affects his behavior is made implicit throughout the story, but I understand that even with that, the MC won’t click with everyone. Thanks for the thoughtful review. I appreciate you reading to ch 17 and taking the time to share. Do you have any GoT/Hotd fic recommendations?
I understand what you wanted to do there but (in my opinion) you took it a bit far, making his strong will for freedom act out in ways that seem like ‚childish fits‘ As for tips for a HoTD fic. Idk if you have but I would recommend reading the book that the series is based on and there are a few really great ffs on webnovel that partially got dropped or have little chapters at the moment but I think theyre great inspirational material. Further, I think some POVs different than the mcs would help create a bigger feeling for the world (outside of the base material)
ssyffix:A big theme of the MC links back to his imprisonment. His ‘acting out of character’ is done in that context. As soon as he feels like something is trapping him, be it responsibility, duty, proper etiquette such as not bowing to a peasant (lol), you can see how the MC would go against that. You’ll find this will play a role in the character, and that it’s not just evolution, but de-evolution goes into his ‘development’. How his imprisonment affects his behavior is made implicit throughout the story, but I understand that even with that, the MC won’t click with everyone. Thanks for the thoughtful review. I appreciate you reading to ch 17 and taking the time to share. Do you have any GoT/Hotd fic recommendations?
I apologize. I only explained because you said it was out of character, so I explained why it was in character. You saying it was out of character implied you didn't understand that, hence my explanation. As for the fic recommendation, do you have anything specific other than me searching all of Webnovel?
Avery025:I understand what you wanted to do there but (in my opinion) you took it a bit far, making his strong will for freedom act out in ways that seem like ‚childish fits‘ As for tips for a HoTD fic. Idk if you have but I would recommend reading the book that the series is based on and there are a few really great ffs on webnovel that partially got dropped or have little chapters at the moment but I think theyre great inspirational material. Further, I think some POVs different than the mcs would help create a bigger feeling for the world (outside of the base material)
Sorry if it wasn‘t clear. Two noteable ones would be; Game of Thrones: the first elven king And House of the dragon: Daemon targaryens son (Both play or will play during the time period you’re looking for and are in my opinion the best fics of this verse at the moment in webnovel) The first ones does update slowly at the moment and the second one was sadly dropped
ssyffix:I apologize. I only explained because you said it was out of character, so I explained why it was in character. You saying it was out of character implied you didn't understand that, hence my explanation. As for the fic recommendation, do you have anything specific other than me searching all of Webnovel?
memberberry:It's bad, period. I admire you for being able to read 17 chapters. As I read I had the feeling I was watching Teen Wolf.image
I‘d recommend Pretending_Author’s works. He has a GoT fic called Break the Wheel that’s solid, and HoTD Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken. Solid reads so far
ssyffix:A big theme of the MC links back to his imprisonment. His ‘acting out of character’ is done in that context. As soon as he feels like something is trapping him, be it responsibility, duty, proper etiquette such as not bowing to a peasant (lol), you can see how the MC would go against that. You’ll find this will play a role in the character, and that it’s not just evolution, but de-evolution goes into his ‘development’. How his imprisonment affects his behavior is made implicit throughout the story, but I understand that even with that, the MC won’t click with everyone. Thanks for the thoughtful review. I appreciate you reading to ch 17 and taking the time to share. Do you have any GoT/Hotd fic recommendations?
SleepySolstice:I‘d recommend Pretending_Author’s works. He has a GoT fic called Break the Wheel that’s solid, and HoTD Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken. Solid reads so far
