Review Detail of Hentai_Senchou in SoulsBorne System (Starting in Dark Souls 1)
Review detail
Info dumps, convoluted explanations with no backstory, and random jumping between worlds with no explanation of what the worlds are except the universe the world is from. Suspend your disbelief for a while and pretend you haven't read, watched, or played any series used in this story. I will then write out what it's like to read this story. I jumped to the flippygoop world to grab a vial of flimflom. After drinking it I teleported to the library of greygoop to copy all of the books so that I have all of the knowledge about flipping flopples, then I grabbed the weapons "sockle, jockle, mary popple, and jumpertrockle." Then teleported back to dark souls world. Then solaire and I ran through 3 areas and I teleported to a different world to bring a person back to life (that I never explained about before or during this event) I then tell you their name and explain to them I can give them a new life. They then agree to be my adopted child after taking their memories from them. I then go back to the dark souls world. The story telling is intolerable even though I've read every series shown in the world so far at chapter 14, I can't imaging what it's like for anyone that has never seen these series. It reads like the author thought of a cool multiverse protagonist one day and is in a rush to tell us all of the worlds they jumped through to get strong while also expecting us to know all of the lore of those worlds at the same time. Doesn't explain any lore at all, and just rushes to tell us everything the main character did in those worlds as they teleport between a bunch of items so that they can jump back to dark souls, rush through 3 areas in 3 paragraphs, then jump to a different world again. 14 chapters of him just explaining abilities and items the main character grabbed from different worlds.
SoulsBorne System (Starting in Dark Souls 1)
Knight_Riku
Liked by 7 people
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I'll be honest. I saw this in my inbox bur it didn't show numbers of stars and I originally thought that this was gonna be another salty review if one star with no good reason of why make such a review. but I can see u gave an honest one and not being emotionally judgemental. as for ur reasons, yes mc hopped from World to world and I am well aware some people don't know what all these worlds are. but they are nit important and do jot need full explanation. People will forget about it in the future until it is necessary to be mentioned. like how he went to get Elderblood from Ciri's mother in the Witcher 3 World. also all the objects he had gotten wilm be explained on what it does and what it is when it is necessary such as Divath Fyr books. people don't know who that even is, but when it's necessary I will say mc learned magic from Divath Fyr and shortly explain he is op mage of skyrim World which is a magical fantasy game with this and that power levels and beings of power. even if u gave one star review, as long as the explanation is valid like what u did, I will not delete it but I did delete others cause they were salty reviews. so thank u for honest review.
I haven't dropped the story and will update this review with a comment if the actual story telling gets better. I think the saying was "show, don't tell" For example, instead of "I dodged his magic attack, ran up and beheaded him." A much better wording would be "I saw the azure color that foretells a magic attack. Ducking low I felt it graze over my shoulder, the pain lingering as my sword passes through his lowered neck." I'm not trying to tell you how to write your story, just giving examples that helped me not fail my college English classes.
Knight_Riku:I'll be honest. I saw this in my inbox bur it didn't show numbers of stars and I originally thought that this was gonna be another salty review if one star with no good reason of why make such a review. but I can see u gave an honest one and not being emotionally judgemental. as for ur reasons, yes mc hopped from World to world and I am well aware some people don't know what all these worlds are. but they are nit important and do jot need full explanation. People will forget about it in the future until it is necessary to be mentioned. like how he went to get Elderblood from Ciri's mother in the Witcher 3 World. also all the objects he had gotten wilm be explained on what it does and what it is when it is necessary such as Divath Fyr books. people don't know who that even is, but when it's necessary I will say mc learned magic from Divath Fyr and shortly explain he is op mage of skyrim World which is a magical fantasy game with this and that power levels and beings of power. even if u gave one star review, as long as the explanation is valid like what u did, I will not delete it but I did delete others cause they were salty reviews. so thank u for honest review.
Knight_Riku:I'll be honest. I saw this in my inbox bur it didn't show numbers of stars and I originally thought that this was gonna be another salty review if one star with no good reason of why make such a review. but I can see u gave an honest one and not being emotionally judgemental. as for ur reasons, yes mc hopped from World to world and I am well aware some people don't know what all these worlds are. but they are nit important and do jot need full explanation. People will forget about it in the future until it is necessary to be mentioned. like how he went to get Elderblood from Ciri's mother in the Witcher 3 World. also all the objects he had gotten wilm be explained on what it does and what it is when it is necessary such as Divath Fyr books. people don't know who that even is, but when it's necessary I will say mc learned magic from Divath Fyr and shortly explain he is op mage of skyrim World which is a magical fantasy game with this and that power levels and beings of power. even if u gave one star review, as long as the explanation is valid like what u did, I will not delete it but I did delete others cause they were salty reviews. so thank u for honest review.