Review Detail of FavourEkele_1969 in The Hysteria Scythe
Review detail
I now understand the reason why the MC is being resurrected many times. It's utterly ridiculous, you don't want your family members to suffer yet they must live. Sob. World background is in synch I guess. (I'm getting the Addams Family feels) I understand it's a short story and everything has to be congested into a small bracket. So there's not much emphasis on the families, how they look like or even the MC looks like. Also the grammar needs to be formal too :)
The Hysteria Scythe
RaiyAkumu
Liked by 1 people
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Thank you for the feedback, I would normally ignore the "write more formally" part because I feel that since the Main character is 12 it doesn't need formality but since that same statement keeps appearing in various comments I will try to incorporate that in later chapters. Character details are intertwined throughout the story, I felt like it is more natural to introduce the appearance of the Main Character in a slow and balanced way than all in one go, I hope I can keep the reader's attention long enough. I am thankful you didn't start hammering me for run-on sentences. I might end up making this into an entire novel if enough people enjoy it, but if I do that I would write a new one from the beginning. Thank you for the review.