No?

Really good read, there is only one area of concern for me, but that is personal preference and doesn’t affect the quality of the story. I wish the author luck and good fortune on their journey of writing.

I appreciate you reading up to this point, do you have any questions or anything you would suggest I fix?

Yeah, a dream that is her reality.

Yeah, is it confusing? If it gets too hard to follow just say :)

I know, the author is very strange :) lol

Thank You :)

Just going to say this right now, this person left an honest review, and I feel like that is all that matters, not whether or not it was positive or not, sure 99% of the other people who posted reviews loved the story but there is still that 1% who just don't. If you are going to insult someone for being downright honest then you have gone too far. I haven't read the story yet so I am saying this with no bias on whether or not the story is good or not, but what really makes me mad is not when someone insults mine or someone else's work, but when someone gets insulted for being honest. I am positive I will get hate from this comment but I am just being honest and trying to stand up for someone who was being honest.

Thank you for the feedback, I would normally ignore the "write more formally" part because I feel that since the Main character is 12 it doesn't need formality but since that same statement keeps appearing in various comments I will try to incorporate that in later chapters. Character details are intertwined throughout the story, I felt like it is more natural to introduce the appearance of the Main Character in a slow and balanced way than all in one go, I hope I can keep the reader's attention long enough. I am thankful you didn't start hammering me for run-on sentences. I might end up making this into an entire novel if enough people enjoy it, but if I do that I would write a new one from the beginning. Thank you for the review.

I am glad you enjoyed chapter one. If you have any suggestions on what I might need to fix or add, please let me know, I am always willing to accept criticism. I hope you continue to read my story, I am trying to give it a unique articulation of details, and really bring out the first-person perspective. Thanks for the review.

Thank you so much for the review. I know this might sound a little harsh, but First, on several occasions, I have stated that the Main Character is a 12-year-old girl. I don't give much information about the main character because, firstly, it isn't an extremely common thing in first-person books because when you are talking to someone do you randomly say "hello how are you today, I have brown hair" and "I am glad you are well, I am tall" there is no effective way to describe the main character without making it weird, which is why I have to take that part slow and natural. You don't introduce yourself as "I am a 12-year-old, a girl with black hair and blue eyes, and I am 5'2'', my name is Anna Something" I am glad you like the details and hope you continue to read, Chapter two should be out tomorrow. Sorry if I sounded rude.

The narrator, whom of which I already titled several times as a 12-year-old girl, is not talking to herself but the reader. It isn’t that obvious of a fact and am sorry I didn’t make it clearer. I would write more formally but since this story is from a 12-year-old I want to keep the story the way it is. I hope this cleared up a bit. Also thank you for the review, I appr it.eciate

That is because I want to hook the reader in with an interesting synopsis that tells the reader nothing about the story. The plot of the book is by definition a mystery.

Very interesting direction from the very start. My writing in particular does not feature much dialogue, while this novel uses it in a very fantastical manner, makes me want to rewrite my own story with more dialogue. Not many book here on webnovel catch my interest since 90% of what exists here copies the same basic idea of reincarnation into a video game, I love to read stories with their own concepts and this is no exception. I loved the creativity and would definitely suggest this book as a read. Despite the rare grammatical errors my rating is a five star because not many books out there come up with their own concepts.

I would Like it if People would leave honest reviews and comments, if you want to insult away, these are stories I have written long ago, and decided that people should get a chance to see where I came from before I started writing "The Last Twila". In the process of searching for my old stories, I discovered that a good majority of my old stories are missing or are too incomplete to be worthy of a chapter. These stories I will, instead of publishing the story itself I will write a brief description of what it was about. I may upload a story every day, but I don't see any importance in regular uploads with this story because I am not aiming for readers or whatever, I just felt like showing off my amateur writing skills. Also while I was searching through the old documents and stories that I did happen to find and recover, I discovered a story that I had once abandoned because of emotional stress, this story I am not going to add to this book, because I am going to give it a second shot and try again. The story will probably be punished around May or June, although I cannot promise anything. My review is 2.4 stars but that is because this story sucks.

Hello, I appreciate the offer, I really do, but I am inclined to refuse your proposal. I mean I would like the extra help, and wouldn't mind helping you, but I am not an adult, nor am I a fan of adult content itself. I know I am new to writing on webnovel, but I feel no current necessity to retrieve help right now. If I ever feel like my writing starts to degrade over time, I will seek you out if you so desire. Thanks for the offer again, and I am genuinely sorry that I couldn't agree to collaborate with you. I hope your writing goes well, and if you read my story I hope it was fitting in any way to your tastes. Have a good day and I hope to see you around.

Do you mind using English, or even Español? It would help out a lot. Please and Thank You.

I agree with your rating (I mean it is about the same I gave myself anyway) And yes I made it a little difficult for the reader to understand what is going on to give the reader a similar feel to how the MC is feeling, and I am starting to notice it biting me in the butt now. Thanks for the rating I appreciate it.

I love the storyline of this story, I mean you bring out the best in all the characters no matter if they are bad or good. There are a few spots with grammar issues, but everyone makes those here and there. I am not a fan of this genre at all, but this really hooked me. Keep up the good work Author.

This is marvelous, I love the details. From a personal perspective, this puts my writing to shame, although from a professional perspective (not that I am professional at all) This puts my writing to shame.