Review Detail of MorningWood_Dao in What if? Severus Snape.

All good except the writing quality. There are some missing words, placing commas in the wrong place, sometimes there's also 'awkward' wording, and the way the author write the scene is too simple. It's like looking at history log rather than telling a story. Add more detail. The english is already good, but it's annoying when this kind of things happen. Overall a good story, but still need a good amount of proofread and fixing the parts that need to be fix, from ch 1 until latest chapters. It got the same problem.