Review Detail of WhYDoIEVeN in Immortal Ice Empress: Path to Vengeance

Story reviewed preemptively at Chapter 88, will most likely be taken down by myself and redone again when I reach the middle part so know that this might not be exact as of later chapters. I'm doing this now to give the author my take on the story and some (constructive) criticism as it seems like there's only been praises so far, and no one has told them any actual negatives about the story. Before anything else, I'd like to point out the most major thing keeping this story from being a solid 4+ stars, and that is that it suffers quite heavily from the violation of the "show, don't tell" rule. For quite a lot of it, we are told, not shown. For example, in chapter 88 when Maria was fighting our protagonist. "Mira got into range and made a move like she was about to roundhouse kick Maria in the upper thigh. Maria decided now would be a good time to take a swing, but immediately regretted this decision", we are never shown in details what is happening, only told of it. Wording is important in fights, much less the story itself, and so is a good repertoire in vocabulary. It makes it so that you can show better what is happening instead of making it seem like it's being told. It's something required for the reader to be able to empathize with characters and immerse into the story. Which brings me to the second problem of the story, it lacks exactly that. Which, to me makes it feel like the reader is disconnected from the series, unable to empathize with characters and their struggles. The details feel too little at times, and too much at times. Never "just right", we're barely shown facial expressions, emotions. and such at the end of dialogue, it ends with just. There is little gravitas included, and I feel that if these problems were to be fixed, the story would become much more enjoyable than it currently is. Personally saying, I'd advice you take a look at your earlier chapters and remake them a bit, improve them and make edits that will make the story early on more enjoyable before fully focusing on making new chapters. Even if later on it gets much better, people won't be motivated to read that far in if they can't enjoy the first parts of it, no? Anyways, besides those problems the story has been quite enjoyable so far, the pacing is good. Most of the time it's neither too fast nor too slow and there hasn't been any moment so far I felt like there has been no progress and that we are at a standstill. The world is great for something that is Xianxia/Xuanhuan, and there are some nice spins to it that I can really appreciate. The cast of character so far is really nice, and Maria, even if she can at times be unbearable or too generic, gives a much needed source of character interaction and positive atmosphere to the story, and acts as a counterbalance to Mira's character- no matter how much I love her. TLDR; as of ch.88, a great story that is weighted down by the violation of "Show, don't tell", and the lack of repertoire in vocabulary.