Review Detail of Eggy_does_writing in Ten Darkest Secrets (Betrayer Series Book #1)

I've read 6 chapters and the story is pretty interesting so far! First, the positives. I liked the fact that the author included the time, date, and location at the beginning of each chapter. It makes the story feel like a crime show where the date and locations are displayed at the beginning of every scene. I also liked the fact that there was some representation for Southeast Asian people (author mentions that Carmela seems to be Indian), which is something that I don't see much of in many popular stories. The author describes the surroundings really well and with lots of details. The action in the first chapter was very graphic and the author also incorporates really nice foreshadowing in the second chapter. The ******* between Carmela and Katrina was pretty intense and well written and felt like a soap opera. Next, neutral stuff. Not a fan of Margo due to her homophobia, the fact that's she's really intrusive about Carmela's life, she seems very spoiled, and her overall bad attitude. I'm guessing that she is one of the main antagonists that the audience is supposed to hate. Author, if that was your goal, then you did a great job! Now for the negatives. There's a bunch of grammatical errors and I had an issue with the design of two of the characters. As a member of the LGBTQ community, I feel like Mina's character could've been written better. So far, he's the only gay character in this story and he feels just like a huge stereotype. The author constantly points out the fact that he's gay, which is great and all, but it feels like that's his only personality trait. I don't believe the author had any bad intentions with this character but I just think that part could've been done better. Along with that, Zoey's character doesn't have much depth either. The author constantly brings up the fact that she is rude and has a bad attitude, yet only shows it in chapter one. Zoey herself is very aware of it, yet doesn't seem to do anything to change it. The author constantly brings up Zoey's nasty attitude as if that is her only personality trait. Both Mina and Zoey feel very one-dimensional while Carmela's character had a lot of depth. I felt that was kinda weird since they are the MC's best friends. Overall, this story was pretty good! I really enjoyed the plot so far.