Daoisth1hP0X
of reading
2
Read books
We didn't get a introduction from the author of camillia and her abilities also who's pov are we reading this from because it seems like the author is talking to us instead of us reading a book and even then the author's writing seems like he isn't sure of what he's writing pls work on that
We're not told there's a time lapse in the story and we're supposed to automatically know as the readers is one thing wrong and how why is it so shocking for her at the end when she realized what's going on, and we need to also see the relationship between them grow otherwise the readers won't be able to understand whether they're friends or in a romantic relationship
They are moving too fast, they just met a minute ago and what happened to the exile science like we just left it hanging, and it's the way he's making comments like that in their first meet as if they're in a cafe instead of in the middle of the woods, and it's the way she randomly lets him in. It's moving too fast,slow things down