I heard the same several times over and thought it was cannon as well

man I loved rwby but it trully went down hill after the destruction of the school. it was a shame the original creator died and roosterteath ran it through the mud. I sigh at what could have been.

overall thoughts: It's incredibly mid (mediocre) (in debth review) -(criticism) as of 550, his writing seems to be allergic to providing details and gives too much information at the same time. he is lazy in his use of adding other fictional characters and every character has no complexity. the mentor characters are benevolent powerful characters that are entirely selfless and talk the same way as each other. selflessness is a common theme among characters. the author babies you in general throughout the book. everyone of his characters falls into either 1. it's the cut and paste mc but with a different appearance. or 2. they are a shallow ghost of a character. often the author will repeat the same things over and over. the pokemon training times are inconsistent. the parents trained new pokemon faster than the years when they were on their journey, their improvement got close to, if not, rivaled mc's pokemon training time with his space. the dialog is rather terrible, people talk too much in one go and the responses are generalized. the dialog doesn't flow and the characters are unnatural when speaking. some of the dialog really made me cringe with how unnatural the actions taken were the author doesn't understand and underestimates intelligence and so the main character is of above average intelligence in the clothes of borderline genius. the system gives out too much unnecessary information. the mc has no had any conflicts that trully gave him pause (compliments) author did a great job in not being terrible, many novels made by amateur novelists are cringe and hard to read, not the case here. I didn't have to think overly hard while reading. a lot of the decisions the main character makes actually make sense. the author seems to know what he wants out of his story. the best part of all is the fact the author hasn't lost motivation to write which is admirable. (improvements) add comparisons, they will help give a visualization to the reader. streamline the system info, to much info becomes monotonous to read. don't list measurements, use comparisons, let us use our imagination read up on intelligence, the way you sell your character is smarter than you have shown us. show don't tell, people don't like to be babied so you provide clues on instead of outright giving away everything. the dialog needs to flow and become more natural. ease up with pleasantries and spelling when writing informal speech, not everyone pronounces full words. people will play with words that go beyond what is proper. people are complex. motivations differ, surprise shows differently on people, people go through combinations of emotions. you need to separate your characters personality . their personality are too close to each other. give your mc something/ someone to struggle with, a roadblock of some kind. there is nothing to push the story in an interesting direction. keep consistency with the timings.

it seems to have been added recently, I mean like I haven't seen any pop-up adds here till I tried reading a novel a few days ago.

thanks ill try it, my phone isn't too old ist a galaxy s10 c

I have 1 but i read from my phone and the adblock browser heats up my phone so I only use it when I need to. do u have alternatives?

sorry friend, won't be able to read a while on this app till they fix their new pop-up adds. they are happening like every minute to me and makes my experience unreasonable. Is there another place u post your story?

I would have said the same as the other person, I'm a creative writing major and I sometimes use the free version of chat gpt, even had a whole class segment to teach how to use it to improve your writing. my suggtion is watch a short video on how to use the tool effectively I did it and it definitely helps you get started. aside from all of that, I wanted to say that I have been enjoying your work and keep up the good work. I'm excited to see where this story goes!

you could try running it through an AI, as long as you have a few minutes so you can fix it up afterwards. I find it useful for when I don't have a person to give feedback and to get some ideas on improvements. though I suggest you don't copy paste it right out of the AI just after having it work on your piece as sometimes they add too many adjectives and sometimes doesn't make sense.

I became impatient and decided to read, great story so far I'm loving it.

a polygraph doesn't detect lies it detects changes in the person. a lie can cause changes in a person that the machine will pick up on, however it is not 100 percent accurate. false positives arnt uncommon when feeling any kind of heightened emotion, even nervousness. if ur in the know you can even manipulate the results of the test rather easily. just an interesting bit of info.

I'm saving this novel for after you write quite a bit, so please don't drop

but it's not visible, it was done in front of danzo and anyone who was awake while he used it on stated that they felt something.

love what u did in this chapter.

asked a scientist I knew and they confirmed the hypothesis and also that a second growth faze would in fact be detrimental.

can u not have it audible, it seems like such a liability.

man, hearing they have the 2 tails present id think it'd be cool if mc finds a way to capture the 2 tails alive and use them as the lab rat he seeks. it would be great for his progress.

if i remember correctly one of the biggest problems that leads to aging is cell division, there is only so many times a cell can devide before the cell becomes more and more unstable, so I think that going through another growth stage may in fact lead to a shorter lifespan. if u can increase the energy of cells and keep the cells from degrading you could increase lifespan. with my limited scientific knowledge that is my hypothesis on why simply going through a second growth faze may in fact lead to a shorter lifespan

good to see I was needlessly worried. but the deception thing I wrote about was definitely a good idea imo.