Patrik_Crown
☬ I am currently engrossed in the captivating process of penning down my own unique story. ☬
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Damn, I love it. The story, progression, everything. You wanna feedback? You don't need to, just continue to do what ya doin'... Writing quality is good, maybe a few mistakes here and there but the story covers them all so you don't even feel irritated at all... Development of the story has hooked u up from the start, where it flows slowly and perfectly. I like Soren's, sometimes humorous comments, and the world's background is well thought out. Overall, this story deserves more than just a few views. Continue in your work, I'll be watchin'...
I'm here for a review :3 So, due to having only 5 chaps, I can't give much, but I'll try... Right in the first chap, I saw some minor, let's say "mistakes..." But it's nothing that can't be fixed :3 Sadly, sometimes, I felt like... I was reading a newspaper article... It's not 'cause of the story but rather due to almost everything being glued together... Personally, after each sentence, I give a space and use a new line= "words that Mc or other character say" who said that and what expression, gesture, or tone they used/did. "And a new line"... "and again..." ..... ........ - space for the story... Mc might walk somewhere with others so I explain/describe that... Between that, I'll throw some dialogue again, etc... U know? Use some space, it will look better, and even when the story is not boring, after I saw those glued-up articles, I felt bored... trust me... It's our natural thing... We don't wanna read long and boring stuff... and even if it isn't boring, our mind already thinks that from just seeing it... But if you divide it, it will look easier and give your story more "space for breathing" as I say... Anyway, also, u might use some definition/boundary for your Mc's thoughts. "..." = Dialogue, things you say in our normal voice... '...' = This might be the sign for things your Characters say with their inner voice, thoughts they think about, etc... It will brighten your story a bit as well... [Don't take this as a criticization, rather understand it as a way how I'm trying to help u :3 ] And now the review itself... I really liked your story~ The writing quality is good [like your description style] and only saw minimal minor mistakes here and there... 5 fallin' stars for that :) Stability? IDK, I'm here for the first time and read this in one row- I'll give u 5, 'cause I can :3 Story development is a surprise tho, [for me at the very least], and I actually like that, but it's cut in the best [awaiting more] 5 for that... Character and World design and background are the same ... [Good yet I miss more chaps] [But 'cause I little roasted u at the start, I'll give u five... If not, I would give u 4] And that's it, hope u like it... Work on yourself and understand that the critique was necessary for your progress. I am glad I could read your story, see ya in the forum :3
Damn, the first chap hit me like a truck... It was a long time since I read something sad, tho it was needed for the progress of the story. I love it, first chap hooked me up, and I let the story drive me through your work like a black muscle car through the town of Ghosts. Overall, due to not having enoguh chaps, I can't release a full review like I want to, but this story has a potential to shine... Don't let it go, this is your chance to prove yourself... I'll be watching...
As always, UelUel is here to make my day... Dang, do I even need to tell you that This Story Is F* Good?! If you don't trust me then choose to read it - [This belongs to everyone who is trying to skip it or read the reviews before diving into this masterpiece!!!] ------------------ Now's time for the actuall review. As always, Uel's sentences makes my lungs cry in pain while I'm dying from laughter... five for that... Stability? Even when I read this in one day, I trust, (just as with all your novels) that your stability is as good as I know it. Development? A cute Fluffy on his adventures... What can be more cute than that? = Five for that... Charcet design? Same as Development = Fluffy's cutness saves everything [5 for that] World background = I like the world where Fluffy secretly operates :) Five for that... Overal, PLEASEEEE CONTINUE UEL!!! I need more!!! <3 <3 <3
First of all, I like your writing style and the design of the surroundings as well as the character, but to give a proper review, I need more than three chaps, at least seven... Anyway, at the very least, I'll try... ... World background... can't much say about that... We know there are many places in the novel which is also in another novel, but... I have too little intel to properly say any critique or prise... Same with the Character and Story development... Character needs more space, and the story needs time to fully blossom... But that doesn't mean it can't be good... Stability? I can't say anything on that 'cuz I read this in one day. To sum it up, it seems the novel is on a good way to grow, but you still need to work harder on it... A few more chaps and it starts to show fruit, just work on it and nourish it like a flower, and this flower will turn into an apple. You got this... We are awaiting your next chap!
Damn, as an Author myself, I shared a similar start. So, to review your hard work... First of all, I like your quality of writing, even when the start seems kinda cold, but later on, it has more fulidity~ = 5 hot and glowing balls of gas for that. Next, Stability? I don't know 'bout that 'cuz I read your novel in one row... But I gave you four for this category... Story development? Now that's something. Look, most of the stories here and not my cup of coffee, tea, milk, whatever you choose, but I kinda cope with yours... Five for that... Character design? The individuals in this novel are quite colorful and have different variations, which I really like in a novel. Sometimes happens that characters in novels tend to be, look or act similar, but that's not your case... Five for that... World background? I found some things I did not fully understand [4 for that], yet I enjoyed this awesome ride with a cup of milk and some cookies... Overall, good novel, giving you thumbs up to continue with your hard work... Awaiting more chaps... For now, I'll just add it to my library... So hurry up, I want more of the Null Mage!
Just a way for the reader to imagine how I imagined this story in my head. Little inspiration from the Anime and Game industries :D
The past is repeating itself each time a new Eva is born. I can't reveal much, but each time the old Eva has a child, it's a girl, and she needs to name her Eva, so that when she has a child, it can be Eva again, and again, etc... It might sound confusing, but later it will be explained...
Only 3 chaps out there so I can't comprehend a solid review. Still, I'll try my best. Stability, I don't need to comment on that, same problems as I have :D Writing Quality is lacking in some spots, but with editing it can be fixed in no time. Development of the Character, Story, and the World is quite interesting for me, not gonna lie. Overall, a good story if you decide to give it a second chance...
Hey there. Because this story has only two chaps out, I can't truly appreciate the work as well as give a larger review. So for now, this is all I can give. Writing quality seems okay for me... 4 Stars... Stability of updates? I have problems with it as well so I will not judge that. Everyone out there has days when nothing comes to our minds. Story developments seem interesting, like the POV of the Protagonist in the sec Chap... The character design seems okay for now. To develop a character, you need more than one chap so, I can't tell yet if it's really good or nah... World back... seems good as well. For now, Hospital is the main target, while we had a small introduction of Ivory's ruined town with cleaners lurking around. All in all, the novels looks good for now, so what about adding new chaps?