ARnab
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ARnab2yrPostedRomance in Paris, what's better then that classic setting? The plotline and the FMC are really complementing to each other. One magnifies the other's beauty. A simple drunken bet being the driving force of the story and the various incidents in the daily life of the characters being so relatable really stirs a perfect combo of a little fantasy in real life. Besides the author's writing style of telling the story to the readers from a third person pov is the best way I like reading a romance novel.❤️❤️❤️
- ARnab2yrPosted
The story is quite good but it has a lot of errors with punctuations and grammatical factors. I think you should review the draft after you complete writing before you publish the chapters cause those mistakes take a lot out of the story and destroys its flow. I also think you should put a little more work in the dialogues and some of them are really out of order. I hope you don't take it the wrong way. Keep up writing.
- ARnab2yrCommentedCh 1 A Family Of Vampires
- ARnab2yrCommented
the " s in this para are out of the mark
"Yes, ma'am you called me to the study?" She said in a respectful manner awaiting our mother's response. "Oh, baby you look so beautiful today... Now I called you to tell you to go get your bag ready for your lessons today." "Yes, ma'am I will immediately," Miah said in a sweet tone then rushing down the hall to her room." I look at mother and I sigh then say, "Mother when is father coming back I am starving to death?" She there and then replied, "Who knows James calm down and focus on your sentence, and he will return soon I hope." - ARnab2yrCommented
and a long blue dress ( wearing instead of and would be better IMO )
"Miah! Come upstairs to the study immediately!" My mother shouted throughout the Duskman mansion. My sister used her vampire speed to get here, rushed in, and ran into one of the bookshelves in the giant study room. My sister Miah is about four feet three with loud poofy brown hair with a light brown skin tone and a long blue dress along with white legging under it all and fancy heels on her feet. - ARnab2yrCommented
And my entire family... ( it's quite odd and a little bit out of the line )
To be completely honest I hated that we had to hide our true selves from the public but that's the life of a teenage vampire. My family has only moved once like 2 decades ago and it was horrible. And my entire family are vampires this has been so for centuries so I believe. I have 4 siblings and two of them are younger and the other two are older than me. - ARnab2yrCommented
honest,I
To be completely honest I hated that we had to hide our true selves from the public but that's the life of a teenage vampire. My family has only moved once like 2 decades ago and it was horrible. And my entire family are vampires this has been so for centuries so I believe. I have 4 siblings and two of them are younger and the other two are older than me. - ARnab2yrCommented
Bostic, North Carolina
"My name is James Duskman I am 16 and I am from Bostic North Carolina and I just moved here not too long ago." I recited aloud, "Excellent James you need to remember this for when we have to move... Just in case someone finds out about our family's secret." My mother said to me with her hands hugging each other while smiling at me. - ARnab2yrCommented
Duskman,I
"My name is James Duskman I am 16 and I am from Bostic North Carolina and I just moved here not too long ago." I recited aloud, "Excellent James you need to remember this for when we have to move... Just in case someone finds out about our family's secret." My mother said to me with her hands hugging each other while smiling at me. - ARnab2yrPosted
Damn the writing style l, quite the unique feature. Although many may suggest you to change it or say something like it's unprofessional I think you shouldn't change it( only my opinion, no to disregard others' ). Thought I think a little bit of work should be put to the expressing of emotions of the characters since you are using a dialogue style of writing, like when the dead bodies are described it's makes the reader (some at least) literally feel disgusted ( i.e, actually very fantastic ) but as of the person who is actually using the dialogues to describe it doesn't feel many emotions ( IMO) so it would be better to express their feelings, expressions and conditions while they are in the middle of conversation. Like while starting the conversation you can try expressing their facial expression and in the middle how it suddenly changes as the situation progresses. The graphic description of the deaths is awfully awesome. Waiting for more chapters.
- ARnab2yrPosted
- ARnab2yrReplied to Brian_Hanes_117
Ain't it already like what you said?
This chapter has been deleted. - ARnab2yrPosted
Just reading the synopsis I started getting the GOT vives. Entering the story I was spellbound by the plotline and though I really love this genre but I don't get to read more on this in the way I want the plotline to go. Impressive job author 👍 I hope the story reaches some great heights with a lot of drama, romance and magic to it.
- ARnab2yrCommented
Neutral to nemesis, quite the transformation
I will start by taking out their military leaders and the Chimera King. Most importantly I must kill that bitch Dr. Misami. I will slay a GOD! - ARnab2yrCommented
Large wall ( The feeling of AOT oh yeah)
The Chimera Faction always had large walls and they prolly sealed themselves off for a couple of years in the case that the chemical lingers. I know I wouldn't have taken the chance if I didn't have to. They might have no idea about these bodies starting to come alive and if so I think they will want me as an ally to kill them. Worst case scenario I will give them my life in exchange for letting me be a part of their military until the undead is no longer a threat. - ARnab2yrCommented
What now, drone in Edo Period Salute It's becoming more and more interesting
I finally drift off. Not even thirty minutes go by I hear Cole barking. I quickly grab my katana thinking it's one of the undead, but no. There's a beeping sound nearby. I follow Cole into the woods behind the dojo and as we stumble upon a drone emitting a signal of some sort. I realize after inspecting it that it's one of the drones that was used to spread Asura's Breath. - ARnab2yrCommented
while, while
Either way, this place is perfect to hold up for a while while I train. No dead bodies that can come alive, a lot of food, and this Dojo even has the equipment to clean and sharpen my sword. Training can wait, tomorrow I want to spend all day with my new dog. I think this will be the first night I can get some good sleep; We found somewhere that doesn't smell or look like a battlefield filled with corpses plus just laying next to a living thing brings me so much relief and joy. - ARnab2yrCommented
Lucky dog German shepherd in Japan Guess Usui is quite lucky too
"Thank you, Cole, you saved my life in more ways than you know" Usui weeping while embracing his new dog.