User_Derp
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User_Derp14hCommentedWhy does this feel like a fight scene is about to start
The train's cabin doors then automatically closed, and we all felt a small jerk, signaling the train had started moving. As I started to observe Katou, Lala's gaze soon changed to the windows. Every so often the train would pop out of the underground, letting us get a good view of the moving city...- User_Derp14hCommented
Her = His
"Tokyo consists of twenty three wards. Our current position resides in the Chiyoda Ward. Sainan High is located here, and it's where we will spend most of our time. A fun time to spend our date later will likely take place either in the Shinjuku Ward or Shibuya Ward. Might even get fancy enough to stop by Ginza. That's where all the higher end boutiques are.", I began to explain how the wards looked to Lala, only to lean toward her ear, and whisper into it. "Ginza also has several high-end lingerie shops too, I promised we'd take you there, didn't I?", I continued, revealing a playful grin over her lips. - User_Derp2dReplied to User_DerpCh 1 prologuedetailStarting a new faction in the Halo universe with StarCraft TechnologyVideo Games · Mastar_Chef
- User_Derp2dCommented
This Sounds like a Great start but the problem is some bad grammar in some places so if you ever get in to a spot that you just don't know where to continue this novel from try and rewrite it because by then your grammar should be much better
Ch 1 prologuedetailStarting a new faction in the Halo universe with StarCraft TechnologyVideo Games · Mastar_Chef - User_Derp2dCommented
he wanted to unlike more of its secretes = he wanted to find out more of its secretes
This paragraph has been deleted. - User_Derp2dCommented
Interstanding = understanding
Aurelia explained the purpose behind each formation and how to recognize them in the heat of battle. "Interstanding the formation your allies are in tells you their intent and how you can best support the collective effort. It's about synergy, Exterminus. And how individual actions contribute to a larger strategy." - User_Derp2dCommented
I feel Ike a worked out for a week = I feel like I worked out for a week
This paragraph has been deleted. - User_Derp3dCommented
Average below = below average
I get an average below character ability power I guess, Just like my life never always continue disappointed me cursed me till the end and never once show me miracle happen... miracle only show me once that is lead me to death. (depression) - User_Derp3dCommented
By the way, why would I have the ability too when I became one of the characters? (In this Sentence you do not need the "why")
By the way, why would I have the ability too when I became one of the characters? Does God allow humans to have power now? or am I a special one? I just don't get it... Superman? Won't I be caught and anatomized by the mad scientist? - User_Derp3dCommented
I have seen from what you said in chapter 1 about English not being your first language is Chinese your first language then? because this chapter really feels like what an TL will feel like when someone does not understand the grammar and correct wording to words in English has
Ch 2 I Got a Character and System - User_Derp3dReplied to User_DerpCh 64 Not Time Shenanigans
- User_Derp4dCommentedCh 2 3 is a magic number
- User_Derp5dCommented
could = couldn't
"I didn't think it would be this difficult to understand how your forge works. If Tenkai found out that I am a Smithing Goddess who could use a forge, I wouldn't hear the end of it." - User_Derp5dReplied to User_Derp
correcting on 17's power level is 640m
"The androids were stronger than me but not 'that' strong, only slightly above me, they had the advantage though because they worked together whenever I fought one of them. These ones though… they feel two times stronger than the ones in my time. A rough estimate, though they proved that today with my easy defeat to them." Trunks snarled, grabbing his hands as he explained that. Raven replied, slightly roughening up Gohan's hair as she passed him by, Gohan healed her just before with one of the last Senzu beans. - User_Derp5dCommented
welp then that means 18 has a power lvl of 560m and 17 has a power lvl of 600m and 16 has a power lvl of 880m
"The androids were stronger than me but not 'that' strong, only slightly above me, they had the advantage though because they worked together whenever I fought one of them. These ones though… they feel two times stronger than the ones in my time. A rough estimate, though they proved that today with my easy defeat to them." Trunks snarled, grabbing his hands as he explained that. Raven replied, slightly roughening up Gohan's hair as she passed him by, Gohan healed her just before with one of the last Senzu beans. - User_Derp5dReplied to User_Derp
but in here they had the potara earings give a 100x to the base power lvl before the SSJ3 multy making it a 80k when the Fusion dance only gives a 10x to the base power lvl so if you want to have smaller numbers make the god transformation a 10k and not 100k Also what are you going to give the mystic transformation multy that Gohan got from the Old Kai doing there Potential release and the multy that i think is correct is 1k and im not even sure that it can be layered on other transformations like mystic x SSJ God
Reappearing and sighting my target, I gritted my teeth and used my full power, Kaio-ken times twelve while my 'Super Saiyan' form was still unlocked and immediately attacked Android Thirteen with overwhelming might. - User_Derp5dReplied to User_Derp
but i could be wrong with my short search off the web for these multys
Reappearing and sighting my target, I gritted my teeth and used my full power, Kaio-ken times twelve while my 'Super Saiyan' form was still unlocked and immediately attacked Android Thirteen with overwhelming might. - User_Derp6dReplied to NamelessKingSlayer
If you say so
This chapter has been deleted. - User_Derp6dCommented
on a negative side affect it turns you in to a loli if you use to much energy
The most important thing about that attack is as long as its user had enough energy inside their body, they could adjust the power and range. It could be a precision strike equivalent to that of Frieza's Death Beam, or Goku's Kamehameha, launching a wide-ranged energy beam capable of destroying miles and miles of land. It all depended on its user and their desired effect.