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NB00000

NB00000

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2021-05-12 JoinedGlobal
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129
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Commented

    Probably.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Serene and The Six Realms
    Fantasy · Sunny_Shumail
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Replied to Halimah_Bello

    Thanks!

    "This is your last night of camping, Prince," said a masked man who was dressed like midnight from head to toe. He squeezed the trigger. The gunshot echoed through the woods, interrupting the silent night. An owl cried out in fright. The armed man disappeared into a bizarre thick green light.
    altalt
    NTa
    Fantasy · NB00000
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Commented

    The royal library must be so cool.

    "We need to consult the royal library. Some book is sure to have information related to this kind of incident. Crimzon and I will go and gather information." Zian offered.
    altalt
    Serene and The Six Realms
    Fantasy · Sunny_Shumail
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Replied to Sunny_Shumail

    You're welcome.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Serene and The Six Realms
    Fantasy · Sunny_Shumail
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Replied to Sunny_Shumail

    You're welcome.

    altalt
    Serene and The Six Realms
    Fantasy · Sunny_Shumail
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Replied to Sunny_Shumail

    Maybe. Maybe not. Read on to find out.

    As I returned my hands to Catherine's hair, there was the scene of the lifeless Prince Levi again flashing before me. It never stopped until I was through with her hair.
    altalt
    NTa
    Fantasy · NB00000
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Posted

    Nice storyline. There are, however, some grammatical errors, but they won't hinder you from being engaged in the story. I wish the author all the best in improving and continuing to develop the story.

    altalt
    THE WARRIOR PRINCESS
    History · Halimah_Bello
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Replied to Sunny_Shumail

    I'm anxious.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Serene and The Six Realms
    Fantasy · Sunny_Shumail
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Replied to

    You're welcome.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Serene and The Six Realms
    Fantasy · Sunny_Shumail
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Replied to Sunny_Shumail

    Thanks.

    These crystal trees were very unique and only a handful of them grew in our world. There were very ancient and no one knew for sure who had planted them. None had bloomed for centuries now.
    altalt
    Serene and The Six Realms
    Fantasy · Sunny_Shumail
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Replied to HaileyCelaro_1

    You're welcome. I understand you have to write what you're good at.

    altalt
    DesperateMeasures
    Fantasy · HaileyCelaro_1
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Commented

    I like this opening paragraph.

    My name is Iris, I am from a faraway kingdom, called Philadelphia, I was trained to become a warrior princess and also learned the way of a princess, I never believed in true love, maybe because I was a princess, who spent most of her time training for war. I am very good at sword fighting and defense.
    altalt
    THE WARRIOR PRINCESS
    History · Halimah_Bello
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Posted

    I enjoy the dialogues, but I wish there would be some clear descriptions of the characters and their surroundings. I find the end of the first chapter intriguing. I think it adds a little twist to the story.

    altalt
    Sixth of September
    Teen · KeyJaySea0620
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Posted

    I'm not fond of the curse words used in the story, but it's an interesting storyline. Some punctuation marks are missing, and I recommend shortening the sentences that are too lengthy. I wish the author all the best.

    altalt
    Those That Rise
    Fantasy · HopperTheKing
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Commented

    I enjoy the dialogues, but I wish there would be some descriptions of the characters and the locations. I find the end of this chapter intriguing. I think it's a little twist to the story.

    Ch 1 CHAPTER I: MEETING THE DOU
    altalt
    Sixth of September
    Teen · KeyJaySea0620
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Posted

    The writing quality is excellent. I'm not a fan of the bloodiness or the cursed words, but this story grabs attention. The author is an excellent storyteller.

    altalt
    DesperateMeasures
    Fantasy · HaileyCelaro_1
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Replied to Sunny_Shumail

    I agree.

    Ch 5 Chapter 5
    altalt
    DesperateMeasures
    Fantasy · HaileyCelaro_1
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Commented

    I can't believe how she's going about as if she didn't just kill her father. Smh.

    I go to sit on one of the lounge chairs in front of the TV but Enzo pulls me towards another door and I ask him, "What now, is there a room full of puppies and kittens or something?" He laughs and says, "No, even better." He pushes open the door and I almost melt as I see a massive circular jacuzzi bathtub inside the beautiful bathroom. I push Enzo out and say, "Thank you so much and I love you but I'll see you in about forty minutes and about ten years added to my life." I hear his faint laugh through the door as I start filling up the tub with water, soaps, oils, and scents.
    altalt
    DesperateMeasures
    Fantasy · HaileyCelaro_1
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Commented

    She even had the guts to burn his body? Sigh.

    I left his body on the floor and ran upstairs to gather my things. I packed everything I had, which wasn't much in a bag, and texted Enzo, telling him what happened. He texted me back, almost immediately, insisting that I go stay with him. It definitely wouldn't be a bad deal considering that Enzo lives in a nice ass penthouse apartment but I would feel bad putting him out so I politely decline. He reads it and doesn't respond. I take the bag that has all my stuff in it, my guns, and run downstairs. I drench my Father in gasoline and walk around the house, spilling it everywhere, and took it outside where I stand with all of my stuff. I clicked on a lighter and let it fly. I watched as my childhood home went up in flames and I had never felt happier in my life.
    altalt
    DesperateMeasures
    Fantasy · HaileyCelaro_1
    detail
  • NB00000
    NB000001yr
    Commented

    So sad. Smh.

    I heard my father curse when he came to, He looks at me and tried to hit me but he couldn't reach me. I stepped on both of his arms, crouched down, and pulled out my pistol. I pointed it straight at his temple and stared into his pale green eyes. I wanted my defiant face to be the last thing that he sees in his miserable life. I felt his warm blood splatter on my face as I pulled the trigger and a slow smile made its way onto my face. I had finally done it. And it felt fucking good.
    altalt
    DesperateMeasures
    Fantasy · HaileyCelaro_1
    detail