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daylightmoon123445

daylightmoon123445

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Hi, I'm Daylightmoon, love reading and writing!

2021-03-25 JoinedGlobal
-d

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4

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129
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Posted

    Hi, your book looks like something you could sell in amazon with some tweaks here and there! I like your writing style, it is just as unique and good as any good author. I see a lot of potential, and this is one of my fav books to review bc of the well spaced paragraphs and nicely formulated sentences. I would suggest you to keep reading and hope you reach your goal you were talking about at the end of the chapters.

    altalt
    AWAKENED WITH A COMPLEX SIMPLICITY SYSTEM [THE FUTIAN SERIES]
    Fantasy · BrightBrain256
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Commented

    That was a good first chapter, and I'm looking forward to read more. But I would have to advise you to be aware of the punctuation. Otherwise, it's a great start to the story

    Ch 1 Chapter 1: Prologue
    altalt
    AWAKENED WITH A COMPLEX SIMPLICITY SYSTEM [THE FUTIAN SERIES]
    Fantasy · BrightBrain256
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Commented

    Aww, you can't start a story with things like these, they make me cry

    My father was one of the greatest Generals of the Hei Empire. Despite not having seen my mother, the love my father showered me with, covered it all.
    altalt
    AWAKENED WITH A COMPLEX SIMPLICITY SYSTEM [THE FUTIAN SERIES]
    Fantasy · BrightBrain256
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Replied to BrightBrain256

    alright let's do it!

    Chapter 1: Prologue
    altalt
    AWAKENED WITH A COMPLEX SIMPLICITY SYSTEM [THE FUTIAN SERIES]
    Fantasy · BrightBrain256
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Replied to Swaggles

    Hey dude, thx for your honest critiq- ehem, review. It's true that it's annoying that it's locked early, but there are only 50 chapters, so it's auto-locked. Sorry about that!

    altalt
    Let's make history!
    Fantasy · daylightmoon123445
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Posted

    The writing style is unique, the idea is quite original, and MC seems like a good person? Overall it's a good story and I would recommend it to anyone who like my hero academy, or adventure stories in general. Kudos to the author and keep writing!

    altalt
    Spy Mage System
    Fantasy · GMSJakers
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Posted

    The first few chapters were quite dark, and selling someone at such a young age is just...painful, I hope everything will turn out good in the end :( The writing is good, I would suggest cutting down on the long paragraphs(bc it's strains my eyes to read them) and the writing style is unique. overall, the story is well-written, so kudos to the author and keep writing

    altalt
    Home is Here
    Fantasy Romance · KC_writing
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Commented

    No amount of sorry and food will take back the nightmares she faced with the nobleman

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Home is Here
    Fantasy Romance · KC_writing
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Commented

    Noooo long chapters, my arch-nemesis

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Home is Here
    Fantasy Romance · KC_writing
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Posted

    Author this story is fast-paced and unique, from switching between past and present tense, like it's literally my kind of thing! I'm sure anyone who reads it will enjoy it(well, maybe except for some light-hearted people lol) I like how the story is developing and your writing is great! Good job and keep writing!

    altalt
    doesn't matter L
    Fantasy · xanahi
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Posted

    Author, how do you not have any reviews yet? This story is awesome and I mean it! I've already added it in my library. The characters, the plot, the story development are all great! The writing style is unique with the humor a cherry at the top. I don't see any major world background yet, but I can expect it in the following chapters since he relives his past. The idea is quite unique, and I'm here to see this blow up! Kudos to the author and keep writing!

    altalt
    The God of Everything
    Fantasy · Swaggles
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Commented

    I love your story, the humor is on point! Everything is just great! The character-development, the plot, the writing is absolutely amazing! Good job, author!

    Ch 1 The Future
    altalt
    The God of Everything
    Fantasy · Swaggles
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Commented
    She said it twice to emphasize the fact that I fake my emotions and reactions because I legitimately bear none due to my chaotic past. It's the main reason why I went on a blind rage and destroyed about 90% of the Gods, and all of the Entitled Gods other than 3.
    altalt
    The God of Everything
    Fantasy · Swaggles
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Commented

    For me evolution is the mutation of animal genes and adaptation. Sorry, been doing a lot of research in biology.

    [Evolution. What exactly comes to mind when that term is mentioned? Typically, it's used to refer to "growth". An alternative would be "experience". The undeniable truth is, overcoming hardships grants experience, but also consumes emotions. The more hardships you experience and overcome, the more your emotions will be affected and drained. In a nutshell, evolution is created by the reduction of human emotions. Taking that context into consideration, have I reached the peak of evolution?]
    altalt
    The God of Everything
    Fantasy · Swaggles
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Posted

    The story is great! The writing style is unique to hook the reader in the first chapters. But I didn't like how you pictured the FC as a sweet, innocent little angel, those are a bit...cliche? But hey, that's just my opinion, the story is great so far and I'm looking forward to how this ends. Kudos to the author!

    altalt
    The Devil's Prey
    Contemporary Romance · Juliet_Omuadona
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Commented

    whyyy

    He heard his mother was dead while giving birth to him. Since then, he never met his mother and only saw her picture. His father would always say that his mother was above watching over him. Now that his father was dead, he was scared that, just like his mother, he would only have pictures to see in the future.
    altalt
    The Devil's Prey
    Contemporary Romance · Juliet_Omuadona
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Commented
    Some of the men even had impatient in their gaze. No one was paying attention to whatever was being said. "Would we not see dad again?" the young boy turned to the two ladies as the casket was lowered. He was just a child and did not fully understand the concept of death.
    altalt
    The Devil's Prey
    Contemporary Romance · Juliet_Omuadona
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Commented
    Then, the vendor packed the fruits in a bag and handed them over to me. "Take these with you. And stuff your bellies with them. Moreover, don't even think about the payment. Just consider it a reward for protecting us. It's all because of you, knights, that we folk can sleep at night peacefully," he said.
    altalt
    A Knight's Honour
    Fantasy Romance · DrFariyahAshfaq
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Commented

    the fruits are mouthwatering? Strange, never heard that before

    "But I have done nothing yet," I spoke while looking over the mouthwatering fruits.
    altalt
    A Knight's Honour
    Fantasy Romance · DrFariyahAshfaq
    detail
  • daylightmoon123445
    daylightmoon12344525d
    Posted

    Hi author, you did a really great job writing this story, kudos to that! I see a lot of potential here. The characters are great and the synopsis is so eye-catching, I'm sure this story will pick up in no time!! Your writing has a few grammar errors here and there, nothing that can't be fixed with grammarly and some proof reading. And yes, I'm not a big fan of slow-paced webnovels, but hell, this is so good, I think I'm going to stick to see what happens.

    altalt
    A Knight's Honour
    Fantasy Romance · DrFariyahAshfaq
    detail