Yans_Tad
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I wanted to read this ff so i gave it a chance but man the mc is such a wimp that cries way too much which is not the best thing but its not the end of the world, but his relation with the fmc oc is just too weird and unrealistic and their actions are just too proposterous in the first chapters. the characters interactions in the first chapters are just way too weird and urarhara is out of character, i think the aproach taken by the author to the introduction are a turn off to whatever creative ideas for the following of the story, i really was creeped out by the noseating emotion that exist between a the mc and the first strager that was helping him, it's as if nobody ever helped him which is unrealistic since he is blind, most people are helpful.
I think the narrative choice of telling the story in a series flashback is terrible for a chapter by chapter story release it makes the reader feel like the story stopped moving, and most of the time you only can have shallow understandsing of what hapenned because the author just glosses over the event and says we will talk about it in detail at a different time but how can that be interesting when the suspense surrounding the events is taken away, when we already know the outcome and even what hapenned grosly. verry unfortunate choice, because the characters depiction is pretty good but when you have a series of flashback that are glossed over constantly it kind of kills the story and stalls it
the author of this book is a nationalist chinese and a racist, in the sequel he says that he will send black people to japan to drop the iq of the population like wtf is that, and for some reason he goes to china to bend the knee to the chinese emperor when it wasnt necessary and he wouldnt do it for the holy roman empire emperor and his justification my ego isnt hurt by that, also half the book is infodump on why china is better at everything, war, food, politics... and i mean everything, he also complains 150 times about how europeans are stinky dirty people trhought the book, it has a few good ideas but everything comes too easy and the hiring an depiction of historical is too unrealistic also the characters other than the mc are too stupid.
ok first mantra can be so powerfull that in some cases it can read toughts. Second, it is obvious that he has to be surrounded by people to achieve something but i dont understand what revealing such an unbelievable secret achieves, ok you are from another world, what if they dont believe you and think you are crazy it's only in this shonen worlds where they accept you for what you are imediately, also i already said that life changes people so why do you expect that two kids who lived in slavery and suffering from there young age would never turn against someone who helped them, ungraterful people are everywhere they might in the future sell vlad information to make money, it's not like they stay in contact after the breakout. Let me give you an example, imagine that they are captured back after the escape when they are seperated and then they get interogated about vlad whereabouts , i believe that if there will isnt strong enough they would reveal to their torturer everything about vlad including his origin. Also, i dont see what revealing it acomplishes, like seriously what is the point, is he trying to make them trust him more, well they already rely on him and in a sense there trust in him is maxed out, so revealing his identity acomplishes nothing. And being surrounded with good people doesnt mean that you have to tell everyhthing about yourself, if he treats them right and cutivates there loyalty he can rely on them no need to be extravagant. so relying on the good nature of a human being to take such big secret to the grave by someone who has been betrayed by his own brother and subjects and multiple alies a multitude of times in his previous life is pretty ridiculous to me. But keep it up, i 'm suure some people dont mind the wholoesome aspect of the relashionship being perfect trust and kumbaya, but it is not my Jam, especialy if the mc has a legitimate excuse to become more paranoid than any other human in history. i cant believe you dont see the irony in that chapter, he spent the whole chapter telling a story about how trusting people made him lose everything and even got him killed, and at the end he reveals information that would make him the most wanted human in the history of this world.
i get it but having knowledge of the futur is enough as a cheat being able to hypnotize people on top of it kind of makes it too easy for the MC witch would make the story less interesting. we all like the journey not the destination. So if the mc bitchslaps everybody on his way to the throne with militaty might and hypnosed infiltrated people making the process too easy where he doesnt even have to rely on scheming it kind of underminds his achivements if there is no antagonists worth the chalenge what is the point of the protagonist. the champion of the world vs an ******* isn't an interesting fight to watch there has to be opponents that are worth the trouble top make the mc shine just like the tywin arc. Setbacks are good it shows there are worthy opponents. anyways, great job and keep it up.
Story is Ok, a good read. Although i have a few issues with it. -one, there is no way a rookie gennin gets a c rank mission for his first one no matter how much of genius he is. you didnt have to describe the D rank mission just mention it after a one mounth time skip or something. - two, lying about the agressor seems to be a big issue, he should at least tell his father. -three, why would obito do a puny assassination on a random merchant, i mean you dont use a bazooka to kill an ant, and why would he keep the shinobi team alive taking the risk of them identifying him, even there is a reason it should be mentioned. -four, we should at least have a hint on who killed his parents and why, i know it might be something that will be discussed later, but just saying they were killed and not mentioning them since leaves a sour taste to me.
that wansn't a skirmish that was the frontline the hokage being a reinforcement is completly logical especialy if there is no troupes to spare and the tides were changing. Also never is it mentioned that obito has noticed his escape, zetsu is the one that collects info and why would he frame a chunin he doesn't he realy give a fuk about chunnin.
completly disagree with you hogakes can fight in the war. kakashi not being killed isnt that hard to comprehend he didnt have the time chakra or the energy especialy against a guy like kakashi who can have a trump card. imlo one of the mosqt logiacal story of naruto in it's plot develepoment no rinnegfan or tenseigan from the start i hate when the MC becomes biology major out of nowhere and mixes his genes like it was an omelette
I dont unterstand why would the son of a clan head that knows how cruel fang yaun can be take the risk of angering him for a petty inheritence, he is in the clan head faction it is not like he is in a rush to leave he has the timetable to everything that is going to happen and it seems he could have been rank 3 by working hard and using the clan resources then leave by faking his death or something just before everything goes apeshit, he could literally just buy a relic gu in the in the caravan and the problem is solved. it is utterly ridiculous imo to take that kind of risk for a mortal inheritence it's not like it is an immortal one. Also the ren zu legends ending is utter non sense (no offense) if it was that clear, thieving heaven verenerable would have guessed it too and there would have been records of him collecting the 10 perfect physics when we know that the 10 perfect physics are used to create the rank 9 phoetus gu not some bullshit portal to earth. As they say mc can never be smarter than the author.