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Kystal88

Kystal88

Lv2

I'm an aspiring writer, hoping to share my imagination with the world :)

2020-08-06 JoinedUnited States
-d

Writing

9.5h

of reading

49

Read books

Badges

5

Moments

75
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Posted

    Overall a very interesting and good story. I can see where a couple of folks have left comments with suggestions for edits- they looked to be correct, and they'll make the story a little more polished. I enjoyed reading the prologue-type of introduction, and it really set up your story for success in the later chapters, very good use of that writing tactic. The characters' interactions are above average here on WN, and the suspense build up is perfect. Good job, and keep writing, dear author!

    altalt
    The Elusive Book Keeper
    LGBT+ · Dark_Scholars
    detail
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Commented

    Accidentally added a " at the end of this sentence. Please delete when fixed, dear author :)

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    The Elusive Book Keeper
    LGBT+ · Dark_Scholars
    detail
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Posted

    What I like about the story is that it isn't cookie-cutter powerful MC that knows all, sees all, can do all. It's likable and interesting with the threat of the unknown keeping the character off balance. The storyline is engaging, and I enjoy reading the interactions between the characters so far. If you have the ability, I would recommend finding an editor for your work to give it that extra 'polish' and make it easier to digest. All in all, definitely a good read. Keep it up, dear author!

    altalt
    Multi-Gene
    Sci-fi · Typhlix
    detail
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Commented

    I believe it was still meant to be Griffin? Please delete when corrected / if I am incorrect, dear author :) :)

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Multi-Gene
    Sci-fi · Typhlix
    detail
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Replied to sir_impeccable

    thank you!!!! <3

    altalt
    Deleted
    Fantasy · Kystal88
    detail
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Replied to ElleDoves

    Thank you so much for your kind words, it means a lot!!! :) :) encouragement like yours keeps me going :D

    altalt
    Deleted
    Fantasy · Kystal88
    detail
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Replied to Alaura90

    Thank you so much for your kind words!! You made me smile so much :)

    altalt
    A Friend for Christmas
    Fantasy · Kystal88
    detail
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Posted

    Story is very good, an interesting take on the politics of the gods. It makes me think of Diablo, somehow. (compliment!) I read until chapter 6, the action was well-paced, and the world building was spot on, explaining just enough that the reader isn't lost, but not shoving exposition in where it isn't necessary. I enjoyed my time reading this, Dear Author, I am glad that you are able to continue writing successfully!

    altalt
    TRAILING SHADOWS
    Fantasy · sir_impeccable
    detail
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Posted

    Hello. I find your work engaging. The premise is interesting, and the MC has a good driving reason 'why'. I enjoyed reading your novel, and read all 7 chapters before I realized it. The action starts right away as well, which is good for grabbing attention, and as always, there is something to fear from an enemy that can't be reasoned or bargained with. Please continue writing, dear author!

    altalt
    Timeline System
    Sci-fi · ElleDoves
    detail
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Posted

    This is a very powerful and well written story. There is a certain gravity and weight behind the author's words that I haven't run into very often on online platforms. The characters are multi-dimensional and well written, their interactions feel natural (family to family, peer to peer, senior to junior) It's also very educational in some ways, under the guise of a story. Well done, author!

    altalt
    [Down for Maintenance]
    Fantasy · lilGoat
    detail
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Posted

    I always enjoyed reading mystery works, so I was excited to begin this one. I am reminded of Conan Doyle's style of writing with the short stories all somewhat connected together. (Compliment, btw, I love ACD) I PERSONALLY always enjoy the character being undescribed and ungendered, as my own bias, makes it easier for anybody on earth to put themselves in the MC's (or supporting character in this case!) shoes. My own MC's I go out of the way to never mention hair or eye color, race, etc. Again, my own bias there. The "mysteries" are spaced out enough for the reader to draw their own conclusions, something else I enjoy. I like your work, Author, keep it up!

    This book has been deleted.
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Replied to CoolForniteplayer

    Thanks so much <3

    altalt
    Deleted
    Fantasy · Kystal88
    detail
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Posted

    Hello author! I like the premise of the story, isekai is one of my favorite genres, tbh. I like the potential in your story, and the characters are engaging and interesting. The lore of the story is good, and it brings depth into the tale. The one thing I would say, Author, that might be constructive criticism, is in English it is hard for me to read the story. I'm sure that's true of most translations, though... keep that fire in your belly for writing :3

    altalt
    THE DIFFICULTEST SYSTEM EVER
    Action · CoolForniteplayer
    detail
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Commented

    More of the strange "???" characters here. Sorry, author!!

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    THE DIFFICULTEST SYSTEM EVER
    Action · CoolForniteplayer
    detail
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Commented

    When I copy/paste in my books, extra odd characters get thrown in there, you can see the two "??" symbols here. I really don't know where they come from, but you can edit them out, author, if you so please

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    THE DIFFICULTEST SYSTEM EVER
    Action · CoolForniteplayer
    detail
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Replied to Samcrowned00

    Congratulations dear author! I'm so happy for you!

    altalt
    Poisonous Lips
    Urban · Samcrowned00
    detail
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Posted

    Positives: very interesting story line, the characters are heartbreaking and involved, the volume was completed so that's great. The world background is engaging. The story can get a little confusing, and the dialogue, but it happens sometimes when you're writing, and it can always be cleaned up. Keep going Author!

    altalt
    Alexithymia: The Curse of Transcendence [Remastered]
    Sci-fi · evolx24
    detail
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Replied to RJMidnight

    I need to find an editor, for sure. I wrote something along the lines of thirty chapters in the first week and was more focused on speed. Thank you for the review! It means a lot. (I actually only put in "Girl" from Heru after someone mistook the MC as a man. I don't like novels that shove gender, power, or exposition down your throat) I am almost sure I will never physically describe her, to make it easier to make what the reader likes. I do try to shorten the paragraphs later, that's one thing that my readers have all said LOL! Again, thanks so much!!!!

    altalt
    Deleted
    Fantasy · Kystal88
    detail
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Posted

    The language of the novel is very concise and easy to read, I really enjoyed being able to understand what is going on clearly. Characters are well defined, some lovable automatically (BABY THEO!) and their interactions are very well done and written. I really am enjoying this novel so far, and am interested in learning more about the world as it continues!

    altalt
    The Porter is Secretly an SS-Level Hunter
    Fantasy · RJMidnight
    detail
  • Kystal88
    Kystal883yr
    Posted

    Interesting story premise, it's interesting to have a villainous/flawed MC as well. Good exposition of the character's inner thought process.

    altalt
    Poisonous Lips
    Urban · Samcrowned00
    detail