MrMonoxid
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I would really like for you to find a better way to give exposition, this here just sounds forced, why would a royal historian have to explain obvious history to an old king who probably already knows plenty of that?
I would leave him dead, it sets the tone for the future of the UN
You've been waiting to get that out of your system huh?
At least he doesn't eat woman to achieve that
Time to build some UV laser's
Love the story so far but I think this description literally applies to any female except the ugly one in your story
Really like this story so far, although I personally feel like the writing of the romance is a bit cringy, but thats just my opinion. Love the development of technology and the story is progressing really good so far. I hope it keeps the pace and personally I hope these romance subplots either get less cringy or toned down in volume.
Where did the sudden morale compass come from, a few chapters earlier he didn't give a crap about the residents of his colony nor the well being of the co system for the "greater good" But when it comes to actually killing the accomplices of an actual monster blake resorts back to morale?
Hey! Well, you being one of the few readers that gave me a review was really helpful, and even though you probably already forget all about this book, I just wanted to thank you for the support you gave me! Unfortunately I'll leave this book in it's unfinished state, the description already said that I stopped writing and am currently working on another book with around the same theme. It'll be very different, but somewhat close to RTW in the setting If it ever releases, maybe you'd like to give it a shot! Once again, thank you for critiquing my book and being honest. I wish you a happy day/night :)
I find your analysis of the story very intriguing, as it really resonated with me when thinking about it twice. This book actually is and remains one of my favorites in the kingdom-building category, as it hits all the notes I personally like in respect to said kingdom-building. However, I never really cared for any of the other aspects of the story until recently. Your assessment is one I find very informative, and as I am trying to write a novel in kind of the same fashion, (Guy gets transported to another world and builds his own kingdom while bringing about a proto-industrial revolution) I want to ask of you how exactly you would change some plot points or characters. For example, let's take Roland's character. You summed him up pretty well in my opinion, but, just as a little experiment, we would make Roland self-conscious of his actions. A slow descent from an ordinary engineer to a ruthless hypocritical dictator with obscured moral compass, all throughout his descent you would notice him cracking, maybe sleepless nights as he had the countless nobles he coldly ordered the execution off talk to him and scream at him in agony. Or he notices how cold he has become, just being able to command an entire army throughout a tiresome, bloody, and horrifying war he himself provoked. Of course, for that to work, he would have to have an actual character at the beginning of the story or rather a personality, which frankly, he does not. For me, he always seemed flat, like some kind of self-insert who relied on modern knowledge to propel himself forward. Or as you also said, making the supporting cast question his regime. Maybe one of the witches notices that besides freeing them, the ruling structure of their new kingdom hasn't actually changed much. How about multiple witches noticing this, but some willfully ignoring it as they were safe? Or some of them slowly getting sick of being used as nothing but tools by Roland? This could add another layer of depth to a small portion of them, at least in my opinion. You have many other good points in your reviews, such as there being no obvious hindrance to Roland and the leading cast, and that any obstacle they encounter bends to their will, when, for example, timothy completely destroyed Garcia and smartly outplayed the first prince (Can't remember his name right now but I think his name was Gerald?) as he secured the throne. But suddenly, as he challenged the Western Region, his IQ seemingly dropped by one hundred points. What if the assault on the Royal capital that Roland ordered failed with massive casualties? Or how about someone actually betraying Roland, leading to Timothy actually arming his own forces with flintlocks and artillery. If explored more, I think kingdom building and especially stuff like rapid technological progression could lead to some extremely cool and tense moments. Just think about a prolonged war between Timothy and Roland, with the former having a larger army with flintlocks and the advantage of controlling most resources, but having an unstable territory and a poorly trained army. I am not sure if you can see this comment, as it is already 2 years old, but if you read this, I hope you can reply :D
Im just gonna review this five stars from the author. So to notify everybody, as i also say in the description of the book this is my first book, so please feel free to criticise some things that you find could be improved upon. I ask of you to please stay constructive. I hope you have a great read and please expect many things to change, such as the discription for example