im not sure what you mean?

Not a bad story at all. great development and a good pace. Its still in the beginning stages but that's fine. There is a lot of potential to the story.

thank you for your honest review. i really appreciate it.

thank you 😊

no problem. Thank you for reading.

Very pleasant story to read, something worth taking a moment and checking out. If you are bored and have some time. The chapters are quick pace and smooth. It isnt too long at all. keep it up.

you're welcome

the story have a nice flow to it. it is easy to read, fun, enjoyable to pass time. peronsally, the first chapter was a bit slow for me, but when you get past that, its gets much more enjoyable. I recommend this story if you are interested in gaming type of story.

A gaming type of story. I enjoyed it. Even though its only a few chapters, i can see the potential in the story. There are a few grammar mistakes but those can be fixed. I like how quick and easy the story is to read and not to heavy. its a great start. keep it up

What i like about this story was how sweet and conise the story moved. It did not have too many stumbling blocks but it was pleasanr overall. I do would like to see a bit more showing at certain times when he feels, other than that its a nice reincarnation story. its only just started but the possibilities is endless.

Your writing is very enjoyable to read. Easy and smooth chapters that i can blaze through without too much of a hurdle. it isnt choppy either. The story have just begun, but the idea can blast off into many different ways. i love scifi stories. Keep it up!

i really like how you describe this.

was it oddly worded?

i shall do my best.

Okay, for a first writer its actually not bad. There are some small writing issues, but everything is a work in progress. It is definitely a genre of magic and reincarnation. The chapters are face paced and will get into the story really quickly, which i like. Its smooth and simple to follow. There is a lot of potential to this story. I recommend you to travel with the author and check it out. Keep writing!

first! congrats on your first compeletion! keep it up.

random tip. when two characters are talking to each other, you dont always have to say i said and she said after the two characters are brought into the picture and they bounce the conversation back and forth. it keeps the converstaion flowing. You can use the said, when a desciption is added or another charcter breaks into the conversation to differentiate, who said what.

and the placement of said.*

So far there are only a few chapters so the possibilities of this story is endless. Its an interesting start and the character are interesting. There are a few pacing problems and the the where to place the words but it seems this is the authors fist try of writing a series. SO, with that being said, dont give up and keep writing.

same thing. The end isnt needed. The end represents the end of a story. your "said" and "asked" on this chapter when three people are talking, sometimes the said is best to put it behind the quote, so the transition between who is speaking helps in a more smoother tone. If you want to put it in the front, use it to break up the pacing for the readers.