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yadayada200028

yadayada200028

Lv2

I'm an enlightened individual who's just trying to do the things he loves before he dies ◉‿◉

2022-07-15 JoinedNigeria
6.1h

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77
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Commented

    that's my girl right there

    She wanted to refuse, but Betty was right too. No matter what, she couldn't let go of this golden opportunity and waste it on sulking over a bastard.
    altalt
    Love N' Cheese
    Urban · Sneakycat098
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Commented

    yep, I saw it coming.

    Her mind couldn't process anything anymore and her body felt much more heavier than usual, as she dragged herself into the bathroom. Her hairs were a complete mess and her eye bags were swollen red with itchy sensation at the corners from dried tears.
    altalt
    Love N' Cheese
    Urban · Sneakycat098
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Commented

    This is where you know she's madly in love and she's going to fall into depression soon lol

    But as these words came out of his mouth, the ground abruptly slipped under Ayana's feet. She couldn't believe what she was listening to just now. She wanted to confront them but maybe it was too early to judge.
    altalt
    Love N' Cheese
    Urban · Sneakycat098
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Replied to MansonFD7

    Most of the sentences are to show character interactions and help somewhat in character development. I try to make the paragraphs as short as possible but I'll try to shorten them more. Also, everything becomes better the more indepth you read. Thanks for the review, it helps me become better as a writer 😊❤️

    altalt
    操你妈
    Urban · yadayada200028
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Replied to MansonFD7

    I'm assuming that's a good thing 😂

    Ch 3 Not so good
    altalt
    操你妈
    Urban · yadayada200028
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Replied to Miriam_Ibekwe
    Ch 28 It took ten days for everything to turn upside down. (Day 8-first part)
    altalt
    操你妈
    Urban · yadayada200028
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Replied to MansonFD7

    sure.

    Normally Kelvin would have just gone towards playing games till the day was over or any important work was brought to his notice but he had something to take care of first.
    altalt
    操你妈
    Urban · yadayada200028
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Posted

    I don't think I need to say anything tbh lol, this is jksmanga's book so it deserves the 5 stars. He's one of my favorite authors.

    altalt
    Level up Zombie
    Fantasy · JKSManga
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Commented

    Smooth writing.

    Ch 22 Fight club
    altalt
    World End: The Successor's Contract
    Fantasy · Kirito_K5
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Commented

    use better punctuations

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    World End: The Successor's Contract
    Fantasy · Kirito_K5
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Commented

    Descriptions and wordings need a bit more work.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    World End: The Successor's Contract
    Fantasy · Kirito_K5
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Commented

    what's with the comma?

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    World End: The Successor's Contract
    Fantasy · Kirito_K5
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Replied to Kirito_K5

    Thank you max 🥂

    altalt
    操你妈
    Urban · yadayada200028
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Replied to Kirito_K5

    yep

    "Yes."
    altalt
    操你妈
    Urban · yadayada200028
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Replied to Kirito_K5

    ??

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    操你妈
    Urban · yadayada200028
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Posted

    This is a true gem. The synopsis and the cover doesn't do justice to it though, I suggest you update it to give it more traction.

    altalt
    A Lady Does It Better
    Sci-fi · QueenFrieza
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Posted

    While the plot is nice and all, you could do better with your story telling. A whole lot better.

    altalt
    World End: The Successor's Contract
    Fantasy · Kirito_K5
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Commented

    onwards

    Ch 4 Where am I?
    altalt
    World End: The Successor's Contract
    Fantasy · Kirito_K5
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Commented

    cliche

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    World End: The Successor's Contract
    Fantasy · Kirito_K5
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Commented

    moan in pain?

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    World End: The Successor's Contract
    Fantasy · Kirito_K5
    detail