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raisin_man

raisin_man

Lv14

Boi

2019-03-06 JoinedGlobal
6.5kh

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209
  • raisin_man
    raisin_man4d
    Commented

    Nice! I’m liking the story so far, but I hope the pace will be slower than canon. I feel like the one year for Bell’s level 1 - 10 is insanely rushed, and the story would leap in quality if Bell didn’t outgrow all of his companions within a month of meeting each of them. Like all the arcs are fine in canon, it’s just that one major event after another so quickly makes character growth less rewarding imo, and it sidelines every other character in the series. Like I get the faster growth, and I’m not against that, as it lets the MC meet new people and face new challenges as he progresses through the different circles of influence within Orario, but there comes a point where everyone else is just useless except for the one story arc where MC is briefly on the same power level as whatever character is being introduced. I feel like either Bell should have arrived in Orario earlier than he did in canon, or the events stay the same, but after Bell arrives the timeline stretches out a bit from 1 year to something like 5 instead. As that way his companions can probably level at least 3 times each, maybe more depending on different factors, and stay relevant. It would also allow for a slower (and better in my view) romance for Bell, where his initial infatuation/childish puppy-love can evolve into something actually significant as they (Bell and Ais) interact more and mature as their own actual people. Ais, coming out of her emotional walls and learning to love life, and Bell, being able to have his heroes journey and become the mature hero figure he wants to be in a believable timeframe, instead of a pubescent boy. More time would make room for some focus on growth and training and everyday life. It would also allow for world building to go on in the background, as each of the powers in Orario, and individual adventurers, have time to react to the shifting dynamics of an up and coming power. Instead, the story of Danmachi feels like time skips between major society/world shifting events that all somehow involve Bell, in which he is inexplicably and significantly more skilled than he was in the previous scene. Danmachi as a story has a lot of potential to be more and I’d be super excited to see a more fleshed out version of it. Sorry about the rant, just felt like letting it out lol. But you do you my guy, I’m sure you have your own plans, that are going to be great, and I’ll happily read what you decide to write. Us readers gotta put our trust into our authors!

    Ch 28 Bootcamp
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    Danmachi-Hell's forge
    Anime & Comics · loskro
    detail
  • raisin_man
    raisin_man4d
    Commented

    These council meetings/ pseudo kingdom building chaps are some of my favorite. thanks for the hard work!

    Ch 589 Chapter 583 : Hiruzen's Joy!
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    Naruto : The Wind Calamity
    Fantasy · Devil_Hex
    detail
  • raisin_man
    raisin_man14d
    Commented

    Dang, this story could’ve been a gem but it has the evil dumbledore trope. Tis a shame

    Ch 84 Chapter 84: I still want to live
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    I became Voldemort
    Book&Literature · HornyFBI
    detail
  • raisin_man
    raisin_man1mth
    Commented

    Glad to see another chapter! I’m really loving the book and I’m excited to see where you take it

    Ch 40 A Charming Lesson
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    A Wizard's Solitude
    Book&Literature · SovOz
    detail
  • raisin_man
    raisin_man1mth
    Posted

    This fanfic was plagiarized from SpaceBattles. It’s title is “OMFG! I’m the chosen one.” Written by Shawn. Go look there for the whole story, and support original author

    This book has been deleted.
  • raisin_man
    raisin_man1mth
    Commented

    We back!

    Ch 35 The Enchanted Mist Veil
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    A Wizard's Solitude
    Book&Literature · SovOz
    detail
  • raisin_man
    raisin_man2mth
    Commented

    I’m a fan. Keep going my guy

    Ch 8 8
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    Magical Journey (HPxMCU)
    Movies · OscBr
    detail
  • raisin_man
    raisin_man2mth
    Commented

    4 of the 5 chapters you just posted are repeats of the previous chaps

    Ch 80 Chapter 80
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    Journalling in the MCU: Characters Can Read My Diary?
    Anime & Comics · FFAddict
    detail
  • raisin_man
    raisin_man2mth
    Commented

    Nice potential, but the grammar is very bad. way too much effort to figure out what is supposed to be written.

    Ch 1 the letter
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    HP: the star chaser
    Book&Literature · Henry_childdreamer
    detail
  • raisin_man
    raisin_man2mth
    Commented

    Bruh don’t ruin this with a harem

    Ch 82 Invitation
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    Harry Potter and the Dovahkiin
    Book&Literature · DreamyApe
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  • raisin_man
    raisin_man2mth
    Commented

    This is amazing

    Ch 19 Breaking Point
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    A Wizard's Solitude
    Book&Literature · SovOz
    detail
  • raisin_man
    raisin_man2mth
    Posted

    This is plagiarized entirely. Amazing work, but not original. It was written by Coeus on SpaceBattles, under the title: Better living through magic. It is an incredible read, one of the best Harry Potter ff’s out there, but it’s really uncool to take it and present it as your own.

    This book has been deleted.
  • raisin_man
    raisin_man2mth
    Commented

    Thanks for the update! I really love this story, so I’m excited whenever I see a new chapter come out!

    Ch 26 CH: 26 Wizard's Will
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    Hogwarts: The Grey Wizard
    Movies · NotyourAngel
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  • raisin_man
    raisin_man3mth
    Commented

    Bruh, writing Onoki as such a raging moron is kinda wacky.

    Ch 85 Chapter 85
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    Naruto : Shadows of Resurgence
    Anime & Comics · Silent_stiele
    detail
  • raisin_man
    raisin_man3mth
    Commented

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m really liking this story, but writing the daimyo as such a moron is getting a little old. Everyone knows that to speak equally as heads of a nation, the nations must have similar military backing. The daimyo is just a walking moneybag, there is literally nothing he can do. He is alive and in power due to the mercy of the hokage, and watching all these scenes of him as if he actually matters is a little stale. I feel like it is all just build up to a face-slapping moment or something.

    Ch 83 Chapter 83
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    Naruto : Shadows of Resurgence
    Anime & Comics · Silent_stiele
    detail
  • raisin_man
    raisin_man3mth
    Commented

    Bruh it was still kinda lighthearted till you killed sokka

    Ch 38 Chapter 38
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    Avatar The Last Airbender: Not Avatar
    Anime & Comics · Vandalizer
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  • raisin_man
    raisin_man3mth
    Commented

    This is such a great fic, and I look forward to every new update. Props to how original you are making things and using plenty of new ideas. Really loving it so far, hope this continues

    Ch 21 Chapter 21: A New Year
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    Harry Potter: Arcane Instability
    Book&Literature · GrimsReaper
    detail
  • raisin_man
    raisin_man3mth
    Commented

    I was not expecting those twists my dude. Bold choices, but it’s all great. Loving this so far, very glad you continue to write this

    Ch 54 Chapter 54
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    Wandering Phantom-A Shadow Slave Fanfic
    Book&Literature · FieryBaldachin
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  • raisin_man
    raisin_man3mth
    Commented

    This is a plagiarized work from cloud9stories called Revolution. This guy just stole it and changed the name. go find the original work and support the actual creator of this story

    Ch 1 Naruto : Domination: Chapter 1
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    Naruto : Domination
    Anime & Comics · sybife
    detail
  • raisin_man
    raisin_man3mth
    Posted

    This is a plagiarized work from cloud9stories, who has actually written and uploaded all of this story on ff.net and also has an account here on webnovel under the same name. Go read the entire story on his account and don’t support plaigirization.

    altalt
    Naruto : Domination
    Anime & Comics · sybife
    detail