0vrLrd71
My senior quote was "Do they expect me to write something? Yeah, no." That's pretty cringe, should have actually thought it out, instead of giving one on the spot, that should say something about me..
Writing
of reading
1180
Read books
haha, imagine if it's not her head
pay p @l, koffee, subscribestar or something, etc, it could be any of them
Okay, who that
the censor got better at shadow banning comments
If the dad gets a decent place as a new job they'll probably let him work at home most days if he has a decent computer set up, except when he needs to be in person at the office - that way the mother can also worry less and get a job if she really wanted to
wow dude, you really are a psycho, first straight up reacting to a minor bullying with straight up intent to harm, and then this? I would have thought you would at least give it a skim over to get ideas as to how to use your system, its always a good source whenever you wanted to learn or create techniques, powers, and/or moves
this really broke the immersion, honestly it could be easily edited to make it seems like it's a small pov shift and showing her thoughts and a couple mumbles and it'll flow better than whatever this is
"What subjects?"
Okay. I dont have experience with this so I always feel weird when reading about bullies in high-school or middle school, I guess that's just so unrealistic to me that it's weird
should change out it to his, "to make /it/ his* like mine"
less anger and more irritation, it's not easy to truly become angry unless one has issues, plus the interaction beforehand was less something to be angry at, and more irritated, vexed, or annoyed, since it's just a typical sibling moment
this is what I mean, you could have used this as a point where she interacts with Noah as a way to show that the family dynamic is getting better or to demonstrate more depth for a character but you relegated it to side commentary that didn't really progress character relationships
I don't like this honestly, it isn't a sitcom or reality TV show, or even total drama, it doesn't fit the type of story this is , plus it's like a cheap way to give info (even if in character thoughts) without putting as much effort into a cohesive story- dont get me wrong, you have good writing, but I just think these section break the narrative and immersion
wow dude, she barely worried and you are already close to snapping at her? calm tf down
uhm... I think you need to edit that sentence at the end
ooookay? sorry for having opinions and commenting them in a place specifically for them
I know there's a few, I have the nsfw thread watched so I got notification when one was created, but it's been so long since they've updated that I don't remember them
No, all might was pretty fking compatible to OFA and he was buffed too, so besides his strength being boosted there wasn't any change, it was like it was natural for him, unlike with deku and how he gets that lightning and red veins to show he is using the quirk (and how it's an active component for izuku unlike how it was a passive quirk for all might till his injury
Yeah, this is pretty small for a farm, that's usually the size for medium to the bigger smaller mansions backyards