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Askook1yrCommentedCh 2 Chapter-2- Askook1yrCommentedCh 1 Chapter-1 A New Day Begins
- Askook1yrCommented
I wonder what you have planned for ray's hatsu. an idea I just had is his hatsu os something conceptual but simple sounding, like it lets him feel if things are balanced, or how to balance something. it could be anything from a shelf to a situation to how to balance the odds in a fight or how to balance his skills. I'm sure you have something planned but theres an idea you can work with I guess
Ch 22 Chapter 22 Heaven's Arena - Askook1yrCommentedCh 20 Chapter 20 The Journey to Zoldyck Mountain
- Askook1yrPosted
Surprisingly good. The main character's personality or "character" is not dog sh*t and has some nuance. I like how she's somewhat sadistic and cruel, but at the same time kinda loving and goofy with her dragons. The pace is also fast enough to get through stuff we already know, but focuses on parts that are different or highlights the mc's differences to original dany. all in all im only on chapter 8, but im looking forward to when the novel updates.
- Askook2yrPosted
The author wants feedback so he shall have it, I'm on chapter 19 and so far the book is really good, dont mind people saying the pace is slow, to me it is just fine for character development and plot progession. The only advice I feel I should give is to give us some ais pov, I know its her character but she feels like the npc in your party before you do their questline, all she does is follow the mc and only talks when the mc does, but the shopping seen gave me some hope, I dont know what direction you want ais to be so just take my option as what I feel so far. oh also some character pictures would be cool.
- Askook2yrCommented
i think that you would have to use space for most of the setting, otherwise it would feel like a diplomat with a sword that glows. you could make it like guardians where he gets kidnapped by aliens at some point as a kid, maybe after he meets barton and they become brothers, and he grows up in space watching the star wars movies and thinks they're real and wants to be one one or something, but he's just a "jedi mutant"
My Avenger Jedi SI fic ended up with a few problems when I tried writing it. If I go with an actual Jedi, he ends up negotiating everything meaning no action. Hydra/Shield sends him to destroy some rebels trying to topple a terrible dictator, he has the rebels disband and 'coincidently through unrelated means,' the dictator steps down. Stuff like that, so there are very few times he even needs to pull out his lightsaber. My writing style ends up having such scenes become terribly bland if done one after another, so my only real option is to turn it into something of a crack-fic where Hydra and many others try to manipulate or kill the Jedi but it always goes wrong for them. Please comment if that is something you might have an interest in reading, or if you have another idea on how to make a jedi working for Shield do something besides using diplomacy on everything.