It's a passable story, It's rare to have a fanfic about an ongoing manhwa. IMO the story progress to fast, there's no meaningful conversation between each Chara that makes it hard for me to be immersed in the story, It's too shallow, you used too many narrative, the system function still too ambigous, there's no mention if he can increase his stats by working on it or it can only be increase using pretend point. I read the story till 14 chap but the only character i can see in the MC is not a really good one, he didn't have a motivation except increasing his stats, no meaningful bonds between other chara because he always pretending, no dream, he accept his situation too fast. So far this story is readable but for me this story didn't make me want to wait each update to read it, if this is not a fanfic about mercenary enrollment then this Will became a boring story. I don't know if it became better later on but i am not really interested on reading on.

really? then where can i read the original fanfic?

One of the best HP fanfic i ever read, what i like the most in this fanfic is that it explain more about the fundamental of magic, the chara dialog is done well by the author, i just wished that he can confront his feeling about his father as soon as posible.

First of all for context i read this fanfic till before the end of the first volume, the thing i really noticed is that you use timeskip too much that we didn't really get a feel about the chara feeling, emotion, relationship, etc so it didn't really make the story feel immersive enough, when MC parent died, i didn't really feel anything except okay... so he became an oprhan then when the truth about his teacher and friend come out i also didn't really care too much about it, even till a whole town and his friend died it didn't really make me feel anything. This is just my opinion but i think you should spent some time to make chapters about their relationship, you rushed too much with the timeskip, i won't ask about every single day in his life but at least make enough to make reader care enough about the chara especially if its OC since we didn't know their emotion enough to speculate, even with og chara in arc about training with true dragon you timeskipped it, especially the romance part with the true dragon, you rushed too much with the story.

the wukong in this story has gone through the journey to the west storyline, but what is written instead is wukong who are arrogant, has no self reastrained, eager to kill someone, so easy to anger and also an idiot, i know that in this story wukong didn't complete his journey and those close to him died but to regressed his character even make him worse is too much in my opinion. He obviously didn't have his original strength yet he provoked someone stronger than him, other than prof x, jean and other kid who bullied him, the other chara didn't really do anythinh wrong, yet he hated them all the same. The story also advance too fast there's no detailed explanation about anything, the chara feel too 2 dimensional. I am really happy when someone make a fanfic using wukong or his strength as the base and not goku, yet this story dissapointed me to much.

It's a good fanfic, in the first place there's hardly a fic about TSE so i appreciate the author work on this, the thing that i can critics about this fic is that the weird interaction between each character for example early on it stated that rokuro hated the MC but later on they talked with each other casually, although it is stated that rokuro knew that it's not the MC fault, i want to see their conflict about that i think, also i don't know if it will be mention at later chapter but his guilt about their friends dead didn't really affect him much.

i just read the latest chapter and i think they are fine, my comment only applied on this chapter then especially when it talked about overcoming his nightmare

you know, i think you should change the POV to MC rather than third person POV it would be better in my opinion, right now it feels like reading an essay,

okay... i'm not really a fan of bleach but who explaining that to who, in which arc? didn't know there's an explanation about that

it's a convenient excuse to make the MC strong from the beginning sine we can't just make a long training arc to make him strong right

i think he need a kiss to transfer knowledge about the god he fight since a campione can't be affected by outside magic

if it is arcturus, there's no way his magic would feel like what harry describe, given his age he probably have quite a few fight right.

The first three reincarnated chance i can still enjoy it but after that the author obviously forgot what the novel title is, it suddenly chance to a generic wuxia novel, really what kind of fckng arc takes more than a hundred chapter?! you should just make a new novel!! so fkng dissapointing, some say that this novel is plagiarizing Worldwide simulation era but imo this is just a trash copy!!

In my opinion, this fanfic felt like an incomplete one, the chapter felt like a summary of the plot of the novel, the author accelerating the story too much that we didn't get to feel close with the either the MC, the world itself or other chara, i didn't even feel the emotion and personality of the character.

it's a good fanfic, the way you use MC pov in the story is good but i think you should include another character pov as well so we know what that chara think about the MC or what is their relationship with the MC in their pov. Another thing that make me frustated is the MC personality, he should have known about what kind of world he currently lived at, what kind of problem he will face in the future yet he don't try to train hard enough so he can grow strong enough, the way he act is like a person who still think that the world he lived at is real enough although he already face enough tragedy. It's like you purposely done that so that you have a reason to kill his remaining family. *English is not my main language so if there something wrong with what i write then I'm sorry in advanced

A really good story, it's been a while since I've read a really interesting dxd fanfic, i like the pacing of the story, the way you make the power ranking in a logical manner is good to, the MC didn't become OP so fast is also good. I can't wait for the way the rest of the story unfold, keep up the good work author, i have a new story to dump all my power stone now :v *Ignore the bad english please, i'm not that good at english.

The story is quite interesting, a few thing that i think that you can improve is the uppercase letter, the punctuation and don't make the paragraph to long, the character development should be explored a bit more too in my opinion. Sorry if its a bit weird, i'm not good at english. Thanks for the story by the way, keep up the good work 😁👍

I agree man, Rayleigh don't know the MC at all yet he agree to train him, its to convenient, the interaction between each character have no soul at all.

thanks for the chapter 🤘

I like the story so far, it's fun to read this kind of story once in a while, though i really want to know the appearance of the MC, i don't know if i miss it or what but i don't know the appearance of any character that appear in the story, but still thank you for making this novel. Sorry if it's cofusing, i don't really know english that much :v